uproar90
Carpathian Warlock
Offline
Came across this on Reddit
"Day 1:
The day has finally come. Rocket League comes to the Xbox, and I realise my chance to join the droves of hopeless, frustrated, self-loathing PS4 and Steam players is here at last. I load up the game, and decide to start off with an aerial tutorial. I’m a sensible *******, I think to myself.
To my surprise, this has nothing to do with tuning my TV. Apparently, players are able to make contact with the ball whilst flying through the air. Rumour has it that some even hit it in the direction they want, but this is unconfirmed as yet. I fail to hit a single ball, and decide I’m ready to play online.
My first match is a 3v3. The timer counts down, and I notice that I’m starting furthest from the ball. I try to beat my teammates to the ball, and a fast-typing teammate says “defence…”. I hope it wasn’t aimed at me.
The match progresses, and we are winning 2-1. A player called Caveman has scored both of our goals - he must have been playing for a while. I realise that I have the option to “toggle ball-cam”. I decide that playing from the ball’s perspective will only make this harder. We lose 4-2. I score 3 goals.
Day 2:
I decide to look at some controls. It turns out I can powerslide, and talk to the other players in my match using my arrow-pad. I can also double jump, which helps me to tap the ball into my opponent’s trajectory more frequently. In the first game of the day, my opponent scores, and I say “Nice Pass!”. I meant to say “Sorry!”.
As I play more games, I learn that Caveman is a computer, which makes me feel better about my life. I even score a goal for my team. Ball-cam means I can see the ball even when I’m fleeing to the safety of my own half or disorientated. I decide ball-cam is necessary at all times.
After attempting a few powerslides, I decide it’s not for me, and go back to carrying out 3-point turns in front of my goal. I have won 36% of my games so far, which puts me in the top 64%. Do the math.
Day 3:
I decide to play 2v2 and enjoy this far more. I have more room, and less people to embarrass myself in front of. I prowl in front of my goal like a pervert in the bushes, waiting for my opportunity to strike. I start to score a few goals, and mock my opponents with comments like “Good Save!” and “Nice Shot!”. I finally feel a part of this community.
I go back to aerial training and hit a few balls towards the general direction of goal. I consider pursuing Rocket League as a career.
Day 4:
I have spent all night dreaming about Rocket League. There is a wet-patch on my sheets, which reminds me of my inability to keep clean-sheets on Rocket League.
Today I go from “Rookie” to “Semi-pro” and understand the responsibility that comes with my new title. I guffaw whenever I see a Rookie now.
My girlfriend tells me that sometimes when I need to make good contact with the ball my real body will lurch forward. “I am beginning to live Rocket League, not just play it”, I tell her. We break up after I accidentally call her Rocket League whilst making love to her later that night.
Day 5
I have decided to make some sick modifications to my car, including a Halo and some sweet stripes. I listen to Beyonce’s Halo whilst driving my new car around on Free Play, and decide it is now our song. If you’re reading this Beyonce, I took your advice and put a ring on it.
Being a Semi-Pro, it makes sense for me to play some ranked matches. I decide to play 2v2, my speciality, and get lumped with a vegetable who literally has less chance of scoring then a Butternut Squash. He makes some decent saves, and actually scores the only game of the match, but it was all luck. He is awarded MVP, which I can only assume stands for “Massive Vegetable Prick”.
I am assigned the rank of Prospect. The game can clearly see my potential.
Day 6
My girlfriend has begun posting pictures on Facebook of her with another man. He’s quite handsome, but he’s probably still a Rookie. I begin to post pictures of my high scores in revenge. She deletes me as a friend. Probably a jealousy thing.
I am struggling to make my way through the ranks. My opponents have definitely improved, so I begin a strict regimen of aerial training. I also change my diet, and start drinking petroleum. To think like my car, I must act like my car.
My aerial prowess improves with every hour, and I find myself making contact with the ball 7.92% of the time by the end of the day. I spend the night having sex with an exhaust pipe.
Day 7
That's today. I have used the goal-replays to gradually type out this report. I started 7 hours ago.
I am Rocket League."
https://www.reddit.com/r/RocketLeague/comments/477r5h/my_first_week_playing_rocket_league/
Whats widge's reddit handle?
!