Stimulus checks (1 Viewer)

[BELOWSEALEVEL]

Q: What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q: Where will the government get this money?
A: From taxpayers.

Q: So the government is giving me back my own money?
A: Only a smidgen of it.

Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.

Q: Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
A: Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U. S. Economy with and your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* if you spend it on gasoline, your money goes to the Arabs.
* if you purchase a computer, it goes to India,Taiwan or China.
* if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
* if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
* if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.
* if you pay your credit card off, or buy stock, it will go to the management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead keep the money in America by:
(1) Spending it at a yard sale, or
(2) Go to a ballgame, or
(3) Spend it on prostitutes, or
(4) Beer, or
(5) Tattoos
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day. No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help

 

[superchuck500]

I don’t think these payments are “stimulus” in the ordinary sense. The purpose is not so much to stimulate economic activity as it is to soften the blow of the sudden economic shutdown on households (brought on by a public health crisis).

It is to buy necessary goods and services to get by - not to stimulate slow economic activity.

 

[gboudx]

We will get $2900 from this. The plan is to use $1800 to pay the taxes we owe for 2019, and save the rest in case of unexpected layoff. We aren't filing the 2019 taxes until July though.

 

[efil4stnias]

or you could pay your mortgage note, use to lower/payoff cc debt, pay utilities or put food on the table.

I guess we will be seeing these "welfare queen chain emails " yet again.

cant wait.

 

[Mr. Blue Sky]

Stimulus checks?? I hope that a more accurate description is Stimulus direct deposits.. if not, then it’ll be even more of a clusterblank.

 

[Infoman]

I am buying Homemade Louisiana Crab Nets and Traps... Stocking up on Locally made Frog Bone Seasoning... Getting some new accessories for my American Made Xpress Bay Boat... and Buying Loads of de-veined Gulf Shrimp to put in the freezer... and I cheat on my Taxes (j/k Big Brother) ... So.... HA!

 

[guidomerkinsrules]

OP how do we do suggestions 1, 2, 3 & 5 from a socially responsible distance?

 

[FootballLady]

 

[CapitalCitySaint]

I won't be getting one. I have, however; been stress shopping online a ton. Don't really care who I'm helping by doing so.

 

[CapitalCitySaint]

I don’t think these payments are “stimulus” in the ordinary sense. The purpose is not so much to stimulate economic activity as it is to soften the blow of the sudden economic shutdown on households (brought on by a public health crisis).

It is to buy necessary goods and services to get by - not to stimulate slow economic activity.

You have lost your sense of humor in this pandemic, counselor. I don't think this was a serious post (unless it was).

 

[Bayouboy]

Yea, the cap at one fitty (joint filer) is too damn low! I get screwed every where I turn.....except in my own bedroom!

 

[bigdaddysaints]

Q: What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q: Where will the government get this money?
A: From taxpayers.

Q: So the government is giving me back my own money?
A: Only a smidgen of it.

Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.

Q: Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
A: Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U. S. Economy with and your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* if you spend it on gasoline, your money goes to the Arabs.
* if you purchase a computer, it goes to India,Taiwan or China.
* if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
* if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
* if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.
* if you pay your credit card off, or buy stock, it will go to the management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead keep the money in America by:
(1) Spending it at a yard sale, or
(2) Go to a ballgame, or
(3) Spend it on prostitutes, or
(4) Beer, or
(5) Tattoos
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day. No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help

would it count if I drank corona at a Toronto Blue Jays game with an Asian prostitute I got while getting my tattoo at the Asian massage parlor?

 

[bclemms]

Is it bad if I take my money and short sell Carnival Cruise Lines?

 

[efil4stnias]

Is it bad if I take my money and short sell Carnival Cruise Lines?

Only if the ECB bails em out

 

[jayd265]

Instead keep the money in America by:

(5) Tattoos

i was in the middle of my second session on a half sleeve and they released the news of tattoo shops closing at midnight. so that sucks. i'm waiting for my next few sessions. just gotta get the shops to open. eventually.