Serious relationships..... (3 Viewers)

tampa saints fan

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Just one for me, been with her since 14 years old(25 years). Been through everything together, drug addicted mom(hers) alcoholic mom(mine), her mom being shot in the head on a drug deal gone bad, kidney transplant for my son(my wife donated, son was only 2 years old). I could go on and on.
 

CapitalCitySaint

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Are you surprised, CCS? Come on.

I married the same woman twice with the same results.

She gave me a great son, so I don't regret any of it.

But there is one that got away that I regret.

And I'm a lefty.
Common theme...get in relationships we know are no good for us...then stay in them. I think as I've gotten older, I'm definitely better about ending them sooner rather than later.
 

UndeadSnoopy

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Common theme...get in relationships we know are no good for us...then stay in them. I think as I've gotten older, I'm definitely better about ending them sooner rather than later.
Yes. I know how to shut it down now.

I think sex and passion blinds you when you are younger. But maybe that's a man thing.

I had relationship that was exciting months ago. She was younger and a nice person but I realized that it wasn't going to work.

It's hard to do that because no one wants to be alone.

But at some point, you think of you and the other person. And what's right.
 

efil4stnias

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ive had several long term relationships....but only 2 really "serious" ( talked marriage ) and one of those i married. for 19 years now.

Even in high school- my first GF was from 9th-12th grade ( midway thru senior year- dumped me just before senior prom )

i never was a "dating" kind. If i met a girl i liked, and vice versa, it tended to be long term. My friends used to kid me about the one in the group that always had a long term thing ( more than a year ) out of all of us. Some of those were semi-serious. But even those, i was in my 20s, still in college, and had no IDEA what i wanted.
My last long term GF was my last year in college. She broke it off after 18 months stating she needed "more" ( by more, she meant a man with a career/steady well-paid, grounded) i was like "im 9 months away from graduation!??!?!" wasnt enough. That was a back-breaker. But i just chalked it up to the terrible endings i produced years prior. ( Karma ).

The other serious one was a gal who came from a different background - she was Middle Eastern. It was interesting because all those years, it turns out, she had picked me to be the one to "flip" her father into allowing her to be with a "western" man. And i did. And no sooner did that, she ended it. In dramatic fashion.

so only 2 really serious. The rest were long term but not overly-serious in that we spoke of a future in that sense.
 

guidomerkinsrules

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ive had several long term relationships....but only 2 really "serious" ( talked marriage ) and one of those i married. for 19 years now.

Even in high school- my first GF was from 9th-12th grade ( midway thru senior year- dumped me just before senior prom )

i never was a "dating" kind. If i met a girl i liked, and vice versa, it tended to be long term. My friends used to kid me about the one in the group that always had a long term thing ( more than a year ) out of all of us. Some of those were semi-serious. But even those, i was in my 20s, still in college, and had no IDEA what i wanted.
My last long term GF was my last year in college. She broke it off after 18 months stating she needed "more" ( by more, she meant a man with a career/steady well-paid, grounded) i was like "im 9 months away from graduation!??!?!" wasnt enough. That was a back-breaker. But i just chalked it up to the terrible endings i produced years prior. ( Karma ).

The other serious one was a gal who came from a different background - she was Middle Eastern. It was interesting because all those years, it turns out, she had picked me to be the one to "flip" her father into allowing her to be with a "western" man. And i did. And no sooner did that, she ended it. In dramatic fashion.

so only 2 really serious. The rest were long term but not overly-serious in that we spoke of a future in that sense.
You’re burying the lede
The drama is the interesting part
 

livefromDC

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Well I've been married now for 10+ years to an absolutely amazing, successful and smart woman. Counting her I'd say I've been in zero serious relationships.

Now at work, that's a different story. I'm all serious business there. No nonsense ya know. But I've always been pretty informal in my private life.
 

CapitalCitySaint

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Yes. I know how to shut it down now.

I think sex and passion blinds you when you are younger. But maybe that's a man thing.

I had relationship that was exciting months ago. She was younger and a nice person but I realized that it wasn't going to work.

It's hard to do that because no one wants to be alone.

But at some point, you think of you and the other person. And what's right.
I think it still blinds us in our older age but the whole "this is fun but I'm also really frustrated because all these other criteria/needs aren't being met" become as strong when you're older and realize you don't have the years to waste anymore.

I'd say it was probably around 4 years ago that I really started being more cognizant of when relationships were not fulfilling greater needs apart from just the physical and would end them. But also for women, I think it's easier for us to not be physically attracted to men when the other needs aren't being met.

Back in 2016 I dated this guy for about 4 months who was 3 years younger than me. He was a really nice guy, attractive and we were both into each other. About 3 months in I was like okay I can't figure out if he's just dumb or if we have cultural differences (he was from South Africa). His downfall started when I met his twin (not identical) who was a PhD physical therapist and I was like damn, yep. He's just dumb. They came to the US at the same time, both went to college on soccer scholarships and were raised by the same people. Having a twin in his case really did not help him at all in this scenario.

After that, I just started noticing other areas in which it just wouldn't work and once that started to happen, the physical attraction for him faded and I just had to end it.
 

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