Worst birthday ever! Advice needed! (2 Viewers)

Andrus

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My son-in-law Scott (my daughter-Sheena's spouse) died suddenly in my home tonight, from what the coroner thinks was a massive coronary caused by a blood clot in his neck, but will have to confirm.

I had just gotten back from having a birthday dinner with my wife in Carencro. We stopped at Firehouse Subs and McDonalds and got Sheena and the grandkids some fast food on the way back home.

When we got home, I saw Scott, asked him if he wanted some McDonalds and he said he wasn't hungry. I then saw him walk towards his room. My daughter said that she had gone off to take a bath, and I went to my PC to update the news here.

Not that long thereafter my daughter runs into my office in a panic and says she can't wake Scott up. I ran into his room and began to shake him to try to wake him up, no response. I checked his pulse. No pulse! He was purple and not breathing. I immediately began CPR and Sheena called 911. We (my son Andre, Sheena and I) continued CPR while being coached online by the 911 respondent. The police showed up about 10 minutes later and helped with the CPR, then a few minutes later the EMT's showed up. They worked on Scott for 20 minutes... tried everything, and then called it. Just like that, he was gone.

A little later, Sheena told her daughter Arya of her fathers passing, and I think that I am more devastated by that than anything. Naturally it is extremely hard to see your daughter in so much pain, but young grand children? Devastating!

Scott was 43 years old, a big Saints fan, as you can imagine, and was seemingly in good health. He loved his 2 kids (5 year old daughter and 2.5 year old son, my grandchildren) dearly, and was a very good father to them, as well as he was a spouse to Sheena. .

For that, and many other reasons, I loved Scott, too! But I don't care about me here, I am deeply concerned about my daughter and grand children. Of course Sheena is devastated. Since Sheena is stricken with MS, is physically disabled, and really can't work, It looks like my wife will have to take care of them, which I am more than happy to do, but I am no spring chicken. What happens when we are gone?

My wife and I had moved them all back to our home in Louisiana from Colorado a few months back due to them struggling financially, and they simply couldn't make it up there. It wasn't for the lack of trying. Scott did his best. It just didn't work out. He had no insurance of any sort, and no money. I am just sitting here thinking about how to move forward. The downturn in the Oil business that started in late 2015, in addition to helping to keep Scott and Sheena afloat destroyed my wife and I financially, as we were both out of work for two years ourselves. So I don't know what to do here. The Melancon funeral home people left with his body about an hour ago, and I told them I would call them tomorrow to make the arrangements.

Anyone have any experience with this? Do funeral homes finance funerals?

Sorry, I am simply in shock and not thinking straight. So forgive me if I seem a bit off. There are a 1000 things going on in my mind at the moment. Naturally for something like this, I turn to the community. It seems most of my friends in life are rooted here.

Edit: Updated to add gofundme link

 
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BoldSaint

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So sorry to hear about your loss! Thoughts and prayers are with you!
 

saintturk1

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I appreciate the information, Pastor. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but I needed to hear it. I'll be better prepared to talk to the funeral home now. Thank you for taking the time, none the less.

Here is the problem with the pre-need policy. Insurance policies keep people broke. Danged if you do, danged if you don't, and if you really need one, they won't give it to you. No one will give me life insurance due to being a diabetic on blood pressure medicine with a bad thyroid. Been trying for 25 years. Always a no-go! So there's that.

Will see about that GoFundMe tomorrow, or should I say later today. I need to discuss it with the family. Tired, but can't sleep.
info.sciencecare.com This is where you donate your body to science they use it for medical students then return the cremation back to the family in 6months to a year there is no cost for this service it's not a great option but it is an option so very sorry for your loss God bless you, and your entire family during this time of loss.
 

J.T.

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Andrus, so very sorry to hear about this. Absolutely devastating. Your SR Community is here for you, we are like a big extended family here. So many people have given you great advice.

I just saw this thread because I am dealing with a major family issue of my own. My mom is dying, she was told by her doctor today. She does not have much time left and we are bringing her home for hospice care as soon as possible. She is a huge Saints fan and went to many, many games. She has not been able to go to games for many years, but she loves the Saints. I also have a niece with MS and my wife is a Type 1 Diabetic and my Dad is a Type 2. All I can say is stay strong and lean on your SR family for help.

