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The story of Breesus. (updated for week 11)
And on the Ist day of the month of XI, year Nineteen Hundred and Sixty Six, God made a group he called "The Saints". He looked down upon his creation, and saw it was good. He had created many more before and was not satisfied.
Those groups were prideful, boastful and sometimes overly violent. The Saints He created with modesty, a calm demeanor and a touch of class. The Saints made God happy and He smiled whenever they took to the field of the games and played with a meekness that the others could not match. They were kind and not boastful as were all the rest with their trophys and "superstars".
And so, God watched over his finest creation and sometimes gave them perks among the many years that they played their games. Once He gave them several large, unwieldy defensive individuals that took to the game with fervor, smashing and breaking those of other groups without mercy. Fearing the worst..."Oh, this we cannot have." he thought. "My favorite Saints cannot be made to become tainted like the rest."
And so He made sure that they had an offense that could not bring them a trophy, and therefore kept them meek.
More time passed. Decades in human years, and God noticed something that was not pleasing Him. His favorites, the kind, good hearted Saints, were often laughed at, ridiculed and thought poorly of throughout the world. His finest creation, the object of ridicule! "It's time to change all this. My children want violence on defense, and prolific scoring on offense. I am generally opposed, but it appears that my own pride needs to be put aside just this once." He called upon his second Son, and said unto Him...
"Breesus, you need to go to Earth and join this group I call The Saints. I have anointed You with the skill to cause unheralded migraine headaches to defensive backs and pass rushers, and hit targets with a thrown projectile 10 out of 10 times."
"Wonderful Father!" Breesus replied "But once I get to Earth, how will I know where to go?" God responded "I'm also sending a Burning Bush to help You in your endeavor. He will help You in more ways than My children on Earth can understand. Find his beacon and You will have arrived." Breesus just smiled. "Is there anything else You wish of Me Father?"
"Yes" spoke God. "I want You to make sure that My Saints do not become boastful and prideful. Keep them grounded and kind. Just give them a passing attack such as Earth has never known, and don't forget to use the Burning Bush whenever You can. The rest will take care of itself. Be forewarned though, weekly I will send foes to descend upon You and your group and test your mettle. Some, will not be easy. Be prepared."
"I will do as You ask, Father." Breesus said, and made his journey to Earth to join God's favorites, The Saints.
Next, He called upon a trusted general, one that had watched over and trained many a warring group. ""Gregg!" He called. "Come before Me at once! I have a great quest for you!" And the Gregg came before God, asking what it was He needed of him. "Show Me what it is that you teach, to make the warriors strong and feared." And the Gregg brought forth a fine athletic youth and several more experienced warriors and had them show God what he had taught them. One would throw a javelin at his teammate, and another would grab it out of the air before it got there. Yet another would run with the javelin through the group of others, and they would slap at it until it fell from his hands.
With tears in His eyes, God said, "Lo, it has been many, many decades since My wonderful Saints have known such things. They have struggled and suffered greatly due to my pride.
Go Gregg. Go and teach them everything! Bring the 3 best of this group with you and have them teach also." "At once!" replied the Gregg as he grabbed up his charges and headed for the Saints to begin training.
As a first test, God sent down upon young Breesus and the Saints a pride of hungry Lions. These Lions had not fed for quite some time and were ravenous. Breesus calmly led his Saints onto the field of battle and dispatched these hungry Lions without fear, his small leathery javelins flew the field without mercy, piercing the Lions hearts every time they landed. But Breesus was not the only player to make an impact this day.
Another fine Saint made an appearance upon the field of battle. He was a runner, not a thrower of javelins. At the start of the games, God rang out great peals from his heavenly bell towers to announce this new Saint's arrival. Breesus looked up towards the Heavens with a grin, then turned to the new arrival saying, "You have been announced in a grand way. You are from this day forward, known as "Bell". He handed Bell a javelin, pointed towards the Lions and said... "Run." And Bell ran. And ran, and ran and ran until he could run no more, but it was enough. The Lions slunk from the field, beaten and bruised, and still hungry.
