Dads and their Daughters Virginity (1 Viewer)

[Optimus Prime]

I read about the TI story and thought it was weird

I’ve certainly seen it played for laughs in countless TV shows and movies

How much of a real thing is this?

Double standard?

Ok with it being a double standard?

I’d be interested in hearing the opinions from the fathers and women here

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Surely we can all agree that it’s really weird for a man to escort his adult daughter on an annual pilgrimage to the gynecologist to assess whether her hymen is still intact.

Or — terrifyingly! — maybe we can’t agree on this, since a 2016 survey of 288 American OB-GYNs revealed that 10 percent of them had been asked by female patients or their family members to perform medically absurd “virginity tests.”..........

There’s a spectrum, of course.

Fathers: If you have ever escorted your daughter to a “purity ball,” or presented her with a promise ring, or done anything else implying that her virginity is something she should preserve for you rather than for herself, you’re definitely on this spectrum.

If you’ve ever strolled over to your daughter’s homecoming date and told him to have her home by 11 because you have a concealed-carry permit and a brother in the CIA, heh heh heh — you are, I deeply regret to inform you, on this spectrum........

Fathers, if you’ve done these things, it’s not entirely your fault. These are behaviors and phrases that popular culture mines for laughs and sentimentality.

Haha: some Tim Allen look-alike has padlocked his daughter’s door so she can’t go on a date! Haha: now he’s followed her to the restaurant to spy from behind the lobster tank.

But: cue the swell of music, when his daughter discovers him, instead of telling him she’s creeped out, she tells him he doesn’t need to worry.

She’s not going to do anything. He raised her right, and by “right,” we mean “chaste.” Father of the year........

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/why-do-so-many-dads-think-its-their-duty-to-monitor-their-daughters-virginity/2019/11/07/be8ffaee-016c-11ea-9518-1e76abc088b6_story.html

 

[UndeadSnoopy]

 

[Zack Lee]

I was always daddy’s little girl. Are you still daddy’s little girl Beverly?

 

[Det. Brees]

I read about the TI story and thought it was weird

I’ve certainly seen it played for laughs in countless TV shows and movies

How much of a real thing is this?

Double standard?

Ok with it being a double standard?

I’d be interested in hearing the opinions from the fathers and women here

===========================
Surely we can all agree that it’s really weird for a man to escort his adult daughter on an annual pilgrimage to the gynecologist to assess whether her hymen is still intact.

Or — terrifyingly! — maybe we can’t agree on this, since a 2016 survey of 288 American OB-GYNs revealed that 10 percent of them had been asked by female patients or their family members to perform medically absurd “virginity tests.”..........

There’s a spectrum, of course.

Unfortunately due to working in SVU so so many years I know way more about the female body than I care to. The "Virginity test" / intact hymen is a myth. There is no way a doctor can test a female and determine if she has ever had sex.

As a father myself, I would do things for both of my children to look out for them and protect them. Is there a double standard for girls when it comes to sex, of course. if a girl becomes pregnant she does not have the pleasure of paying child support and moving on with her life. She now has a baby she has to take care of, Hopefully with the assistance of her parents and the baby daddy. So yes, I acted as a parent who had talks with her and advised her about pre-marital sex and birth control. uncomfortable, yes. that's what a parent should do.

 

[guidomerkinsrules]

Here is where I break with my default ‘everything is/should be equal’ position
This is not an example of a double standard bc it is not an equal problem
Consequences for girls are much harsher than they are for boys
boys can’t get pregnant

That being said, the impulse to cloister girls bc of the potential for bad results is hella backwards

Both sexes should have access to quality sex Ed and birth control

 

[GeauxWhoDats]

The old joke is true. Boys are easier raise than girls because with boys you have to worry about only one penis, with girls you have to worry about every penis.

I have a daughter on the cusp of turning 13 and starting High School. My wife and I are doing our best to educate her and instill the moral barometer of making the right decision in regards to sex.

I would never drag her to the doctor to have a “virginity test” conducted. Sex is as natural as breathing so I don’t want to teach her that it is “wrong”, it is just something that you need to be educated on due to the end result could change her life and all of those around her.

I consider sex to be a private and personal matter and I don’t want to know anyone else’s conquest or experience but if the people I am responsible for have a question I want them to feel comfortable enough to come to me. This also goes for my 16 yr old son.

 

[Paul]

I have a 14 year-old daughter and a 15 year-old son. My wife and I work to instill a responsible mindset in both of them regarding sex, amongst other things.
My daughter went on her first “date” this past Saturday - it was a homecoming dance. We met the young man and his folks a month before the dance and we all seemed ok with each other. I drove them to and from the dance and he and I talked a lot of Saints football (he loves CGM and wants to be like him). My daughter is my baby girl, but I am not going to lock her up or treat the young men she likes as if they’re trash for no reason. That’s a terrible stereotype of fathers that I am purposely breaking. If you do something to her then we have a problem; otherwise, we’re ok. In like manner - I am the same with my son. I teach him to be respectful of young ladies and the weekend before last, he took a young lady to his homecoming dance. We met her and her folks a few weeks before and I drove them to and from as well. I just think that teaching my children to respect themselves and others goes a long way in relationship building and opening the door for them to feel comfortable enough to talk to me and my wife about important matters, including sex.

 

[Booker]

I thought this take by Ethan Hawks was a nice counter to TI’s annual “purity” test.

 

[CapitalCitySaint]

The old joke is true. Boys are easier raise than girls because with boys you have to worry about only one penis, with girls you have to worry about every penis.

One penis can have multiple girls pregnant at the same time. And if your son is underage...guess who is responsible for child support?

 

[Optimus Prime]

Another article
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.......There is no good reason for the concept of “virginity” to persist. Not one. Virginity, whatever it means, has no bearing on morality, goodness or innocence.

You aren’t more pure or kind or good if you haven’t experienced vaginal sex. You don’t “lose” something by having pleasurable, consensual sex – you gain a new, fun experience.

Yet women the world over receive the implicit (and sometimes explicit) message that virginity makes them more valuable and more worthy of love and respect..........

TI's hymen checks are horrific. So is the entire concept of virginity | Jill Filipovic

The rapper’s revelation about his daughter should remind us of the misogyny inherent in valuing sexual inexperience

www.theguardian.com

 

[CapitalCitySaint]

To each their own. If TI wants to adopt this stupid outdated ideal then normally I'd be like "it's disgusting but k". My biggest issue with him doing this is that he has children from three different women, it is publicly and widely known that he cheats on his current wife and that they have 3somes. Not to mention his rap lyrics about women and the fact that he said he'd never vote for a woman as president. He's the worst kind of hypocrite.

You want to show your daughter how women should respect themselves, then first show respect to the women in your life. You don't want your daughter giving it up to forkboys, then stop being the example of what not to do/be to women. Also, I hope he is preaching the same bullshirt to his sons.

If this was Ben Watson doing this to his daughter, it would make a lot more sense. I still wouldn't agree with it but it would at least make sense. But TI...like dude, people in glass houses...

 

[baarbogast]

I had to look up who TI is, still really have no clue. If kids are taught about responsible sex and potential consequences, we all benefit.

 

[Charlie Brizzown]

I had to look up who TI is, still really have no clue. If kids are taught about responsible sex and potential consequences, we all benefit.

He invented the calculator.

 

[Madmarsha]

He invented the calculator.

Ah. Mr. Instruments.

 

[UndeadSnoopy]

Ah. Mr. Instruments.