Stimulus checks (1 Viewer)

[Super44]

Q: What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q: Where will the government get this money?
A: From taxpayers.

Q: So the government is giving me back my own money?
A: Only a smidgen of it.

Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.

Q: Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
A: Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U. S. Economy with and your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* if you spend it on gasoline, your money goes to the Arabs.
* if you purchase a computer, it goes to India,Taiwan or China.
* if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
* if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
* if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.
* if you pay your credit card off, or buy stock, it will go to the management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead keep the money in America by:
(1) Spending it at a yard sale, or
(2) Go to a ballgame, or
(3) Spend it on prostitutes, or
(4) Beer, or
(5) Tattoos
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day. No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help

Well you are incorrect with regards to oil and gas! There are thousands that work in o&g in Louisiana, either directly, or as contractors. And not all oil companies are owned by the ARABS! So even though there is really no need to be traveling at this point, if you do need to do so, when you fill up your car just know that some of your dollars are helping others (U.S. O&G workers), remain employed! Just saying.

 

[Super44]

I could spin this a few ways. One of which, is something most, if not all men enjoy. ?

 

[brandon8283]

We will get $2900 from this. The plan is to use $1800 to pay the taxes we owe for 2019

This man paid taxes, they gave it back to him, and he used it to pay back his taxes.

I’m not sure if it’s genius or madness.

 

[Dago]

OP how do we do suggestions 1, 2, 3 & 5 from a socially responsible distance?

 

[gboudx]

This man paid taxes, they gave it back to him, and he used it to pay back his taxes.

I’m not sure if it’s genius or madness.

Ha. We haven't paid what the IRS says we owe them in underpaid income taxes yet. So we will become the mediator of the transfer of money from the Treasury, to it's internal department, the IRS. Instead of them walking it down the hall, or sending it via inter-office mail, we have to do this transfer process.

 

[Zack Lee]

the Columbia’s will end up with their share of the money. Because many of us will be spending it on hookers and .. uh coffee. Yea.

They are stimulant checks after all.

 

[guidomerkinsrules]

the Columbia’s will end up with their share of the money. Because many of us will be spending it on hookers and .. uh coffee. Yea.

They are stimulant checks after all.

That as a long way to go for that joke
- but since none of us are going anywhere ...

 

[Zack Lee]

That as a long way to go for that joke
- but since none of us are going anywhere ...

actually the last part was edited in. I was just thinking of where George Carlin would spend the money.

I often make my way through life by saying “what would George do”

 

[MLU]

We will get $2900 from this. The plan is to use $1800 to pay the taxes we owe for 2019, and save the rest in case of unexpected layoff. We aren't filing the 2019 taxes until July though.

My plan is to add every penny to the emergency fund, along with the tax refunds and money we had planned for trips, furniture, house decor, etc.

 

[MLU]

Q: What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q: Where will the government get this money?
A: From taxpayers.

Q: So the government is giving me back my own money?
A: Only a smidgen of it.

Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.

Q: Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
A: Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U. S. Economy with and your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* if you spend it on gasoline, your money goes to the Arabs.
* if you purchase a computer, it goes to India,Taiwan or China.
* if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
* if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
* if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.
* if you pay your credit card off, or buy stock, it will go to the management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead keep the money in America by:
(1) Spending it at a yard sale, or
(2) Go to a ballgame, or
(3) Spend it on prostitutes, or
(4) Beer, or
(5) Tattoos
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day. No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help

This reads like one of those emails from an Uncle, Grandparent, etc that get deleted quickly. I'm sure some of it is intended for humor, but most of it is just wrong. I will add that if you do spend the stimulus check, buy local if you can. I recommend that you save it though. If you don't need it to live on in the coming months, invest it once the stock market hits the bottom in a month or two.

 

[guidomerkinsrules]

This reads like one of those emails from an Uncle, Grandparent, etc that get deleted quickly. I'm sure some of it is intended for humor, but most of it is just wrong. I will add that if you do spend the stimulus check, buy local if you can. I recommend that you save it though. If you don't need it to live on in the coming months, invest it once the stock market hits the bottom in a month or two.

Quiet ant! Grasshopper’s gettin a new fiddle

 

[Zack Lee]

its pretty aggravating that bill after bill keep getting passed that leave lower incomes stuck in a middle ground. I understood that early on it was most important to just get the relief out. But the way its set up was if you make less than 250 per week, you are entitled to 4, 5 or 600 depending on that particular bill. But if you make just over the 250 you are entitled to nothing. So for each consecutive bill, you do well if you are not working or working very little but if you make 250 to 500 per week, you are being penalized for actually being at work. With each new bill its just been passed with people in the middle SOL. Sounds like the latest is just going to be more of the same. Over the life of these things, millions of Americans are missing out on thousands of dollars for being "fortunate" enough to have a job.