The story of Breesus. (cause I'm tired and delirious...) (1 Viewer)

AceTW

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The story of Breesus. (updated for week 11)

And on the Ist day of the month of XI, year Nineteen Hundred and Sixty Six, God made a group he called "The Saints". He looked down upon his creation, and saw it was good. He had created many more before and was not satisfied.

Those groups were prideful, boastful and sometimes overly violent. The Saints He created with modesty, a calm demeanor and a touch of class. The Saints made God happy and He smiled whenever they took to the field of the games and played with a meekness that the others could not match. They were kind and not boastful as were all the rest with their trophys and "superstars".

And so, God watched over his finest creation and sometimes gave them perks among the many years that they played their games. Once He gave them several large, unwieldy defensive individuals that took to the game with fervor, smashing and breaking those of other groups without mercy. Fearing the worst..."Oh, this we cannot have." he thought. "My favorite Saints cannot be made to become tainted like the rest."

And so He made sure that they had an offense that could not bring them a trophy, and therefore kept them meek.

Let us not forget the great profits of the Old Testament in the Land of Poydras and Claiborne

The Cajun Cannonite Bobby of the Hebert clan

The Keepers of the Domed Temple Sanctuary
Patrick of Swillingham
Ricky Son of Jack
Vaughn Son of John
The Fallen Warrior Samuel Mills

and remember the Minor Prophets

Eric "the Swift" Martin
Dalton Runner of Hilliard
The Oracle of Talent Priest Finks

and Hokie the Gajan
And while the Saints were in their troubling time, following the departure of the Elder Mora, a marked child had a vision he would lead. The winds bore him from the Tribe of Texas to the land of the Indiana people and then to the place of the water and the heat in the western lands.

Young Breesus learned and showed great promise, but most of all the heart of a lion. That valiant way led to a grave injury of the sword that was his throwing arm, and young Breesus did not know if he would ever lead.

In a similar malaise were the Saints having been plagued with false prophets promising the path of greatness. First there was the mustachioed gambler that wagered all of his weapons on a dreadlocked bride. Then there was Hazlett the Red, who, while fomenting a measure of greatness, could not divest himself of the mentally challenged knight to bring the Saints to Lombardi's far shore.

A final blackness descended upon the Bayou Land of the Saints with a storm to end all storms, and Ceasar's desires to move the tribe west. The epic of the Saints did not end there, thankfully, as the Bishop Payton assumed control of the parish. And with him, a miraculously healed Breesus.

More time passed. Decades in human years, and God noticed something that was not pleasing Him. His favorites, the kind, good hearted Saints, were often laughed at, ridiculed and thought poorly of throughout the world. His finest creation, the object of ridicule! "It's time to change all this. My children want violence on defense, and prolific scoring on offense. I am generally opposed, but it appears that my own pride needs to be put aside just this once." He called upon his second Son, and said unto Him...

"Breesus, you need to go to Earth and join this group I call The Saints. I have anointed You with the skill to cause unheralded migraine headaches to defensive backs and pass rushers, and hit targets with a thrown projectile 10 out of 10 times."
"Wonderful Father!" Breesus replied "But once I get to Earth, how will I know where to go?" God responded "I'm also sending a Burning Bush to help You in your endeavor. He will help You in more ways than My children on Earth can understand. Find his beacon and You will have arrived." Breesus just smiled. "Is there anything else You wish of Me Father?"

"Yes" spoke God. "I want You to make sure that My Saints do not become boastful and prideful. Keep them grounded and kind. Just give them a passing attack such as Earth has never known, and don't forget to use the Burning Bush whenever You can. The rest will take care of itself. Be forewarned though, weekly I will send foes to descend upon You and your group and test your mettle. Some, will not be easy. Be prepared."
"I will do as You ask, Father." Breesus said, and made his journey to Earth to join God's favorites, The Saints.

