The addict thread (2 Viewers)

[FatCitySaint]

I see your point but:


2. Nobody can make an addict realize they want and need to quit. They have to realize it themselves. .

All addicts know they need to quit, it is reinforcing that idea in positive ways that can help them follow through. This is what I am saying.

 

[CapitalCitySaint]

All addicts know they need to quit, it is reinforcing that idea in positive ways that can help them follow through. This is what I am saying.

No, actually; they all don't. Addiction is not some simple equation and there are a lot of psycho/social factors that are coupled with addiction. You are trivializing and simplyfying addiction. If it were as black and white and simple as you are making it out to be, it would be much easier to cure.

 

[TheMike62987]

I puff the ganja every now and then and have a couple of drinks with friends on the weekends. Otherwise I'm just addicted to playing video games.

I have a friend going through a stint in rehab right now, and I can't imagine being away from my wife and daughter for that amount of time.

 

[TheMike62987]

No, actually; they all don't. Addiction is not some simple equation and there are a lot of psycho/social factors that are coupled with addiction. You are trivializing and simplyfying addiction. If it were as black and white and simple as you are making it out to be, it would be much easier to cure.

The first step to recovery is admitting that there is a problem. You're completely right, not every addict realizes that they have an issue.

 

[FatCitySaint]

No, actually; they all don't. Addiction is not some simple equation and there are a lot of psycho/social factors that are coupled with addiction. You are trivializing and simplyfying addiction. If it were as black and white and simple as you are making it out to be, it would be much easier to cure.

Okay

 

[CapitalCitySaint]

The first step to recovery is admitting that there is a problem. You're completely right, not every addict realizes that they have an issue.

Okay

Not all addicts are just people whose friend exposed them to pills or they stumbled across some cocaine at a party and got hooked. They aren't all 'normal people who happened to get addicted to drugs and if they stopped doing them could go back to normal'. Or Joe the attorney whose father he was close to died so he started drinking too much to cope with the loss.

Many addicts begin using drugs or alcohol because of other psycho/social issues. Perhaps after years of suppressing physical/sexual/psychological abuse from a parent or partner or someone else close to them and they are severely depressed.

Some of them are bipolar or schizophrenic (or a myriad of other psychological disorders) - which often doesn't begin to manifest until well into adulthood. They begin using drugs to cope with the side effects of their psychological disorder. It's entirely plausible to meet and marry someone who after years of marriage becomes an addict because they developed a severe mental disorder at 45 years of age. Most won't take the anti-psychotic meds. Then they start using illegal drugs to cope with the voices, paranoia, etc and will often never realize they are doing anything wrong or need to quit. Because even when sober, their mental status is flawed.

In cases like these, you must first treat and stabilize the mental disorder before you can begin to work on the addiction. Depending on what stage of their psychological disorder they are in, containing & treating that can be incredibly difficult or impossible.

 

[not2rich]

I've said this to people that know me and they know it's true but I've been really lucky as far as the addition thing goes. I've done most every legal painkiller and illegal drug you could think of in quantity and for significant periods and have not faced what I considered an addiction. If I ran out I stopped. I didn't take out loans or steal to get money to buy more. I stopped.

With age comes wisdom I suppose but even when I was younger (I'm 57 now) and was learning my limits there were times I woke up and wondered how I survived. Or coming down from what some might call binges on coke and meth (one of the worst things ever invented, if you haven't tried it don't) and feel so bad that I would wonder why I put my body thru that just for the buzz. I had friends that would stay up for 5 days straight and just become crazed. That never appealed to me.

Maybe I don't have the addictive gene or maybe I'm just a stubborn *** but it's just me. I'm trying to quit smoking cigarettes which is my only addiction so I guess I'm not 100% honest and it's hard. I can only imagine what an addiction to a substance would be like. As much as I used to love the pill and beer buzz there is somewhere in this house some morphine and demerol that a friend who has had numerous back surgeries left here. Do I want to go do some? Nah, I've got more productive things to do than lose a day being wasted.

I don't share this story trying to say I'm better than anyone else because I'll be the first to admit that I'm not. I've done a lot of really stupid things in my life but somehow I'm still around. The last thing I want to do is come off sounding self righteous. That is not my intent.

