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My maternal Grandma died this morning. I'm fine. I'm not looking for sympathy. I actually feel good. I can't shake this feeling of relief that the suffering is finally over for her. I've kept it to myself, wanting to maybe post something, but not sure what I wanted to say. I'm still not, so I'll just type and see what I end up with.
She moved to Shreveport years ago from a town about an hour from here, Rockdale, TX. That's where she'll be buried, next to my Grandpa -- who she's had to live without for over 30 years.
In recent years she was diagnosed with Alzheimers. In that time, the running -- well, joke isn't the right word because she didn't think it was funny -- the continuing issue was that my Mom had stolen her clock. We have no idea what in the hell she was talking about. What clock it could have been. And why she would think my Mom did this.
She was one of those feisty, hell, not-always-so-easy-to-love people that managed to turn that about herself into an endearing trait. She hated the Cowboys with a profound passion which is a strong quality in anybody.
And not fair to her, my Dad's Mom, now my last surviving Grandparent, doted on her grandkids as if we hung the moon, to the point of it being an impossible standard for anybody else to be held to.
But, thankfully, we grew a little closer as we grew a little older. And I learned to respect, even appreciate, that she could, at times, be an intensely solitary person.
She met her husband in the Marine Corps. Yes, my Grandma was in the Marine Corps. Okay, so she didn't actually wear combat boots, but still...
Many times I've heard the story of one visit when she had done the Grandmotherly thing and baked us kids oatmeal raisin cookies. Now I loved chocolate chip cookies. Still do. Oatmeal raisin cookies and chocolate chip cookies resemble each other, particularly when you are a kid. They are not, however, anything alike -- particularly when you are a kid. So I did what any kid who doesn't like raisins would do -- I ate the cookie part while carefully picking the raisins out and hiding them around the house. I ate a lot of cookies. She found a lot of raisins. (Ok, I probably wasn't always so easy to love either.)
I certainly don't mean to paint a picture of her as a miserable person. She wasn't. I loved her laugh.
She beat cancer decades ago but we discovered in recent weeks that her body was ravaged this time, she was old and in failing health and there was nothing to do but let nature take its course. So Mary Manning's life ended this morning, with my Mom at her side. (Yes, I occasionally like to wonder if we're somehow related to Archie.)
The plan is to have the funeral Monday. I'll get to see my two Uncles from that side of the family who I don't get to see nearly enough. I'll see my Mom again since moving to Texas. And if Kati and Preston can make it I'll get to see, for the first time, my newest niece, Abby, born last month.
So while I'm feeling a little conflicted about not experiencing the typical grief over a loved-one's passing as I've become accustomed and seems expected, I'm just relieved that she's not deteriorating anymore. My mind stays stuck on the good memories.
So, goodbye, Grandma. As I matured, I learned to like raisins. Better, I learned to love you, not-always-so-easy as that was.
And, rather surprising to me, I actually found a picture of her online from the '40s. (3rd from the left.)
She moved to Shreveport years ago from a town about an hour from here, Rockdale, TX. That's where she'll be buried, next to my Grandpa -- who she's had to live without for over 30 years.
In recent years she was diagnosed with Alzheimers. In that time, the running -- well, joke isn't the right word because she didn't think it was funny -- the continuing issue was that my Mom had stolen her clock. We have no idea what in the hell she was talking about. What clock it could have been. And why she would think my Mom did this.
She was one of those feisty, hell, not-always-so-easy-to-love people that managed to turn that about herself into an endearing trait. She hated the Cowboys with a profound passion which is a strong quality in anybody.
And not fair to her, my Dad's Mom, now my last surviving Grandparent, doted on her grandkids as if we hung the moon, to the point of it being an impossible standard for anybody else to be held to.
But, thankfully, we grew a little closer as we grew a little older. And I learned to respect, even appreciate, that she could, at times, be an intensely solitary person.
She met her husband in the Marine Corps. Yes, my Grandma was in the Marine Corps. Okay, so she didn't actually wear combat boots, but still...
Many times I've heard the story of one visit when she had done the Grandmotherly thing and baked us kids oatmeal raisin cookies. Now I loved chocolate chip cookies. Still do. Oatmeal raisin cookies and chocolate chip cookies resemble each other, particularly when you are a kid. They are not, however, anything alike -- particularly when you are a kid. So I did what any kid who doesn't like raisins would do -- I ate the cookie part while carefully picking the raisins out and hiding them around the house. I ate a lot of cookies. She found a lot of raisins. (Ok, I probably wasn't always so easy to love either.)
I certainly don't mean to paint a picture of her as a miserable person. She wasn't. I loved her laugh.
She beat cancer decades ago but we discovered in recent weeks that her body was ravaged this time, she was old and in failing health and there was nothing to do but let nature take its course. So Mary Manning's life ended this morning, with my Mom at her side. (Yes, I occasionally like to wonder if we're somehow related to Archie.)
The plan is to have the funeral Monday. I'll get to see my two Uncles from that side of the family who I don't get to see nearly enough. I'll see my Mom again since moving to Texas. And if Kati and Preston can make it I'll get to see, for the first time, my newest niece, Abby, born last month.
So while I'm feeling a little conflicted about not experiencing the typical grief over a loved-one's passing as I've become accustomed and seems expected, I'm just relieved that she's not deteriorating anymore. My mind stays stuck on the good memories.
So, goodbye, Grandma. As I matured, I learned to like raisins. Better, I learned to love you, not-always-so-easy as that was.
And, rather surprising to me, I actually found a picture of her online from the '40s. (3rd from the left.)