I am a lawyer, but I am not a specialist in any of these areas, but I do know that good legal advice is crucial for you and your family regarding debts. Make sure you or your daughter don't assume debts (by starting to pay them) that are really not your responsibility. If the accounts were his actual accounts and somebody else had their name on them as a user, but not as the account holder, that is a big issue that may make the user not responsible for them. I would stress to stop using any accounts which "look" like they are joint if at all possible. So much great advice here and hopefully an SR lawyer with expertise in this area will be able to help guide you through this.

I can't imagine the sense of shock and bewilderment you are going through. I am dealing with my family issues now, but we have known for some time that this was coming eventually, just not that it was coming on us now. Please take some comfort in knowing that your SR family REALLY appreciates all that you have done to make this site one in which people co-exist and interact with decency and civility. You are a very good man, you will get through this.
 

BRsaintS

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For those of us who knows Jesus as our Lord and Savoir, scripture tell us, "He'll never leave nor forsake us", Who dat nation, ask Jesus into your heart, and confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, right now, because tomorrow isn't promise to us. My prayers are with you and your entire family, that He will give you the strength to get through this. Jesus Loves you and your family, so very much.
 
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Andrus

Andrus

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Andrus, so very sorry to hear about this. Absolutely devastating. Your SR Community is here for you, we are like a big extended family here. So many people have given you great advice.

I just saw this thread because I am dealing with a major family issue of my own. My mom is dying, she was told by her doctor today. She does not have much time left and we are bringing her home for hospice care as soon as possible. She is a huge Saints fan and went to many, many games. She has not been able to go to games for many years, but she loves the Saints. I also have a niece with MS and my wife is a Type 1 Diabetic and my Dad is a Type 2. All I can say is stay strong and lean on your SR family for help.

I am a lawyer, but I am not a specialist in any of these areas, but I do know that good legal advice is crucial for you and your family regarding debts. Make sure you or your daughter don't assume debts (by starting to pay them) that are really not your responsibility. If the accounts were his actual accounts and somebody else had their name on them as a user, but not as the account holder, that is a big issue that may make the user not responsible for them. I would stress to stop using any accounts which "look" like they are joint if at all possible. So much great advice here and hopefully an SR lawyer with expertise in this area will be able to help guide you through this.

I can't imagine the sense of shock and bewilderment you are going through. I am dealing with my family issues now, but we have known for some time that this was coming eventually, just not that it was coming on us now. Please take some comfort in knowing that your SR family REALLY appreciates all that you have done to make this site one in which people co-exist and interact with decency and civility. You are a very good man, you will get through this.
J.T., I am very sorry to hear about your mom. Seems a lot of us are going through something similar. You are a good man! I will keep you and your mom in my prayers.
 

fahad

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Please accept my deepest condolences for your family's loss.
My heart goes out to you and your family at this difficult time.
 

Zack Lee

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I am so sorry for your loss Andrus. At times like this I am truly at a loss for words because I don't know exactly how you guys must feel. You, your daughter and especially your grand kids are certainly in my thoughts and prayers.
 

kajunbilly

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Andrus, So sorry to hear this terrible news. Ya'll are in our prayers. I also live in Carencro. I don't post much but read on here a lot. If ya'll need anything, i'm just down the road brother. School supplies etc... just say the word.
 

insidejob

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What a horrible thing for all of you to experience. You've got lots of people here who care about you and would donate what they can to a go fund me campaign. IDK if one has already been created, but if not, post a link here if you do decide to create one.
 

Saint T

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My condolences to you and your family Andrus. I will be lifting y’all up in prayers.
 

jayd265

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Well.. thank you very much, J.D! She does wear size 6, and Sheena would be grateful, but only if you are sure that your daughter doesn't need them.

If so... The address is:

Sheena Whitewing
392 Highway 182,
Sunset, La. 70584
no problem andrus. i get off a little early today for a meet and greet at my sons school. i will ship them then via USPS.
 

SaintJ

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Andrus, I am so sorry to hear this terrible news, and please accept our deepest condolences to your whole family. We will be thinking of you and your family in the coming days, not to mention praying and contributing. Hang in there.
 

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