In the second test, God instructed a swarm of Eagles to assault the Saints, and assault they did! While Breesus remained calm and focused, throwing his javelin down the field knocking many Eagles from the sky, the Eagles produced their own javelin thrower. A young brash Eagle named "Kolb". He threw mightily and for many cubits but alas, he was no match for the Saints defensive javelin catchers. At key points in the match, the Saints collected Kolbs javelins and rammed them back into the hearts of the flying green goliaths, dropping them from the sky. The Eagles leader, the One of the Clan McNabb could only watch, as his body was broken and bruised and he could not throw javelins this day. And so, the great green Eagles were sent back to their nest in defeat. "All Hail the Saints!" the fans cried!
As a fourth test, God decided to put some pressure on His Saints to see how they held up. On this Sabbath, He sent down a force of screaming, hard nosed metal sheathed Jets in the Saints biggest test of the season so far. These Jets had a defensive unit that was thought of as second to none and they brought everything they had at the fast moving Saints and almost kept them from scoring the points necessary to win the contest. However, as a surprise to the Jets themselves the Saints own defense stood tall and laid down some serious hurt upon the Jets and their pretty if not somewhat foppish quarterback. They harassed and harangued him all afternoon causing him to make many mistakes which the Saints and their sharp defense capitalized on. One defensive player was more sharp than the rest, and created many opportunities for the Saints. Breesus walked up to him, clapped him on the shoulder and named him "Sharper".
In the end, the Saints stood as winners of the contest, and the Rex of the Jets left the field with his head hung low.
After giving his favorite Saints a Sabbath off, God sent his 5th test.
A tribe of mighty blue Giants from the north. These Giants were formidable, you could just ask their fans and they would sing the praises of their heros. With a highly rated defensive unit and a serviceable offense, this was to be athe real test for Breesus and the Saints. Entering the games, Breesus immediately took his Saints down the field and scored, shocking the Giants and their fans into silence. Then, he did it again. And again. And AGAIN. Soon these mighty blue Giants were looking more like insignificant ants. Breesus laughed at God's folly at sending what he figured to be a "real" test down to the Southern Dome. Breesus threw his javelins at will, striking down these "giants" in short order. At the end of the Saints grand feast Breesus and his Saints gave the giants 40 burgers to take with them on their trip back up North, so they wouldn't starve on the way.
The following Sabbath, God instructed Breesus to go to the southernmost peninsula and game with a group of fierce fishes. "Fishes?" Breesus was incredulous at this request, but God only smiled and bade him go south. For the first half of the games, these fishes proved themselves worthy indeed as they threw everything they had at their mighty foes, causing the Saints to fall far behind in scoring. Right before the middle break-time, Breesus spoke with the coach of the Saints. "Let me take the javelin in for the score. I can. I will. They shall NOT deny me!" And the Grand Payton finally relented and said "Go forth my general. Go forth and bring me back some filets." And so Breesus did. He passed the javelin over the goal line in his own hands, as he would do if he were serving bread to the grand table of the apostles. The Saints took their break at the half way point, then came back out to play the second half with a renewed intensity on their brows. This half of the game would be very different than the first, with Breesus, Bell, Vilma and Sharper all giving it their all to even up the score.
And even it up they did. And surpassed their host fish they did also in fine fashion! By the time the game had ended, the Saints were still unbeaten and the fish had swam back out to sea to hang their heads in defeat.
Another week passed, and this time a flock of Falcons swooped onto the field of battle. With sharp talons and razor beaks they began to pick apart the Saints with grand precision. Through 1 quarter of battle it appeared as though these mighty Falcons could defeat the Saints and give them a taste of the vile putrid medicine they had been dishing out all season thus far. But then, the Grand Vizier Payton and Breesus came up with a plan, and in the 2nd quarter put it into play. They set "the little nightmare" loose on the Falcons and he punished them heavily for their gall at scoring up ahead of the Saints. Breesus began passing his javelins around at will, crushing many a Falcon's heart in the process. By the time the battle had ended, the Saints had marched into the Falcon's end zone many times and the battle was won. All Hail the Saints! Undefeated!
In the week of 9, season of 2009, God saw that the Saints were getting a little carried away with themselves. The fans were talking "Champions!" and God decided to put a little scare into them to calm this crazy talk. So he sent a group of mean, ornery Panthers to the Saint's field to test them. These Panthers took to the field and immediately set about scoring heavily against the hapless Saints. "All is LOST!" cried some of the fans. "Oh no, we suck again!" cried others. And God was pleased that those had been brought down to earth, but then he saw even more and these were smirking and smiling. "What's this?" thought God. "Why do these fans sit there and not lose their minds at this thrashing of their team?" He looked inside and found something astonishing. These fans weren't worried at all. Almost to a person, they were thinking "Just wait till halftime." So He decided to sit back and wait to see what it was these mortals understood that had escaped him.