My utmost respect goes to anyone who has dealt with substance abuse issues and took the initiative to get clean. I've been around it and seen it first hand in friends and family and it ain't pretty. My dads wife (not my mom, the 3rd wife) killed my dad by feeding his depression with alcohol for several days while he sat in his easy chair. She was charged with elderly neglect resulting in death or something like that and did a little jail time.

I wish all the best to those of you trying to get away from your addictions and those of you that have rehabbed and are trying to stay away from them and your care takers. It's just as hard on them if not harder.

Keep on keeping on. You can do it.

In my 20's I would take just about anything, but my favorite drugs were alcohol, cannabis, cocaine and ecstasy. I never seriously sought help, but even at the time I realized it was negatively affecting my career and my relationships. I think the main reason I stopped was (a) getting married; and (b) changing my environment and moving on from my old friends.

I've rarely indulged in any drug but alcohol in many years, but I to this day believe I walk a fine line between "use" and "abuse" of alcohol. Truth is, I drink more evenings than not and have for some time - I rarely get very drunk, but I also rarely stop at one, and more often have two or even three. At the same time, if doesn't affect my work or relationship as far as I can tell. I wonder sometimes if I have a problem but won't admit it, but maybe that's why I try to consciously monitor my usage as well.

 

[LafourcheSaint]

While I can't ever say I was physically addicted to anything, in my early 20's I habitually used cocaine. After a useless year at UNO, I got a job making fairly decent money for a 20 year old drop out and I just went a little wild. Had good times and had bad times. That lasted for a couple of years until I almost got shot in the ghetto of Birmingham, AL while evacuating for hurricane Gustav. From that moment on I haven't had any desire to ever touch that stuff again and decided to go back to school. All that almost seems like a whole different world these days.

Booze, on the other hand, is a different story. I've always been a fairly heavy drinker since high school. But over the years it went from partying on the weekends (and Thursday during college) to getting plastered every night whether I was out or at home. Wild Turkey being my drink of choice. Thankfully I was still able to function normally in spite of it all and graduate college and get a job. But I realized about a year ago that it was becoming a major issue and now even though I still usually hit it pretty hard on the weekends, I completely cut out weekday drinking (not counting holidays) and it's definitely been for the best.

I'm thankful that I've never had a physical dependence and had the will to make changes for the better on my own, but I understand that it's not always possible for a lot of people and I feel for them.

 

[saintmdterps]

I've had the hardest fight with prescription pills for 20+ years off and on, but hardcore the last 8 years or so. At one point I would take 320mg of oxy and 600mg of hydrocodone a day. I've detoxed myself so many times I can't even count but never learned from it, the disease of addiction makes us forget. The core of our disease is self-centeredness, we also are under the illusion that we are not hurting anyone else, that if people would mind their own business everything would be better. A lot of us are "functioning addicts", we have jobs, houses, cars, families and provide. These are all things we haven't lost "YET". We are no different from the drug addict living on the streets, we just haven't gotten there yet.

You have hit the nail on the head right here. Narcissism may be at the very core of our addiction, as it is our way of saying "Look at me!" All the chaos engendered by our using, gambling, drinking etc. etc. forces so much of our world to go through, the "Yeah, but what about me?" filter.

When we can finally turn our attention to the world around us and those we've hurt is when we begin to make progress. It isn't "what about me?" but rather "What about everything and everyone else?" Be nice, treat others well and eventually good things will happen for you. it's really rewarding to watch that process unfold.

 

[saintmdterps]

Not all addicts are just people whose friend exposed them to pills or they stumbled across some cocaine at a party and got hooked. They aren't all 'normal people who happened to get addicted to drugs and if they stopped doing them could go back to normal'. Or Joe the attorney whose father he was close to died so he started drinking too much to cope with the loss.

Many addicts begin using drugs or alcohol because of other psycho/social issues. Perhaps after years of suppressing physical/sexual/psychological abuse from a parent or partner or someone else close to them and they are severely depressed.

Some of them are bipolar or schizophrenic (or a myriad of other psychological disorders) - which often doesn't begin to manifest until well into adulthood. They begin using drugs to cope with the side effects of their psychological disorder. It's entirely plausible to meet and marry someone who after years of marriage becomes an addict because they developed a severe mental disorder at 45 years of age. Most won't take the anti-psychotic meds. Then they start using illegal drugs to cope with the voices, paranoia, etc and will often never realize they are doing anything wrong or need to quit. Because even when sober, their mental status is flawed.

