Band of feral herpes monkeys roaming NE Florida (1 Viewer)

[superchuck500]

This is sooo 2020

A roving band of feral, herpes-ridden monkeys is now roaming across northeast Florida.

The STD-addled rhesus macaques had previously been confined to Silver Springs State Park near Ocala, Florida, but are now being spotted miles away in Jacksonville, St. Johns, St. Augustine, Palatka, Welaka and Elkton, Florida according to a local ABC affiliate, First Coast News.

Even more worrying: over a quarter of the 300 feral macaques — an invasive species native to south and southeast Asia — carry herpes B, according to a 2018 survey, National Geographic reported.

 

[Sun Wukong]

Some ancient dread lovecraftian terror died a hundred million years ago where Florida now stands and its lingering taint manifests in the strangest ways.

 

[Maxp]

They must have loosed them to kill all the snakes. Just waiting on the cold front now. Circle of life.

 

[Loose Cannon]

Look I know they're still kinda new to the SEC and have only played a couple games in Gainesville but the proper term is "Texas a&m fighting aggy", not "herpes ridden monkey".

 

[superchuck500]

They must have loosed them to kill all the snakes. Just waiting on the cold front now. Circle of life.

 

[UndeadSnoopy]

How long before a Florida man gets herpes from a monkey?

Should we open a betting pool?

 

[faceman]

They must have loosed them to kill all the snakes. Just waiting on the cold front now. Circle of life.

Those pythons are a nuisance . The only native animal that stands a chance is the alligator.

 

[Saintman2884]

Isn't this kind of how Stephen King's The Stand begins in the novel and celebrated 1994 TV series versions in a round about way?

BTW, there bringing a new Stand TV series back later this year, I believe, it will air on HBO or Showtime, Whoopi Goldberg plays Mother Abigail, Alexander Scarsgard plays Randall Flagg, and Marilyn Manson plays the Thrashcan Man, a mentally-ill, sad, shriveled shell of a man who is not to be trusted with a paper clip, much less being anywhere near in the vicinity of thermonuclear weapons, warheads, or pathogens.

 

[UndeadSnoopy]

Isn't this kind of how Stephen King's The Stand begins in the novel and celebrated 1994 TV series versions in a round about way?

BTW, there bringing a new Stand TV series back later this year, I believe, it will air on HBO or Showtime, Whoopi Goldberg plays Mother Abigail, Alexander Scarsgard plays Randall Flagg, and Marilyn Manson plays the Thrashcan Man, a mentally-ill, sad, shriveled shell of a man who is not to be trusted with a paper clip, much less being anywhere near in the vicinity of thermonuclear weapons, warheads, or pathogens.

The role Manson was born for.

 

[Dago]

So what you are saying is that it is hard to tell the monkeys and the people of NE Florida apart

 

[Bobario]

How long before a Florida man gets herpes from a monkey?

Should we open a betting pool?

It's more likely the monkeys caught hepes from Florida man.

 

[UndeadSnoopy]

It's more likely the monkeys caught hepes from Florida man.

It's a give and take thing.

 

[bclemms]

How long before a Florida man gets herpes from a monkey?

Should we open a betting pool?

Screw Florida man. I finally have an explanation to give my wife.

Edit: Didnt work. "Honey, I know how you got herpes, it was from macaque" wasnt the best way to roll this one out.

 

[Taurus]

So do we need to change the other thread from Florida Man to Florida Primate?

 

[Taurus]

Isn't this kind of how Stephen King's The Stand begins in the novel and celebrated 1994 TV series versions in a round about way?

BTW, there bringing a new Stand TV series back later this year, I believe, it will air on HBO or Showtime, Whoopi Goldberg plays Mother Abigail, Alexander Scarsgard plays Randall Flagg, and Marilyn Manson plays the Thrashcan Man, a mentally-ill, sad, shriveled shell of a man who is not to be trusted with a paper clip, much less being anywhere near in the vicinity of thermonuclear weapons, warheads, or pathogens.

If they use the unabridged version, there's enough material for ten seasons.