The disgusting effects of bullying... (1 Viewer)

nolaspe

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This is heartbreaking to watch... I know some may take umbrage to his mom filming him, but I think it's important to show how much harm it can do to a person...

Some NSFW lingo...


I'm glad he's getting support from all over...





 
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jasonsw

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This is heartbreaking to watch... I know some may take umbrage to his mom filming him, but I think it's important to show how much harm it can do to a person...


I'm glad he's getting support from all over...





A heartbreaking situation turns into a feel good story. Thanks for the post
 

Optimus Prime

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That was heartbreaking to watch

I hope this spurs the school to take action

There is no way the teachers didn’t know or see this bullying happen

And something should be told to the parents to stop this too

Something like “any student that is caught bullying another is suspended for two weeks, no ifs ands or buts”

And even if all the abuse and bullying stopped tomorrow this kid is going to carry this with him for the rest of his life and will manifest itself in many ways, maybe big, maybe small, maybe occasionally, maybe constantly

I read that many school bullies were bullied when they were younger or are bullied/abused themselves at home

Or as my girlfriend said once and I never forgot it

“Hurt people hurt people”
 

Frank The Rat

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The sad thing is that schools don't care. When I was in school we spoke to the school about my being bullied and their only response was for me to stand next to the teachers while I was on recess. Seriously, that sounds like so much fun. It finally stopped when I got tired of it and fought back. I guess they figured I wasn't an easy target anymore and left me alone. I didn't want to do it, but it got to the point it had to be done. My heart breaks for kids like Quaden and others that go through this.
 

IntenseSaint

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The sad thing is that schools don't care. When I was in school we spoke to the school about my being bullied and their only response was for me to stand next to the teachers while I was on recess. Seriously, that sounds like so much fun. It finally stopped when I got tired of it and fought back. I guess they figured I wasn't an easy target anymore and left me alone. I didn't want to do it, but it got to the point it had to be done. My heart breaks for kids like Quaden and others that go through this.
Schools don't care, and lately schools end up punishing kids who fight back.
 

Outbackjack

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This is heartbreaking.

But.........I can only speak for my school....and we have over 1000 kids in an elementary school, and I can assure you there’s so much love for our special needs children from all of the students.

To say schools look the other way is wrong, cause I can tell you it isn’t happening in my world.

And I speak with other principals locally, and it’s not happening at their schools.

I’m not saying it isn’t happening somewhere, but I can assure you at my school there is so much love and acceptance, especially for the special needs kiddos.

One suggestion for this lady is to Please stop! about this , in that tone, IN FRONT OF HIM!!!!

It appears she has built their relationship on him being bullied......talking about “hoping he doesn’t commit suicide” multiple times in front of the kid?????? Horrible parenting.
 

Oye

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To say schools look the other way is wrong, cause I can tell you it isn’t happening in my world.

And I speak with other principals locally, and it’s not happening at their schools.
Bullying happens, in large part, due to ignorance and assumptions that turn into accusations about how other people are.

Saying "schools don't care" is not a reasonable nor constructive generalization.

They've been researching bullying more in recent years than ever before. Locally, they undertook a campaign to find out how prevalent it is in schools up here and the results were alarming. MUch of it takes place in places schools and teachers don't have access to, e.g. social media.

But schools and lawmakers are looking to change that. They are changing definitions of bullying to encompass more, so that more protections can be offered.

It happens all the time and it's deplorable - and this case is heartbreaking.

But this defeatist nonsense about schools - and therefore, teachers - don't care is totally unproductive and counter-intuitive.

Schools don't care. What's the next step?

There is no next step. That's it. And it shouldn't be. And can't be.

I would also say that in areas where I have worked, the isolation that Frank described above wouldn't be a scenario that plays out in most places today.

As for me, I am currently evaluating a Bullying Prevention Program where I am, for local implementation. The website is: https://bullying-prevention.safeatschool.ca/module-1

there's stuff there that parents can use.

I've also spent the better part of this year on change in supervision policies as a direct response to bullying that was happening at a nearby local school.

Is it enough? No.

Is what's being done correct? Hopefully most of it.

Do teachers and schools care? Yes. A lot of us.
 

xpuma20x

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I have to join in with Oye and Outbackjack. Claiming that schools don't care or do nothing is not only counterproductive, but also extremely ignorant of what actually takes place in schools. As someone who has to deal with checking into bullying claims and such on a daily basis, I can tell you that none of this is as black and white as people want to claim. As previously pointed out, a huge majority of bullying in this day comes on social media. There is a clear break in social media, both from a school system and from personal/professional ethics, to keep school faculty and students away from each other on social media. This means that it is difficult to track when this type of bullying really does happen. We've also discovered that a lot of students know they can claim to their parents that they are being bullied even when they are often involved with bullying themselves. This is another issue, not so much the "false" claim side of it, but more that bullies often are being bullied themselves in some way, and quite often have their own issues that need to be sorted.
 

Optimus Prime

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Something I read years ago

“As a parent I can only be as happy as my saddest child”

When A kid is being mercilessly bullied on a daily basis it takes a huge toll on the parents

As rough as that video when he looks up and says ‘you don’t care!’ Had to be particularly soul shredding

Not only is this happening, your child accuses you of not caring or not fixing it

We’ve come a long way since sticks and stones
 

efil4stnias

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Bullying happens, in large part, due to ignorance and assumptions that turn into accusations about how other people are.