Next, He called upon a trusted general, one that had watched over and trained many a warring group. ""Gregg!" He called. "Come before Me at once! I have a great quest for you!" And the Gregg came before God, asking what it was He needed of him. "Show Me what it is that you teach, to make the warriors strong and feared." And the Gregg brought forth a fine athletic youth and several more experienced warriors and had them show God what he had taught them. One would throw a javelin at his teammate, and another would grab it out of the air before it got there. Yet another would run with the javelin through the group of others, and they would slap at it until it fell from his hands.

With tears in His eyes, God said, "Lo, it has been many, many decades since My wonderful Saints have known such things. They have struggled and suffered greatly due to my pride.
Go Gregg. Go and teach them everything! Bring the 3 best of this group with you and have them teach also." "At once!" replied the Gregg as he grabbed up his charges and headed for the Saints to begin training.

And as Breesus chose his disciples, he searched the mountains for an extra goliath to help protect his breatheren. He asked his father for this secret being. He sent forth a rod down to the Earth from the Heavens above. Breesus grabbethed thy rod and slammed it upon the ground of the Earth, and the Earth opened up and there became a young protector. Breesus sat in thought, and the Burning Bush smiled and Breesus said, '' His name shall be BushRod ''. And Bushrod slammed Lions across the field and he saw that this was good.
As the travels of Breesus continued, he came upon a young man who no one wanted. He came from a small province, much like Breesus. Breesus noticed the young man had a quiet fire in his eyes he had not seen in his travels.
Breesus tested him, asking him to run into a field of Falcons and catch stones that fell from the North star. The young man's eyes lit up like blistered coal, and he flew into the brace of Falcons with a vengeance. One, two, three four five stones he plucked from the air while swatting Falcons to the earth on his left and his right, and Breesus was stunned by this display of ability.
Breesus smiled upon the young man, telling him. "You are a grand receiver, henceforth you will be by my side during our games. I shall call you... "Coalstun". When Breesus relayed the new player's name to the phonetically challenged record keepers of the games, they simply misspelled it as "Colston".
As a first test, God sent down upon young Breesus and the Saints a pride of hungry Lions. These Lions had not fed for quite some time and were ravenous. Breesus calmly led his Saints onto the field of battle and dispatched these hungry Lions without fear, his small leathery javelins flew the field without mercy, piercing the Lions hearts every time they landed. But Breesus was not the only player to make an impact this day.
Another fine Saint made an appearance upon the field of battle. He was a runner, not a thrower of javelins. At the start of the games, God rang out great peals from his heavenly bell towers to announce this new Saint's arrival. Breesus looked up towards the Heavens with a grin, then turned to the new arrival saying, "You have been announced in a grand way. You are from this day forward, known as "Bell". He handed Bell a javelin, pointed towards the Lions and said... "Run." And Bell ran. And ran, and ran and ran until he could run no more, but it was enough. The Lions slunk from the field, beaten and bruised, and still hungry.

In the second test, God instructed a swarm of Eagles to assault the Saints, and assault they did! While Breesus remained calm and focused, throwing his javelin down the field knocking many Eagles from the sky, the Eagles produced their own javelin thrower. A young brash Eagle named "Kolb". He threw mightily and for many cubits but alas, he was no match for the Saints defensive javelin catchers. At key points in the match, the Saints collected Kolbs javelins and rammed them back into the hearts of the flying green goliaths, dropping them from the sky. The Eagles leader, the One of the Clan McNabb could only watch, as his body was broken and bruised and he could not throw javelins this day. And so, the great green Eagles were sent back to their nest in defeat. "All Hail the Saints!" the fans cried!

