SaintsReport Shallot Uncovers Surprise Wild Bird Offense (1 Viewer)

Galbreath34

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MIAMI - Undercover reporters snuck into the Miami Dolphins' practice facility and uncovered Tony Sparano's latest surprise offense. Last year Sparano surprised the New England Patriots with the Wild Cat offense that has taken the league by storm. They rushed for 216 yards and cruised to a 38-13 upset as New England scrambled to figure out how to combat the direct snap to Ronnie Brown.

This year the league has caught up to the Wild Cat with other teams running it themselves, and practicing against it with plenty of film to study. Miami, despite some success with the Wild Cat has limped along to a 2-3 record heading into a showdown with the undefeated Saints who have just come off a thrashing of the New York Giants. The Saints are not only defeating opponents, but they seem to be sapping their will as teams like the Bills and Jets have been sent reeling with self-doubt. Those victories, however are nothing compared to what's been laid down on NFC East opponents. A tearful Osi Umenyiora said after the game:
I thought I had really made a name for myself. After two pro-bowls, you think you've seen it all, [sobs uncontrollably, then snorts a snot bubble] but what Jermon [Bushrod] did to me out there was unreal. I've never been owned like that...ever. At one point I begged for him to let up a little bit, and he just pancaked me. The game was bad enough, but after the game he made me give up my travel lunch money. What could I do?

Seeing this domination heading to town, Tony Sparano knew he had to act fast. When confronted with the leak Sparano told reporters:
In a bar fight when you're the little guy, you go for the sucker punch. Last year we knew we were outmanned facing the Patriots, so we caught them offguard with the Wild Cat. Now, good teams like the Colts and Saints have their guard up. I know if we man up and play toe to toe we're going to lose, so I have to get creative.

That creativity has spawned the new Wild Bird offense, which, like the Wild Cat, features a direct snap to Ronnie Brown. In the Wild Bird, however, quarterbacks Chad Henne and Pat White are each spread out a few yards behind Brown outside each offensive tackle. The idea is to lateral the ball to one of the QBs, or sometimes side to side several times, before throwing the ball down field. Every single route is a hook and ladder, and they play like "the band is on the field."

WR.......T G C G T TE
...............................WR
.............RB
.....QB................QB

Sparano said he intends to go forward with the offense despite the leak:
Listen, when the Saints are coming it's pretty much no-huddle two-minute-drill go-for-broke time right after the coin toss. Didn't you see them score on 6 of their first 7 possessions and wind up on the 1" line in the other? What would you do? I know our fans say we should try to keep them off the field and win the battle for time possession. Hey, I tried that against the Colts, and that loss sucked hard. I don't have the strength to go through that again.
When asked how many gimmick offenses he'd come up with Sparano fired back:
Look, people finally realized the Wild Cat was like the old single wing, and reporters are happy to defend it as very traditional. We think the Wild Bird is just as traditional. Passing all over on kickoffs punts and interceptions is as old as backyard touch football. We're just bringing it to every down on offense in the NFL. The Stanford-Cal game is a classic, and don't forget the Saints themselves used it against Jacksonville. Sure they only used it for the last play, but when you face New Orleans you have to treat every play like it is your last play.

Fans look forward to the Wild Bird this week, and shouldn't be surprised to see the Falcons resign Shockley quickly as they implement the Dirty Wild Bird next week.
 

Brees Lee

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Dude that Is the funniest post I have ever read. Love the part with Osi and Bushrod....
 

o0Requiem0o

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"The idea is to lateral the ball to one of the QBs, or sometimes side to side several times, before throwing the ball down field."

I almost fell out of my chair!
Great post!!:plus-un2:
 
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Galbreath34

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Thanks, boredom creeps in.

Is it just me or do these weeks seem longer when we're undefeated? Sunday seems to take forever to roll around, and next time we have a whole extra day and a half to stew. I usually hate having the early bye, but this time I'm actually thankful for it. I can't imagine how wound up I'd get having to wait two weeks for the next game if we were 9-0.
 

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