US to parachute tylenol-laced mice into Guam - you can't make this stuff up (1 Viewer)

superchuck500

guarding the potatoes
VIP Subscribing Member
VIP Contributor
Diamond VIP Contributor
Joined
Aug 9, 2004
Messages
56,718
Reaction score
85,154
Location
Mt. Pleasant, SC
Offline
USA! USA!

ANDERSEN AIR FORCE BASE, Guam (AP) -- Dead mice laced with painkillers are about to rain down on Guam's jungle canopy. They are scientists' prescription for a headache that has caused the tiny U.S. territory misery for more than 60 years: the brown tree snake.

Most of Guam's native bird species are extinct because of the snake, which reached the island's thick jungles by hitching rides from the South Pacific on U.S. military ships shortly after World War II. There may be 2 million of the reptiles on Guam now, decimating wildlife, biting residents and even knocking out electricity by slithering onto power lines.
[]
The solution to this headache, fittingly enough, is acetaminophen, the active ingredient in painkillers including Tylenol.

The strategy takes advantage of the snake's two big weaknesses. Unlike most snakes, brown tree snakes are happy to eat prey they didn't kill themselves, and they are highly vulnerable to acetaminophen, which is harmless to humans.

The upcoming mice drop is targeted to hit snakes near Guam's sprawling Andersen Air Force Base, which is surrounded by heavy foliage and if compromised would offer the snakes a potential ticket off the island. Using helicopters, the dead neonatal mice will be dropped by hand, one by one.

U.S. government scientists have been perfecting the mice-drop strategy for more than a decade with support from the Department of Defense and the Department of the Interior.

To keep the mice bait from dropping all the way to the ground, where it could be eaten by other animals or attract insects as they rot, researchers have developed a flotation device with streamers designed to catch in the branches of the forest foliage, where the snakes live and feed.

Experts say the impact on other species will be minimal, particularly since the snakes have themselves wiped out the birds that might have been most at risk.
US gov't to air-drop toxic mice on Guam snakes - WTOP.com
 
OP
superchuck500

superchuck500

guarding the potatoes
VIP Subscribing Member
VIP Contributor
Diamond VIP Contributor
Joined
Aug 9, 2004
Messages
56,718
Reaction score
85,154
Location
Mt. Pleasant, SC
Offline
So, the obvious question becomse what do we do about all the tylenol mice that breed tylenol mice babies?
Reminds me of this:

KENT BROCKMAN
Our top story, the population of parasitic tree lizards has exploded, and local citizens couldn't be happier! It seems the rapacious reptiles have developed a taste for the common pigeon, also known as the 'feathered rat', or the 'gutter bird'. For the first time, citizens need not fear harassment by flocks of chattering disease-bags.
Later, Bart receives an award from Mayor Quimby outside the town hall. Several lizards slink past.

QUIMBY
For decimating our pigeon population, and making Springfield a less oppressive place to while away our worthless lives, I present you with this scented candle.
Skinner talks to Lisa.

SKINNER
Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
LISA
But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
SKINNER
No problem. We simply unleash wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
LISA
But aren't the snakes even worse?
SKINNER
Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
LISA
But then we're stuck with gorillas!
SKINNER
No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.
 

FLIPPY

Angler of the Year
Gold VIP Contributor
Joined
Jan 8, 2007
Messages
18,784
Reaction score
19,389
Age
56
Location
Metry
Offline
This is some tax dollars I believe in. I really hate snakes.....
 

livefromDC

Subscribing Member
VIP Subscribing Member
Joined
May 12, 2006
Messages
9,649
Reaction score
16,241
Age
41
Location
Atlanta, GA
Offline
After reading the article about medical costs, and knowing the frivolus spending by the government, I wonder how much the mice and Tylenol cost us.
Sadly, this how your concerns would be portrayed in this political climate.

El Caliente is in favor of brown tree snakes. El Caliente thinks getting rid of brown tree snakes is an example of frivolous spending by the government. El Caliente wants us to be marred in this epidemic of brown tree snakes. Ask yourself, is that someone you want in office? Someone that is a friend to the deadly brown tree snake?

paidforbythecommitteetonotelectElCaliente.
 

billinms

Tiptoeing Through the Tulips
VIP Subscribing Member
Joined
Oct 1, 2004
Messages
19,649
Reaction score
24,600
Age
48
Location
Ocean Springs
Offline
Sadly, this how your concerns would be portrayed in this political climate.

El Caliente is in favor of brown tree snakes. El Caliente thinks getting rid of brown tree snakes is an example of frivolous spending by the government. El Caliente wants us to be marred in this epidemic of brown tree snakes. Ask yourself, is that someone you want in office? Someone that is a friend to the deadly brown tree snake?

paidforbythecommitteetonotelectElCaliente.
Suddenly I can't stand El Caliente.
 

purvis_guy

Victim of Laughing Chance
Joined
Nov 29, 2006
Messages
12,503
Reaction score
6,678
Location
Mobile, AL
Offline
After reading the article about medical costs, and knowing the frivolus spending by the government, I wonder how much the mice and Tylenol cost us.
Sadly, this how your concerns would be portrayed in this political climate.

El Caliente is in favor of brown tree snakes. El Caliente thinks getting rid of brown tree snakes is an example of frivolous spending by the government. El Caliente wants us to be marred in this epidemic of brown tree snakes. Ask yourself, is that someone you want in office? Someone that is a friend to the deadly brown tree snake?

paidforbythecommitteetonotelectElCaliente.
"Putting tylenol in dead mice and parachuting them over Guam will not add one dime to the national debt."
-President Barack Obama
.
See, there's nothing to worry about.:hihi:
 

Create an account or login to comment

You must be a member in order to leave a comment

Create account

Create an account on our community. It's easy!

Log in

Already have an account? Log in here.

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)



Headlines

Top Bottom