In the third test, God instructed the Saints to travel to the land of the mighty Buffalo in the far north. As a test of strength and fortitude, the almighty gave the Bills a fierce pass rush against Breesus unseen in previous contests. After fighting tooth and nail to hurl the javelins against the wild beasts, the bishop Payton came upon Breesus and proclaimed, "you have managed the contest with great valor. I will now unleash the workhorse named Pierre Thomas to seal the victory". And victory came swift - the workhorse pranced quicker than any Bill on that day. After a second long dash, he unleashed the dagger to vanquish the beaten Buffalo! Bishop Payton and Breesus gleamed at the workhorse's effort and saw that this was good. They feasted on Buffalo wings well into the eve in celebration..
As a fourth test, God decided to put some pressure on His Saints to see how they held up. On this Sabbath, He sent down a force of screaming, hard nosed metal sheathed Jets in the Saints biggest test of the season so far. These Jets had a defensive unit that was thought of as second to none and they brought everything they had at the fast moving Saints and almost kept them from scoring the points necessary to win the contest. However, as a surprise to the Jets themselves the Saints own defense stood tall and laid down some serious hurt upon the Jets and their pretty if not somewhat foppish quarterback. They harassed and harangued him all afternoon causing him to make many mistakes which the Saints and their sharp defense capitalized on. One defensive player was more sharp than the rest, and created many opportunities for the Saints. Breesus walked up to him, clapped him on the shoulder and named him "Sharper".
In the end, the Saints stood as winners of the contest, and the Rex of the Jets left the field with his head hung low.

And on the the fifth week, God saw that the people of the land were happy and grateful for bestowing his Son Breesus upon them. So for their faithfulness to the ministry of Breesus he gave them the Bi-Sabbath. He commanded that this bi-sabbath is to be used as a time for reflection and healing.

God commanded Breesus to also rest during this bi-sabbath, for God gave him a vision of intense battles against foes both familiar and unfamiliar. In his first vision God showed Breesus his predecessor the Great Prophet Archie of the Manning Clan. God looked upon Archie and saw that he was good, and blessed the Saints with his presence. But the Old Oracles of Talent did nothing to help Archie battle the foes of the old Western Territory, so he aged and wilted in battle....for this the Old Oracles exiled him to the Land of 10,000 Lakes. For this exile God cursed the Saints and made a covenant with Archie. He told Archie that he will bless his loins to bring forth 2 sons, and he shall name them Peyton and Eli, and his sons will strike fear in the hearts of all in the land. And also for his faithfulness these sons shall be raised in the land of the Saints, and the elder son Peyton will bruise the head of the Saints with the force of a Colt, and he shall do this 41 times. And so it came to pass.
After giving his favorite Saints a Sabbath off, God sent his 5th test.
A tribe of mighty blue Giants from the north. These Giants were formidable, you could just ask their fans and they would sing the praises of their heros. With a highly rated defensive unit and a serviceable offense, this was to be athe real test for Breesus and the Saints. Entering the games, Breesus immediately took his Saints down the field and scored, shocking the Giants and their fans into silence. Then, he did it again. And again. And AGAIN. Soon these mighty blue Giants were looking more like insignificant ants. Breesus laughed at God's folly at sending what he figured to be a "real" test down to the Southern Dome. Breesus threw his javelins at will, striking down these "giants" in short order. At the end of the Saints grand feast Breesus and his Saints gave the giants 40 burgers to take with them on their trip back up North, so they wouldn't starve on the way.

The following Sabbath, God instructed Breesus to go to the southernmost peninsula and game with a group of fierce fishes. "Fishes?" Breesus was incredulous at this request, but God only smiled and bade him go south. For the first half of the games, these fishes proved themselves worthy indeed as they threw everything they had at their mighty foes, causing the Saints to fall far behind in scoring. Right before the middle break-time, Breesus spoke with the coach of the Saints. "Let me take the javelin in for the score. I can. I will. They shall NOT deny me!" And the Grand Payton finally relented and said "Go forth my general. Go forth and bring me back some filets." And so Breesus did. He passed the javelin over the goal line in his own hands, as he would do if he were serving bread to the grand table of the apostles. The Saints took their break at the half way point, then came back out to play the second half with a renewed intensity on their brows. This half of the game would be very different than the first, with Breesus, Bell, Vilma and Sharper all giving it their all to even up the score.
And even it up they did. And surpassed their host fish they did also in fine fashion! By the time the game had ended, the Saints were still unbeaten and the fish had swam back out to sea to hang their heads in defeat.