In cases like these, you must first treat and stabilize the mental disorder before you can begin to work on the addiction. Depending on what stage of their psychological disorder they are in, containing & treating that can be incredibly difficult or impossible.

heal the body, heal the mind, heal the Soul. Our body is the vessel of our mind and soul. If the vessel is leaky, there will be no mind and soul on which to work. And God only knows, there is always work to be done

 

[saintmdterps]

You haven't tried everything or she wouldn't be using. Everyone is able to become sober, it's all the non addicts that think otherwise.

Also, you must not have been attracted to a person who steals from children and mothers on their deathbed, right? It is not her doing this it is the addiction. The biggest fear of addicts is getting sick, but not only that, it is also the fact that when you detox the physical ailments only take a week or two, but then all of your actions come to you as you get sober and most can't deal with the things they did while high.That is another reason it is so hard to quit, once you quit you have to deal with reality....and that can be very hard. Especially if you are not in a very nurturing environment.

The last thing a recovering addict needs is someone throwing all of their sins in their face while coming out of the fog. The recovering addict DOES have to face these issues, but it is a slow drawn out process or they will definitely relapse.

It's up to you how much you care/love your wife. If you don't care....throw her out like garbage. If you do care for her stick it out and save her life, because it will kill her eventually. It almost always does.

Giving an addict an ultimatum just pushes him/her into a corner from which as others have stated, they will use as an excuse for the next binge.

However, if the addict is committing crimes then those around him/her may need to look for temporary shelter elsewhere. We all need to try to help but we do not need to be doormats or enablers. "I can't stay with you if you're going to continue to indulge your addiction" is a fair statement at some point in the addict's descent.

 

[FLIPPY]

Being the son of an undiagnosed alcoholic, thank God I've learned how to control my vices.. I could always tell myself to quit drinking when I hit a certain level of intoxication.... I've never felt the need to have to drink to function...

Granted, I smoked my share of the weed back in the day, but never let it control me...

My uncle always said, when you can't pay the rent because of your addictions, you have a real problem..

 

[BroKV]

I was in a "tag topic" meeting yesterday and my topic I pull from the pile was surrender. So I thought I'd share here as well.

I thought surrender was giving up when in actuality it means to join the winning side or recovery. The moment I surrendered was two days into my stay at rehab. I didn't want to be there and I prayed to God and asked for a sign to let me know that I was suppose to be there. That night when I talked to my wife I asked her what she would do if I asked her to come and get me. Her reply was "I am not coming to get you and if you leave there, don't come home". That was part of it but then my 11 year old daughter who is my sidekick said "Daddy, you don't get to come home till you finish your program". That was the moment of surrender, I changed everything and stayed the whole time and was open minded and willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober.

 

[saintmdterps]

I was in a "tag topic" meeting yesterday and my topic I pull from the pile was surrender. So I thought I'd share here as well.

I thought surrender was giving up when in actuality it means to join the winning side or recovery. The moment I surrendered was two days into my stay at rehab. I didn't want to be there and I prayed to God and asked for a sign to let me know that I was suppose to be there. That night when I talked to my wife I asked her what she would do if I asked her to come and get me. Her reply was "I am not coming to get you and if you leave there, don't come home". That was part of it but then my 11 year old daughter who is my sidekick said "Daddy, you don't get to come home till you finish your program". That was the moment of surrender, I changed everything and stayed the whole time and was open minded and willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober.

Excellent story. Surrender is addressed in every major religioous faith as well. In Hinduism, it is the battle of the little self against the One in the Bhagavad Gita. In Islam surrender is addressed in the true meaning on the word Hajj, or struggle. Buddhism has Nirvana or the "going out" of the notion of the self as separate from the world around us. Christianity has acceptance of a Savior.

For us addicts, surrender is a good thing, as we have fought so long and hard in the battle to maintain our egos as separate from everything around us.

 

[SaintStephen]

Talked to the wife and we'll be taking our vacation a few months early this year. Going about 20 miles south of San Diego to try out an Ibogaine treatment. 1/4 of my life spent in prescription drug abuse hell will hopefully be nothing but a memory come the end of March. Any posters experienced with Ibogaine, feel free to contact.