Ways to be a perfect Democrat.....

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Bless U Boys

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You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on
demand.
You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
create prosperity.

You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans
are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of
Iran, Pakistan and North Korea.

You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
documented cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by
soccer moms driving SUV's.

You hace to believe corn is the answer to our fuel problems.
Bought any tortillas lately?

You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth
graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about
sex.

You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
doing something to earn it.

You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own
money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.

You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts
of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution.

You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
high.

You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and
A.G. Bell .

You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides are not.

You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice
person.

You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been In
charge.

You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail,
but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

You have to believe that parades displaying drag queens,
transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the
Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States .

You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing
conspiracy.

You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day
off on Christmas Day but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."

You have to believe that it's OK to ban Marine recruiters from Berkley
but the citizens of Berkely deserve protection from Marines when they
are in trouble.

You have to believe that it's OK to break our laws entering the
United States and not call them ILLEGAL Alians. They are not
immigrants.
 
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If your political views can be summed up in a joke e-mail or bulletin about the "other guys", stop sending them to me, and more importantly, stop voting. In fact, stay out of politics altogether and spend your time arguing over which American Idol contestant is your favorite. Leave the decisions that affect the rest of us up to someone else.

Yes, Republicans represent the financial interests of the richest among us, the religious interests of bat-****-crazy fanatics, and pill-popping, racist political radio talk show hosts. But they are the ones who want to lower your taxes through less government spending, make your government smaller, keep you safe, and give you the right to defend yourself and your family with a weapon. (except the current president, he kinda threw that 'lower taxes and less spending' thing in the toilet).

Yes, Democrats are more apt to have loose morals, are opposed to war, are opposed to government imposed morality or religion, and want to raise your taxes. They do not want to convert America into Osama's one-stop shop for homosexuality, pot smoking, welfare abuse, submission to terrorism, and flag-burning. Why would they? They want the government to stay the hell out of your personal business and spread this country's unbelievable wealth to those who need help.

The moral of the story, political parties and politicians are a failure, period. You contribute nothing to debate and nothing to your country or this world by sitting around trying to make the 'other guys' look bad. If you really care, do something other than criticize the other side of the spectrum.

Try to improve the country through... open-minded debate, rational thought, and dare I say it.. trying to see things from someone else's perspective. Not a stupid cartoon or forwarded e-mail.

And don't blame me, I voted for Hulk Hogan. Thank you and good night.
 
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Jonesy77

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They want the government to stay the hell out of your personal business and spread this country's unbelievable wealth to those who need help.
In the spirit of debate, you list this as though it's a good thing. And it is somewhat internally inconsistent
 
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Bless U Boys

Bless U Boys

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It is a joke. An email being passed around. Lighten up people. If you think either party has your best interest in mind, you need to share.
 
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Notice that I voted for Hulkamania. I dislike both sides, and I was not taking up for either one. They both have good and bad points. Gridlock accomplishes zilch, and I wish parties were outlawed.
 

Thorin

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They want the government to stay the hell out of your personal business
That caught my eye too. Is wage garnishment for compulsory government health care adoption a way of staying out of our business? Like Cruize said, both sides are horribly flawed.
 
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That caught my eye too. Is wage garnishment for compulsory government health care adoption a way of staying out of our business? Like Cruize said, both sides are horribly flawed.
Personal business. Issues of morality. And I think they are horribly flawed also. That was the entire premise of the post. Now that everything is settled here, can we just make fun of Tony Romo?
 

gavinj

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"You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
documented cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by
soccer moms driving SUV's."

Well, this obviously came from the desk of Karl Rove. It's common knowledge that he's the only Republican who spells 'cyclical' without using an 's' somewhere.
 
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