The quickest way to New Orleans!! (1 Viewer)

Peet

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A man approached Boudreaux when he was visiting in Mamou.
"Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me the quickest way to get to New Orleans?"

Boudreaux scratched his head. Are you walkin' or drivin'?" he asked the
stranger.
"I'm driving."

"Ma, Dat's the quickest way!"
 
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gboudx

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[FONT=&quot]Boudreaux asks the clerk, "Which aisle is de one whar you keeps de Cajun
sausage?"

The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Cajun?"

Boudreaux kind of stiffens and says, "Mais yeah. But let me ax you
somet'ing. If I had axed for I talian sausage would you ax me if I was
Italian? Or if I had axed for German bratwurst, would you ax me if I was
German? Or if I axed for a kosher hot dog would you ax me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had axed for a Taco would you ax if I was Mexican? Would you?
Well, would you?"

The clerk says, "Well, no!"
With deep self-righteous indignation, Boudreaux says, "Well den, why did
you ax me if I'm Cajun, just 'cause I axed for Cajun sausage?"

The clerk replies, "Because you're at Home Depot."[/FONT]
 
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Peet

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[FONT=&quot]Boudreaux asks the clerk, "Which aisle is de one whar you keeps de Cajun
sausage?"

The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Cajun?"

Boudreaux kind of stiffens and says, "Mais yeah. But let me ax you
somet'ing. If I had axed for I talian sausage would you ax me if I was
Italian? Or if I had axed for German bratwurst, would you ax me if I was
German? Or if I axed for a kosher hot dog would you ax me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had axed for a Taco would you ax if I was Mexican? Would you?
Well, would you?"

The clerk says, "Well, no!"
With deep self-righteous indignation, Boudreaux says, "Well den, why did
you ax me if I'm Cajun, just 'cause I axed for Cajun sausage?"

The clerk replies, "Because you're at Home Depot."[/FONT]
Good one :hihi: Mey Joe, you like dat one han?:ezbill:
 
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gaminerie

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Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were sitting in Pierre's Bar across from the boat launch - an east wind is no good for fishing, but it's just fine for beer drinking.

Thibodeaux asked, "Boudreaux, do ya 'member back inna '80's, when we worked downa refinery?"

Boudreaux replied, "Yeah, dem was good times. I work in da maint'nance, an' you work da secur'ty. I made a lotta money dere."

Thibodeaux continued, "Dem was good times fer sure. But Boudreaux I gotta ax ya sometin. Ever day we was dere, jus before quittin time, you pushed a wheelbarrow full a trash out da gate and to da dump. Ever day I checked it out, you had pieces a' wood, hunks a' rusted iron, pieces a' wire, empty paint cans, dried-out paint brushes, busted lights, all kinda stuff - but nothin worth stealin.

"Now, I know ya Boudreaux, I know ya was stealin sometin. What was it?"

Boudreaux chuckled and said, "Wheelbarrows"
 
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Peet

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efil4stnias

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Boudreaux's wife goes into labor
Boudreaux calls the doctor and yells, "Doc! Doc! my wife Mathilda she be in labor and da contractions are only two minutes apart!"
The doctor axed, "Is this her first child?"
Boudreaux yells, "No, you idiot, this is her husband!"
 

efil4stnias

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Boudreaux lived across the bayou from Clarence, who Boudreaux did not like. There was no bridge or other easy way to cross the bayou so the two would argue by yelling across the bayou.
Boudreaux would often yell across the bayou to Clarence, "Clarence, if I had a way to cross dat bayou, I would come beat you up!".

The threats continued for many years.

One day the state built a bridge across the Bayou.

Soon after the bridge was built, Boudreaux's wife, Clotile, says "Boudreaux, you've been talking about going across dat bayou to beat up Clarence all dese years. Now that they have dat bridge, what are you waiting for?"

So Boudreaux decided it was time to go see Clarence, so he started walking down to the bridge.

Just as he was getting ready to cross the bridge, he looks up at the sign on the bridge, reads it, and goes back home.

When Boudreaux gets home, Clotile asks "Mais, Boudreaux, did you go beat up Clarence?" Boudreaux said, "Mais no Clotile, dat sign on dat bridge says 'Clearance 13 feet 3 inches'. Mais, Clotile, Clarence don't look dat big from across de bayou!"



Easily my all time favorite....
 

Jonesy77

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My contributions are all R-rated. :mad:
 

saintfan-n-alex

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so a man who is a newlywed starts to pack for his annual hunting trip, the wife after asking here he was going began to pack her own bag.

"honey" the mans says, "i dont think you will enjoy this", she says "im going with you" -
so he takes her out into the woods, helps her in her stand and tells her fire 3 shots if you need anything -

as soon as he gets to his stand he hears a shot, shortly 2 more shots - he walks to her stand only to see her aiming her gun at another man yelling "thats my deer, thats my deer" the other man says " ok lady just let me get my saddle off and you can have him"

- justin wilson
 

Joe OKC

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You gotta watch them cajuns. You know the items you think you lost in N.O. :hihi:
So you got my short term memory.. I can;t remember, I was drunk. ;)

Joe
 

gboudx

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On a tour of Louisiana, the Pope took a couple of days off his itinerary to visit a wildlife swamp area (Henderson) on an impromptu sightseeing trip. His 4X4 was along the shore when there was an enormous commotion heard from the middle of the swamp. The entourage rushed to see what was making the noise.
<o></o>
Upon approaching the scene, the Pope noticed a hapless man in the water wearing a USL jersey who was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot alligator. At that moment an airboat containing three men wearing LSU jerseys roared into view from around the point. Immediately, one of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into the alligator's ribs, immobilizing it instantly. The other two reached out, pulled the USL man from the water and using long clubs, beat the gator to death. They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious man into the boat along with the dead gator and prepared for a hasty retreat when they heard frantic shouting from the shore. It was the Pope summoning them to the beach. After they reached shore, the Pope praised them for the rescue and said, "I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I had heard that bitter hatred existed between LSU and USL, but now I have seen with my own eyes this is not true. I can see that your society is a truly enlightened example of explicit harmony and could serve as a model on which other states could follow".
He blessed them all and drove off. As he departed, the harpooner asked the others, "Who was that?"
"That," one answered, "was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom. "
<o></o>
"Well," the LSU' harpooner replied, "he don't know nothing about catching gators. Is the bait holding up okay or do we need to get another one?
 

GW93

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Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were sitting in Pierre's Bar across from the boat launch - an east wind is no good for fishing, but it's just fine for beer drinking.

Thibodeaux asked, "Boudreaux, do ya 'member back inna '80's, when we worked downa refinery?"

Boudreaux replied, "Yeah, dem was good times. I work in da maint'nance, an' you work da secur'ty. I made a lotta money dere."

Thibodeaux continued, "Dem was good times fer sure. But Boudreaux I gotta ax ya sometin. Ever day we was dere, jus before quittin time, you pushed a wheelbarrow full a trash out da gate and to da dump. Ever day I checked it out, you had pieces a' wood, hunks a' rusted iron, pieces a' wire, empty paint cans, dried-out paint brushes, busted lights, all kinda stuff - but nothin worth stealin.

"Now, I know ya Boudreaux, I know ya was stealin sometin. What was it?"

Boudreaux chuckled and said, "Wheelbarrows"
My accounting prof said that was happening for real at Avondale shipyard when he started keeping the books there.

I guess he's just a liar.

Or that story of his eventually morphed into a coonass joke.
 

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