The addict thread (2 Viewers)

ETA: I'm really late to this conversation, so don't be too hard on me if you guys have already discussed this ad nauseam.

I've had a few family members and friends addicted to alcohol. I'm not a mental health professional at all, but hear me out.

I think too many people looking at the problem all wrong. When folks look at those who have these addictions as simply "not wanting to change" or "being stubborn", etc., they narrow it down to a "will" problem. As in, he/she doesn't have the will to quit but it's because he/she's selfish, or greedy. I know it's really easy to get frustrated with people like this but ultimately it's up to people without these DISEASES (because yes, addiction IS a disease) to realize that they don't have a clear mind to work with when they're doing these things. They can't just abstain from something because there is a real, physical chemical imbalance in their brain that will make them suffer if they do not feed that addiction.

What this particular person needs is HELP, not isolation IMHO. Of course if they are endangering someone, yes, by all means one would want to distance themselves from that situation. But being there for a person through this tough time and not kicking them out or giving the "tough love" treatment (which seldom works, btw) is IMO the best way to fix this. Throwing someone out will only make the problem worse and the person will not ONLY feel as though they are a raging, uncontrollable pillhead who doesn't have control of themselves BUT one that is all that AND has a family that has given up on them.

Nobody should be kicked to the curb or given up on because they have a problem they can't attack with a full arsenal. You see time and time again more success stories than not from people that go to rehab and are surrounded by people who genuinely care about their well being, peers that share many of the same (or worse) hardships and family or friends that make themselves available to them for support. This is how people recuperate.

I'm not claiming to know some means to an end way of dealing with addiction because I don't. There are so many people with so many complex and varying issues it'd make my head spin. I acknowledge that and respect that I don't know half of what many are experiencing. But I've seen a family member and a few friends given the "tough love" treatment, and i've seen all of them regress rapidly during that time.

just my .02
That point is one of the biggest obstacles for an addict to overcome; Society's perception that he/she is simply "weak-willed", which is not true.
 
ETA: I'm really late to this conversation, so don't be too hard on me if you guys have already discussed this ad nauseam.

I've had a few family members and friends addicted to alcohol. I'm not a mental health professional at all, but hear me out.

I think too many people looking at the problem all wrong. When folks look at those who have these addictions as simply "not wanting to change" or "being stubborn", etc., they narrow it down to a "will" problem. As in, he/she doesn't have the will to quit but it's because he/she's selfish, or greedy. I know it's really easy to get frustrated with people like this but ultimately it's up to people without these DISEASES (because yes, addiction IS a disease) to realize that they don't have a clear mind to work with when they're doing these things. They can't just abstain from something because there is a real, physical chemical imbalance in their brain that will make them suffer if they do not feed that addiction.

What this particular person needs is HELP, not isolation IMHO. Of course if they are endangering someone, yes, by all means one would want to distance themselves from that situation. But being there for a person through this tough time and not kicking them out or giving the "tough love" treatment (which seldom works, btw) is IMO the best way to fix this. Throwing someone out will only make the problem worse and the person will not ONLY feel as though they are a raging, uncontrollable pillhead who doesn't have control of themselves BUT one that is all that AND has a family that has given up on them.

Nobody should be kicked to the curb or given up on because they have a problem they can't attack with a full arsenal. You see time and time again more success stories than not from people that go to rehab and are surrounded by people who genuinely care about their well being, peers that share many of the same (or worse) hardships and family or friends that make themselves available to them for support. This is how people recuperate.

I'm not claiming to know some means to an end way of dealing with addiction because I don't. There are so many people with so many complex and varying issues it'd make my head spin. I acknowledge that and respect that I don't know half of what many are experiencing. But I've seen a family member and a few friends given the "tough love" treatment, and i've seen all of them regress rapidly during that time.

just my .02

ideally, that is true...but addicts have a tendency to push people away from them...you can't really fault someone for 'giving up' that fight...
 
2.5 years today

That is the best thing I’ve heard all day! It seems like only yesterday you were detailing your struggle and saying you would be going away for a bit. I am really glad to hear you’re doing so well. Not that there aren’t still days where it’s tough, but by and large the world looks so much better when we’re not indulging our addictions:)
 
Self-pity or recovery - it's our choice

Page 53

"Self-pity is one of the most destructive of defects; it will drain us of all positive energy."

Basic Text, p. 80

In active addiction, many of us used self-pity as a survival mechanism. We didn't believe there was an alternative to living in our disease-or perhaps we didn't want to believe. As long as we could feel sorry for ourselves and blame someone else for our troubles, we didn't have to accept the consequences of our actions; believing ourselves powerless to change, we didn't have to accept the need for change. Using this "survival mechanism" kept us from entering recovery and led us closer, day by day, to self-destruction. Self-pity is a tool of our disease; we need to stop using it and learn instead to use the new tools we find in the NA program.

We have come to believe that effective help is available for us; when we seek that help, finding it in the NA program, self-pity is displaced by gratitude. Many tools are at our disposal: the Twelve Steps, the support of our sponsor, the fellowship of other recovering addicts, and the care of our Higher Power. The availability of all these tools is more than enough reason to be grateful. We no longer live in isolation, without hope; we have certain help at hand for anything we may face. The surest way to become grateful is to take advantage of the help available to us in the NA program and to experience the improvement the program will bring in our lives.

Just for Today: I will be grateful for the hope NA has given me. I will cultivate my recovery and stop cultivating self-pity.

as an addict, i'd know.
 

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