Another week passed, and this time a flock of Falcons swooped onto the field of battle. With sharp talons and razor beaks they began to pick apart the Saints with grand precision. Through 1 quarter of battle it appeared as though these mighty Falcons could defeat the Saints and give them a taste of the vile putrid medicine they had been dishing out all season thus far. But then, the Grand Vizier Payton and Breesus came up with a plan, and in the 2nd quarter put it into play. They set "the little nightmare" loose on the Falcons and he punished them heavily for their gall at scoring up ahead of the Saints. Breesus began passing his javelins around at will, crushing many a Falcon's heart in the process. By the time the battle had ended, the Saints had marched into the Falcon's end zone many times and the battle was won. All Hail the Saints! Undefeated!

In the week of 9, season of 2009, God saw that the Saints were getting a little carried away with themselves. The fans were talking "Champions!" and God decided to put a little scare into them to calm this crazy talk. So he sent a group of mean, ornery Panthers to the Saint's field to test them. These Panthers took to the field and immediately set about scoring heavily against the hapless Saints. "All is LOST!" cried some of the fans. "Oh no, we suck again!" cried others. And God was pleased that those had been brought down to earth, but then he saw even more and these were smirking and smiling. "What's this?" thought God. "Why do these fans sit there and not lose their minds at this thrashing of their team?" He looked inside and found something astonishing. These fans weren't worried at all. Almost to a person, they were thinking "Just wait till halftime." So He decided to sit back and wait to see what it was these mortals understood that had escaped him.
And sure enough, after the halftime marker, the Saints regained the field and set about dismantling these fierce Panther warriors.
They ran them over, passed javelins over their heads and scored many times on the way to a well fought victory. God was astonished at this display of vim and vigor after a full half of battle that surely should have brought them to their limits. He smiled anyway, knowing that the scare had produced good results. The Saints would practice heavily and get even better at this game of 'football', and the next test he sent would likely fall harder than all the rest.

Another Sabbath came to pass, and Breesus took his team to a land in the north known to be filled with large boisterous Rams. These Rams had not fared well throughout this season, but Breesus was appraised of their unusual might when facing the Saints. The team steeled themselves against the coming onslaught and met the Rams head on and with equal force. These Rams were no pushovers and made Breesus and his Saints work for every inch of field they covered. Throughout the contest the Rams fought tooth and horn for the points to beat the thus far unbeaten Saints, up until the very last play, when the leader of the Rams heaved a mighty javelin down-field in a last desperate effort to overtake the Saints. It was not meant to be this day though, and Breesus and the Saints marched off the field of battle with yet another win.