And sure enough, after the halftime marker, the Saints regained the field and set about dismantling these fierce Panther warriors.
They ran them over, passed javelins over their heads and scored many times on the way to a well fought victory. God was astonished at this display of vim and vigor after a full half of battle that surely should have brought them to their limits. He smiled anyway, knowing that the scare had produced good results. The Saints would practice heavily and get even better at this game of 'football', and the next test he sent would likely fall harder than all the rest.
Another Sabbath came to pass, and Breesus took his team to a land in the north known to be filled with large boisterous Rams. These Rams had not fared well throughout this season, but Breesus was appraised of their unusual might when facing the Saints. The team steeled themselves against the coming onslaught and met the Rams head on and with equal force. These Rams were no pushovers and made Breesus and his Saints work for every inch of field they covered. Throughout the contest the Rams fought tooth and horn for the points to beat the thus far unbeaten Saints, up until the very last play, when the leader of the Rams heaved a mighty javelin down-field in a last desperate effort to overtake the Saints. It was not meant to be this day though, and Breesus and the Saints marched off the field of battle with yet another win.
In the week of 11, season of 2009, Breesus and the Saints traveled far south onto the peninsula at the bottom of the continent to do battle with a band of marauders from the sea. The Saints were far better prepared for this skirmish, after having the last 2 come down to the wire and entered the game with fury in their eyes. Their first possession showed signs of life, but the Buccaneers also played with fervor. After giving the possession over to the hated Bucs, the Saints allowed them to make one trek down the field to score. This development made the Bucs and their kiniptik fanbase go wild, now thinking that they were able to play right alongside Breesus and his merry Saints. The truth, however, was far from what they perceived. The Saints re-took the field, and commenced to dismantling the Bucs piece by flagging piece. By the time the contest was over, Breesus and krewe had racked up 38 unanswered points, while the hated Bucs were held to less yardage throughout the rest of the game than they had amassed on their very first possession.
And on the Ist day of the month of XI, year Nineteen Hundred and Sixty Six, God made a group he called "The Saints". He looked down upon his creation, and saw it was good. He had created many more before and was not satisfied.
Those groups were prideful, boastful and sometimes overly violent. The Saints He created with modesty, a calm demeanor and a touch of class. The Saints made God happy and He smiled whenever they took to the field of the games and played with a meekness that the others could not match. They were kind and not boastful as were all the rest with their trophys and "superstars".
And so, God watched over his finest creation and sometimes gave them perks among the many years that they played their games. Once He gave them several large, unwieldy defensive individuals that took to the game with fervor, smashing and breaking those of other groups without mercy. Fearing the worst..."Oh, this we cannot have." he thought. "My favorite Saints cannot be made to become tainted like the rest."
And so He made sure that they had an offense that could not bring them a trophy, and therefore kept them meek.
More time passed. Decades in human years, and God noticed something that was not pleasing Him. His favorites, the kind, good hearted Saints, were often laughed at, ridiculed and thought poorly of throughout the world. His finest creation, the object of ridicule! "It's time to change all this. My children want violence on defense, and prolific scoring on offense. I am generally opposed, but it appears that my own pride needs to be put aside just this once." He called upon his second Son, and said unto Him...
"Breesus, you need to go to Earth and join this group I call The Saints. I have anointed You with the skill to cause unheralded migraine headaches to defensive backs and pass rushers, and hit targets with a thrown projectile 10 out of 10 times."
"Wonderful Father!" Breesus replied "But once I get to Earth, how will I know where to go?" God responded "I'm also sending a Burning Bush to help You in your endeavor. He will help You in more ways than My children on Earth can understand. Find his beacon and You will have arrived." Breesus just smiled. "Is there anything else You wish of Me Father?"
"Yes" spoke God. "I want You to make sure that My Saints do not become boastful and prideful. Keep them grounded and kind. Just give them a passing attack such as Earth has never known, and don't forget to use the Burning Bush whenever You can. The rest will take care of itself. Be forewarned though, weekly I will send foes to descend upon You and your group and test your mettle. Some, will not be easy. Be prepared."
