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I’ve been busy these last few months analyzing data and crunching numbers.
I even summoned the evil Lassie from the Underworld and asked her what the future held.
She just laughed until Flaming Hot Cheetos flew from her nose. Then she peed on my couch.
She gives “female dogs” a bad name.
Here are my most likely scenarios for the holidays.
1. We all know the dead will rise soon, but strangely enough the first re-animated will be the Pilgrims. Scantily clad and wearing those kinky Pilgrim hats, they will hunger for human flesh.
“Is that a turkey baster in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
2. Santa goes bankrupt and is shot to death trying to rob one of those Salvation Army buckets.
3. I’m tired.
I even summoned the evil Lassie from the Underworld and asked her what the future held.
She just laughed until Flaming Hot Cheetos flew from her nose. Then she peed on my couch.
She gives “female dogs” a bad name.
Here are my most likely scenarios for the holidays.
1. We all know the dead will rise soon, but strangely enough the first re-animated will be the Pilgrims. Scantily clad and wearing those kinky Pilgrim hats, they will hunger for human flesh.
“Is that a turkey baster in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
2. Santa goes bankrupt and is shot to death trying to rob one of those Salvation Army buckets.
3. I’m tired.