In the week of 11, season of 2009, Breesus and the Saints traveled far south onto the peninsula at the bottom of the continent to do battle with a band of marauders from the sea. The Saints were far better prepared for this skirmish, after having the last 2 come down to the wire and entered the game with fury in their eyes. Their first possession showed signs of life, but the Buccaneers also played with fervor. After giving the possession over to the hated Bucs, the Saints allowed them to make one trek down the field to score. This development made the Bucs and their kiniptik fanbase go wild, now thinking that they were able to play right alongside Breesus and his merry Saints. The truth, however, was far from what they perceived. The Saints re-took the field, and commenced to dismantling the Bucs piece by flagging piece. By the time the contest was over, Breesus and krewe had racked up 38 unanswered points, while the hated Bucs were held to less yardage throughout the rest of the game than they had amassed on their very first possession.
After the destruction of Tampa's peninsula. Breesus kneels down with his band of brothers and they hang they're heads in prayer. For now one of they're biggest challenges lie ahead. An army of arrogant pillagers and liars shall come their way. They have fooled many, and stolen from many they have spied upon. But Breesus swears by the spear of his helmet, he won't be fooled easily. So they prepare....
On the 6th day of the 11th month, Breesus and his disciples traveled north to the chilled lands of <st1:state w:st="on"><st1>Washington</st1></st1:state>, home to warriors of the redskin. They had been tested in battle and proved themselves worthy in many a competition but had little to show of their efforts. Like Breesus they were not to be taken lightly but their record was not indicative of their potential and had been stated thusly over and over by the Bishop Payton. On this day of stinging cold air induced atmosphere ringing loud with the chants of the home teams followers, it would prove to be the most pivotal battle yet that Breesus had to face. One even greater than the battle at the shores of Miami, for today the redskins fought hard as they had done all year and kept Breesus within distance but not into victory as he had be accustomed to.
Or so it would seem!
With a moment to hang Breesus from the golden cross that he bears so heavily, a tremendous event took place instead. A fleeting javelin hurled from the foot of the would be executioner found refuge outside the confines of it's destination thusly negating the chance that Breesus and his Saints would not see glorious victory this day. When hope lost itself upon the shoulders of the mighty gladiators from the <st1><st1>land</st1> of <st1>Orleans</st1></st1>, victory seemingly snatched from their hands, a record of greatness forever tarnished by one, Breesus went to them and said "This day is not over! We have fought and fought like we have done in the past and we will not give up now. We are <st1:city w:st="on"><st1>New Orleans</st1></st1:city>! We must FINISH!"
And with great valor and vigor Breesus sent forth the young man Meachem from the tribe of Tennessee who accepted his duty as he had proven earlier that he to could find a way to make a difference when it was needed the most. With time in hand to seal this march and send these retched redskins back into their dismal peril of failure, Breesus grounded himself in the faith of the tribe of the black and gold and hurled a precisely placed javelin into young Robert's hands while he ran swiftly into the home of the defenders. Having been tested all day long and uncharacteristically giving up so many arpents of land to the defenders, Jonathan from the tribe of Vilma would come to aide in the destruction of the skins, giving Breesus a shortened field of battle as he snatched the defenders javelin from the sky all but sealing victory into the records for his mighty Saints.
With victory in sight the Bishop Payton sent in his young colt of a kicker who had not competed at all in battle of this year. Faith led Payton to believe that young Hartley could achieve such a goal of many cubits as to send his javelin through these posts as the defenders had failed to do. But such a tethered battle ground proved too difficult for young Hartley as he fell prey to the muddied conditions sending his javelin straight but not being able to achieve the distance needed to win the competition.
It was then that Breesus would see his men into extended time but patiently he would have to wait as the redskins would receive first in the final quarter. These redskins could not believe what was happening. They had seen this before but not of such magnitude. But this was no ordinary team they faced today. These were the Saints of Orleans, who led by the mighty Breesus passed and marched ferociously towards the defenders goal only after sending their defender McAlister to thwart their pass attempt causing their runner to relinquish the rock.
Once again Hartley marched onto the field confident, stoic and ready to end this war once and for all and with a swift kick it was done. Breesus had led his men to unheard of greatness in the south as they were true champions of their land and the other southern tribes accompanied within their division. Time stood still as the bitterness of defeat crept deeper into the souls of the redskins like salt into open wounds. Breesus himself still having not known the taste of this "defeat" told his men that they still have their best yet to come. That they have not yet peaked and the road to greatness will only become tougher with each victory and travel. And travel they will, into the land of their longtime nemesis, those feathered foes from the <st1><st1>land</st1> of <st1>Atlanta</st1></st1>…
And they were tested in the land of the Redskin. Violently, the outmanned Redskins fought, bringing fourth their best efforts of their time. The weather was rugged and cold, and the battle was fought long and hard.

The Redskins had thought they had finally brought down the mighty Saints, but their strength was no more, as their rock socker gave in to the pressure.

Breesus stood on the side and said with furious eyes, '' Meachem, I choose you. Find a way through their line of defense, and I will find you. Lets show them why we are New Orleans! Why this is our time, why we have had ENOUGH! ''

And Breesus destroyed their line of defense within 1 minute.

The gods gave the Redskins more time as a reward of valiance. But they gave in. And a old but new Saint emerged, and the Saints win yet another battle, in another way, in another city.

Breesus stood in front of the messengers and said. '' I believe in fate, I believe in what goes around comes around. ''

So it was said.