"I will do as You ask, Father." Breesus said, and made his journey to Earth to join God's favorites, The Saints.
Next, He called upon a trusted general, one that had watched over and trained many a warring group. ""Gregg!" He called. "Come before Me at once! I have a great quest for you!" And the Gregg came before God, asking what it was He needed of him. "Show Me what it is that you teach, to make the warriors strong and feared." And the Gregg brought forth a fine athletic youth and several more experienced warriors and had them show God what he had taught them. One would throw a javelin at his teammate, and another would grab it out of the air before it got there. Yet another would run with the javelin through the group of others, and they would slap at it until it fell from his hands.
With tears in His eyes, God said, "Lo, it has been many, many decades since My wonderful Saints have known such things. They have struggled and suffered greatly due to my pride.
Go Gregg. Go and teach them everything! Bring the 3 best of this group with you and have them teach also." "At once!" replied the Gregg as he grabbed up his charges and headed for the Saints to begin training.
As a first test, God sent down upon young Breesus and the Saints a pride of hungry Lions. These Lions had not fed for quite some time and were ravenous. Breesus calmly led his Saints onto the field of battle and dispatched these hungry Lions without fear, his small leathery javelins flew the field without mercy, piercing the Lions hearts every time they landed. But Breesus was not the only player to make an impact this day.
Another fine Saint made an appearance upon the field of battle. He was a runner, not a thrower of javelins. At the start of the games, God rang out great peals from his heavenly bell towers to announce this new Saint's arrival. Breesus looked up towards the Heavens with a grin, then turned to the new arrival saying, "You have been announced in a grand way. You are from this day forward, known as "Bell". He handed Bell a javelin, pointed towards the Lions and said... "Run." And Bell ran. And ran, and ran and ran until he could run no more, but it was enough. The Lions slunk from the field, beaten and bruised, and still hungry.
In the second test, God instructed a swarm of Eagles to assault the Saints, and assault they did! While Breesus remained calm and focused, throwing his javelin down the field knocking many Eagles from the sky, the Eagles produced their own javelin thrower. A young brash Eagle named "Kolb". He threw mightily and for many cubits but alas, he was no match for the Saints defensive javelin catchers. At key points in the match, the Saints collected Kolbs javelins and rammed them back into the hearts of the flying green goliaths, dropping them from the sky. The Eagles leader, the One of the Clan McNabb could only watch, as his body was broken and bruised and he could not throw javelins this day. And so, the great green Eagles were sent back to their nest in defeat. "All Hail the Saints!" the fans cried!
As a fourth test, God decided to put some pressure on His Saints to see how they held up. On this Sabbath, He sent down a force of screaming, hard nosed metal sheathed Jets in the Saints biggest test of the season so far. These Jets had a defensive unit that was thought of as second to none and they brought everything they had at the fast moving Saints and almost kept them from scoring the points necessary to win the contest. However, as a surprise to the Jets themselves the Saints own defense stood tall and laid down some serious hurt upon the Jets and their pretty if not somewhat foppish quarterback. They harassed and harangued him all afternoon causing him to make many mistakes which the Saints and their sharp defense capitalized on. One defensive player was more sharp than the rest, and created many opportunities for the Saints. Breesus walked up to him, clapped him on the shoulder and named him "Sharper".
In the end, the Saints stood as winners of the contest, and the Rex of the Jets left the field with his head hung low.
After giving his favorite Saints a Sabbath off, God sent his 5th test.
A tribe of mighty blue Giants from the north. These Giants were formidable, you could just ask their fans and they would sing the praises of their heros. With a highly rated defensive unit and a serviceable offense, this was to be athe real test for Breesus and the Saints. Entering the games, Breesus immediately took his Saints down the field and scored, shocking the Giants and their fans into silence. Then, he did it again. And again. And AGAIN. Soon these mighty blue Giants were looking more like insignificant ants. Breesus laughed at God's folly at sending what he figured to be a "real" test down to the Southern Dome. Breesus threw his javelins at will, striking down these "giants" in short order. At the end of the Saints grand feast Breesus and his Saints gave the giants 40 burgers to take with them on their trip back up North, so they wouldn't starve on the way.