Saying "schools don't care" is not a reasonable nor constructive generalization.

They've been researching bullying more in recent years than ever before. Locally, they undertook a campaign to find out how prevalent it is in schools up here and the results were alarming. MUch of it takes place in places schools and teachers don't have access to, e.g. social media.

But schools and lawmakers are looking to change that. They are changing definitions of bullying to encompass more, so that more protections can be offered.

It happens all the time and it's deplorable - and this case is heartbreaking.

But this defeatist nonsense about schools - and therefore, teachers - don't care is totally unproductive and counter-intuitive.

Schools don't care. What's the next step?

There is no next step. That's it. And it shouldn't be. And can't be.

I would also say that in areas where I have worked, the isolation that Frank described above wouldn't be a scenario that plays out in most places today.

As for me, I am currently evaluating a Bullying Prevention Program where I am, for local implementation. The website is: https://bullying-prevention.safeatschool.ca/module-1

there's stuff there that parents can use.

I've also spent the better part of this year on change in supervision policies as a direct response to bullying that was happening at a nearby local school.

Is it enough? No.

Is what's being done correct? Hopefully most of it.

Do teachers and schools care? Yes. A lot of us.
this is what my youngest endured, the repeated calls/meetings and emails that went unanswered/unresolved that ultimately had me attend a field trip to witness first hand what transpires and the results.

. We had our first child there from prek 3 thru 7. Nary a problem.

Second child from prek3- 2nd. 1st and 2nd was where it began.

Some background- Private school ( tuition driven - no state/fed funding ), montessori style. We loved the school.

Then 1st grade happened. My youngest was struggling. We shunned it off as her not applying herself ( later, in 4th grade at another wonderful school, with wonderful, attentive and experienced educators, we were alerted to have her tested for dyslexia- which is what she ended up having { actually a form of- more of a processing issue, but in the dyslexia "family" })

Back to the school. So in 2nd grade, there were 2 girls in particular that singled out my child for being "different". We had always taught our girls to be kind, mindful and empathetic to others. So by nature, they assumed everyone else was the same. Not the case.
Started out with simple things like blocking her from getting in line, or on a particular playground apparatus. Then to name calling and other degradation techniques ( dirt on head while sitting down in grass, sand kicked on etc ). But 15 min later they would "include" her in that clique, and pretend to be a friend. Only to do this again. Repeatedly.
First we reached out to teacher. " i dont really see anything- but will keep eye out" . continued. only to be told " im not seeing it" so we stopped calling and started emailing. Still no recourse taken.
Then involved the vice principal who assured us steps would be taken. Well, as you guessed, a simple talking to only ramped up the bullying. ( which our daughter pleaded us not to do for fear of this exact scenario)

Field trip day. I told the wife, ill go. Great trip - swamp tour. Good stuff. Lunch was to be had at a local park ( sack lunch ).

So here we are- parents and child each having lunch then kids off playing. About 15 min into, my child runs up to me hair soaked. Im like "what happened" - She proceeded to tell me that a girl poured a cup of water over her head. But not any water. Water from a toilet in the public restroom.
Who? she told me. Every parent there could immediately sense my response. And im in no way ashamed to say i was ENRAGED. I began to make my way toward the girls, when the one responsible ran off, into the very restroom.
The moms were still trying to piece together when i arrived at restroom entry and called for the girl to come out. She refused. At that point the mom of girl #2 shoved me aside, said "i got this" and went in. Came out with her and started walking right past me. I said hells no.
so as they walked, i walked and began to press for answers. Mom of #2 decided to tell her she didnt have to answer anything. Finally the young girl admitted to the deed. Thats when HER mom and Mom of #2 got directly in my face saying im making more of this than it really was.
I lost my shirt. Told Mom#2 that if she ever rises up as if she plans on striking me ( which she did ) that she better make it right. The mom of #1 was actually initially quite reserved and seemingly apologetic UNTIL Mom of #2 got involved. Then they both turned irate w me. Two other dads had to actually get THEM out of my face. I then went and found the teacher who immediatley said " i i i didnt see anthing...what is going on " "Which was always the case. ( Come to find out later she had taken a position earlier that year in another school and was simply going thru the motions til end of year )
I left there immediately with my child and drove STRAIGHT to the school. By time i arrived, the narrative had been set. I entered the VP office and was simply astonished at the story that was told and what really transpired. I countered every thing he proposed and i could tell, this wasnt coming from him. The two girls had multiple siblings ( #1 with 2 others #2 one other ) at this school. It was quickly apparent what was happening.
Nothing was done to protect my child. Nothing was done to alleviate the issues that went unchecked for 4 months that culminated in this day.

about 8 months later, I received an email from this VP who is no longer with the school . It was an admission and apology. That his hands were tied and was told to deflect. He apologized and i figured it weighed on his conscience for those months. But as i explained to him in reply, his apology was little to nothing in the way of protecting my child. And since they had no interest in doing so, it was my job.

We have since switched schools and couldnt be happier. My youngest has blossomed and thru therapies and confidence, has now made honor roll for 7 straight quarters.

But this incident is indicative of the lack of preparation and training schools have to deal with really bad cases of bullying. Especially in the private sector, where tuition is the driving factor and part of the decision making process for ANY issue.

This isnt isolated. I know of two other schools that do/did absolutely NOTHING for others that were in same situation. ( Private as well )

I hope change comes, but not too optimistic.
 

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