And in the end, five championships later, Breesus would never tell of his time in the wilderness. He would only, graciously, thank Bishop Payton, his fellow crusaders and the people of the Tribe of the Fleur de Lis.
 
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AceTW

AceTW

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I'm up again. Couldn't sleep all that much knowing my team is gonna be doin their thing today. I get really loopy when I'm tired, and tend to write.... "stuff". The first line up there just popped into my head as I was reading posts on SR, and the rest just followed along so I figured I'd share. Glad everyone liked it. :)
 

Dr Brees

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I'm up again. Couldn't sleep all that much knowing my team is gonna be doin their thing today. I get really loopy when I'm tired, and tend to write.... "stuff". The first line up there just popped into my head as I was reading posts on SR, and the rest just followed along so I figured I'd share. Glad everyone liked it. :)
Not everyone did
 

CaliSaint4Life

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I'm up again. Couldn't sleep all that much knowing my team is gonna be doin their thing today. I get really loopy when I'm tired, and tend to write.... "stuff". The first line up there just popped into my head as I was reading posts on SR, and the rest just followed along so I figured I'd share. Glad everyone liked it. :)
Same here man. I woke up at 6:00 AM (PST) because I can't sleep during gameday. Game starts in 4 hours. :rant:
 

JGunn

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And on the Ist day of the month of XI, year Nineteen Hundred and Sixty Six, God made a group he called "The Saints". He looked down upon his creation, and saw it was good. He had created many more before and was not satisfied.

Those groups were prideful, boastful and sometimes overly violent. The Saints He created with modesty, a calm demeanor and a touch of class. The Saints made God happy and He smiled whenever they took to the field of the games and played with a meekness that the others could not match. They were kind and not boastful as were all the rest with their trophys and "superstars".

And so, God watched over his finest creation and sometimes gave them perks among the many years that they played their games. Once He gave them several large, unwieldy defensive individuals that took to the game with fervor, smashing and breaking those of other groups without mercy. Fearing the worst..."Oh, this we cannot have." he thought. "My favorite Saints cannot be made to become tainted like the rest."

And so He made sure that they had an offense that could not bring them a trophy, and therefore kept them meek.
More time passed. Decades in human years, and God noticed something that was not pleasing Him. His favorites, the kind, good hearted Saints, were often laughed at, ridiculed and thought poorly of throughout the world. His finest creation, the object of ridicule! "It's time to change all this. My children want violence on defense, and prolific scoring on offense. I am generally opposed, but it appears that my own pride needs to be put aside just this once." He called upon his second Son, and said unto Him...

"Breesus, you need to go to Earth and join this group I call The Saints. I have anointed you with the skill to cause unheralded migraine headaches to defensive backs and pass rushers, and hit targets with a thrown projectile 10 out of 10 times."
"Wonderful Father!" Breesus replied "But once I get to Earth, how will I know where to go?" God responded "I'm also sending a Burning Bush to help you in your endeavor. He will help you in more ways than My children on Earth can understand. Find his beacon and you will have arrived." Breesus just smiled. "Is there anything else you wish of Me Father?"

"Yes" spoke God. "I want you to make sure that my Saints do not become boastful and prideful. Keep them grounded and kind. Just give them a passing attack such as Earth has never known, and don't forget to use the Burning Bush whenever you can. The rest will take care of itself."
"I will do as You ask, Father." Breesus said, and made his journey to Earth to join God's favorites, The Saints.
Dude, that was awesome! The burning Bush part ruled! This is why I like it here. If I go up to my friends and say some stuff like that I get a blank look. AWESOME
 

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I'm gonna try to add something lol.

And as Breesus chose his disciples, he searched the mountains for an extra goliath to help protect his breatheren. He asked his father for this secret being. He sent forth a rod down to the Earth from the Heavens above. Breesus grabbethed thy rod and slammed it upon the ground of the Earth, and the Earth opened up and there became a young protector. Breesus sat in thought, and the Burning Bush smiled and Breesus said, '' His name shall be BushRod ''. And Bushrod slammed Lions across the feild and he saw that this was good.
 

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