The following Sabbath, God instructed Breesus to go to the southernmost peninsula and game with a group of fierce fishes. "Fishes?" Breesus was incredulous at this request, but God only smiled and bade him go south. For the first half of the games, these fishes proved themselves worthy indeed as they threw everything they had at their mighty foes, causing the Saints to fall far behind in scoring. Right before the middle break-time, Breesus spoke with the coach of the Saints. "Let me take the javelin in for the score. I can. I will. They shall NOT deny me!" And the Grand Payton finally relented and said "Go forth my general. Go forth and bring me back some filets." And so Breesus did. He passed the javelin over the goal line in his own hands, as he would do if he were serving bread to the grand table of the apostles. The Saints took their break at the half way point, then came back out to play the second half with a renewed intensity on their brows. This half of the game would be very different than the first, with Breesus, Bell, Vilma and Sharper all giving it their all to even up the score.
And even it up they did. And surpassed their host fish they did also in fine fashion! By the time the game had ended, the Saints were still unbeaten and the fish had swam back out to sea to hang their heads in defeat.
Another week passed, and this time a flock of Falcons swooped onto the field of battle. With sharp talons and razor beaks they began to pick apart the Saints with grand precision. Through 1 quarter of battle it appeared as though these mighty Falcons could defeat the Saints and give them a taste of the vile putrid medicine they had been dishing out all season thus far. But then, the Grand Vizier Payton and Breesus came up with a plan, and in the 2nd quarter put it into play. They set "the little nightmare" loose on the Falcons and he punished them heavily for their gall at scoring up ahead of the Saints. Breesus began passing his javelins around at will, crushing many a Falcon's heart in the process. By the time the battle had ended, the Saints had marched into the Falcon's end zone many times and the battle was won. All Hail the Saints! Undefeated!
In the week of 9, season of 2009, God saw that the Saints were getting a little carried away with themselves. The fans were talking "Champions!" and God decided to put a little scare into them to calm this crazy talk. So he sent a group of mean, ornery Panthers to the Saint's field to test them. These Panthers took to the field and immediately set about scoring heavily against the hapless Saints. "All is LOST!" cried some of the fans. "Oh no, we suck again!" cried others. And God was pleased that those had been brought down to earth, but then he saw even more and these were smirking and smiling. "What's this?" thought God. "Why do these fans sit there and not lose their minds at this thrashing of their team?" He looked inside and found something astonishing. These fans weren't worried at all. Almost to a person, they were thinking "Just wait till halftime." So He decided to sit back and wait to see what it was these mortals understood that had escaped him.
And sure enough, after the halftime marker, the Saints regained the field and set about dismantling these fierce Panther warriors.
They ran them over, passed javelins over their heads and scored many times on the way to a well fought victory. God was astonished at this display of vim and vigor after a full half of battle that surely should have brought them to their limits. He smiled anyway, knowing that the scare had produced good results. The Saints would practice heavily and get even better at this game of 'football', and the next test he sent would likely fall harder than all the rest.
Another Sabbath came to pass, and Breesus took his team to a land in the north known to be filled with large boisterous Rams. These Rams had not fared well throughout this season, but Breesus was appraised of their unusual might when facing the Saints. The team steeled themselves against the coming onslaught and met the Rams head on and with equal force. These Rams were no pushovers and made Breesus and his Saints work for every inch of field they covered. Throughout the contest the Rams fought tooth and horn for the points to beat the thus far unbeaten Saints, up until the very last play, when the leader of the Rams heaved a mighty javelin down-field in a last desperate effort to overtake the Saints. It was not meant to be this day though, and Breesus and the Saints marched off the field of battle with yet another win.
In the week of 11, season of 2009, Breesus and the Saints traveled far south onto the peninsula at the bottom of the continent to do battle with a band of marauders from the sea. The Saints were far better prepared for this skirmish, after having the last 2 come down to the wire and entered the game with fury in their eyes. Their first possession showed signs of life, but the Buccaneers also played with fervor. After giving the possession over to the hated Bucs, the Saints allowed them to make one trek down the field to score. This development made the Bucs and their kiniptik fanbase go wild, now thinking that they were able to play right alongside Breesus and his merry Saints. The truth, however, was far from what they perceived. The Saints re-took the field, and commenced to dismantling the Bucs piece by flagging piece. By the time the contest was over, Breesus and krewe had racked up 38 unanswered points, while the hated Bucs were held to less yardage throughout the rest of the game than they had amassed on their very first possession.
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