Things Kids Say (1 Viewer)

BoatsNBeer

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So we are at Disney World 2 weeks ago and my 4 year old son and I are walking to the pool. There is a guy walking about 10 feet in front of us with a pink sweater on with the collar popped (it's 90 degrees outside BTW). I think to myself "what a ******". Then, right on cue, my sons almost yells for all to hear, "HAA HAA, He has a pink shirt on Daddy, HAA HAA He's a girl!! HAA HAA". I was proud, horrified, and trying not to laugh all at once.



Then last week my wife cleaned out a bunch of his old toys he no longer plays with b/c his birthday is today and Christmas is coming. They had 2 or 3 trash bags full and my wife told him we are going to give the toys to little kids who don't have many toys, etc.

So, I am putting clothes away that night and come across a pair of boxers I have had for 6+ years and had finally reached the stage where I could no longer make excuses for them. I was loathe to part with them, but I handed them to my son and told him to go put them in the trash for me. He goes to the kitchen and comes back a few seconds later still holding the boxers with a big smile on his face. He's all proud of his idea as he tells us, "Why don't we bring these to other daddies who can't afford to buy new underwear?"


Share some of the better stories from your children.
 

Boudro

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Other than my son pointing out EVERYTHING about people he sees, pointing out that the old lady who appeared to be a cancer survivor didn't have hair, calling the old man's Stetson a BIIIIIIG hat, and saying that some girl had ugly teeth, he hasn't done anything to that level yet.

He tends to do more like tell us to get out of his room because he has a lot of stuff to do, or tell us to be quiet cause he is watching Diego, and just be an all around funny kid.
 

The_Burning_Bush

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Not my son, actually my 6 year old brother.


Yesterday a repair guy and his wife come out to the house to look at some work that needed to be done. His wife and my mom were on the other end of the room talking, while he was looking things over. My brother said "I think men are better than women because we're doing the work and the women aren't doing anything."
 
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BoatsNBeer

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Last year just after my son turned three he told my wife when she was fussing at him, "What the hell is going on with you, lady?"

I still have the livid email from my wife wanting to know where he learned that.

And he calls my wife a "buzzkill" when she's in one of her moods. I do know where he learned that one. :9:
 

keepoursaints

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When anyone asks Kyler what his name is, he still says "Bobby Jindal"

He also says WOMEN and shakes his head from side to side :9:
 

Boudro

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Last year just after my son turned three he told my wife when she was fussing at him, "What the hell is going on with you, lady?"

I still have the livid email from my wife wanting to know where he learned that.

And he calls my wife a "buzzkill" when she's in one of her moods. I do know where he learned that one. :9:

That's good stuff.

My son's mother, we are not together nor ever been married, called me one day to ask me if I taught Aiden to call her Momma Boudro.

Not long ago I was teaching him his middle and last names and he, for some reason started calling her Momma Boudro and me Daddy Boudro. I didn't teach him to call her that but I wish I would have. It was pretty funny.
 

saintmdterps

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My son, age 7, told me a couple weeks ago, "I don't know what it is daddy, but I just love the ladies!"

A couple years ago, I was explaining to him that I would have had a child from my first marriage, but my then-wife had a miscarrige at 22 weeks and our baby died. Carter said "Well daddy, I guess he just wasn't ready to be born yet." It had taken me ten years to come to the same conclusion and stop being angry.
 

buzd

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St. Greatness

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Omg, that was adorable!
 

KardiacKat

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I apologize in advance if the following sends us promptly BTL.

My son has finally turned into a boy. He has expressed zero interest in girls. He's been mama's baby all this time, and then BOOM. 7th grade. I suspected it would happen, as 7th graders are all animals in my experience, but it has really been a sudden change over the past 6 weeks. Recent comments/questions uttered by my son over the past week or so:

"Why do they call it '******* ***?' Is it because the person who invented it was named Jack?"

"He said 'she ******* her *******.' What does that mean? Does it have to do with S-P-E-R-M?"

{giggling} "Padme was playing with Anakin's light saber." {giggling}

"Crystal is getting boobs." {giggling}

"I have a lesbian in my class. I know she is because she dresses like a boy and she doesn't have boobs."

"When can I start shaving?"

"Mrs. Armstrong is hot. For a teacher."
 

KardiacKat

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Funny spot, but what does that have to do with the price of tea in China?
 

Sabine

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Son has always had a little entrepreneurial spirit. At age 10, he still had about 75 cents for every dollar earned. He liked having money.

At age 5, he lost a tooth before he could put it under his pillow. Disappointed that the tooth fairy might not show up, I assured him she would come anyway.

The next day, he stubbed his toe so badly that his toenail was barely hanging on. I plastered it back in place with Neosporin and secured it with a bandaid. A short while later in the car, son reports that the tooth fairy didn't show up. I forgot to play fairy :covri:. I quickly fished out a buck (more than the usual amount) while his sisters gave me a disappointed and threatening look.

He was thrilled, reported the amount of his savings to date, pondered, and asked "How much could I get for a toenail?"
 

primadox

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I was getting ready to go to a baby shower for a friend who is expecting twins, and my 8 year old son asked where I was going. I said "To a baby shower for Miss _____; she's having two babies". He said "oh, she's having twins!....are they identical or fraternal?" -- I have NO IDEA where he learned this at 8 years old...

My 6 year old daughter came to me mad, saying that her brother (the same 8 year old above) said a bad word about her "my little pony" toy. That immediately got my attention, and I asked what he said. She said "He called my pony 'putrid'!!".

My 8 year old is a riot. You simply never know what he's going to come up with...
 

WhatDat

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When my nephew was little and had to go potty, he'd let us know and we would help him up on the toilet. As soon as he sat down, he would say "I would like some privacy now." So, whoever helped him would leave and a few minutes later he'd yell, "somebody come and wipe my butt!"
 

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