Dating (82 Viewers)

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CapitalCitySaint said:
Well y'all know my story from November. I do not do online dating - if I don't meet people organically, it doesn't happen.

On Sunday, I went to the beach to walk the beach and catch the sunset. As I was walking back to my car, I heard "excuse me" (there had not been anyone in my vicinity prior to that). I turned around and this really handsome guy was approaching. He was like "hi, I just wanted to say that you are really beautiful and I was wondering if I could get your number?'

While he was very handsome and had great teeth, I immediately was like "oh I don't know". He's all what does that mean, I don't know. I said how old are you because I guarantee you I am way too old for you. He says "I'm 31 and there's no way you're that much older than me".

People often assume I am in my early 30's. I said I am 45 years old and I am too old for you. He was persistent and was like come on, it's just a number. Age doesn't matter. blah blah blah So, against my better judgment, I gave him my number thinking like well, maybe I could like him enough to just want to fork. That was literally the extent of our exchange.

He texted me before I could even pull out of the parking lot. His spelling immediately pissed me off. He sent a text: I wanna take u on a nice date! He had not even bothered to ask me anything about myself at this point. Nor did he ask about my interests, etc. We literally exchanged like 3 texts each that evening then before I went to bed, he had texted me "goodnight beauty". I never replied to that.

Y'all....I cannot. Like sir, we are strangers. Do not start this sheet. It's way too soon to be sending goodnight messages and pet names. I met you 4 hours ago.

Then he texted the next day and asked what I was up to so I asked what he was doing in return after telling him I was prepping for a meeting in the morning. He said he was working. I asked what he did for work, he said advertising (very vague) and has a side gig at night but did not say what that was. He then asked what I do so I was vague and said I worked in biotech. Y'all, this kid replies "I'm not getting scientist vibes so I'm thinking you are management". It was at that moment that I was like I am so done with these exchanges. Now, he's not wrong but it was the fact that he jumped to conclusions and said what he did that I found off-putting. So I did reply and told him I was a molecular biologist. LOL He was like "Oh wow. Brains and beauty." I didn't reply to that and he later asked what I was up to Saturday night. I didn't reply to that either. Thinking that he got the picture that I was not feeling this situation, I received a text from him today saying "Morning beauty".

I want to shoot myself. I should have upheld my boundary with not giving my number to a child. lol
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He's definitely a serial killer.
 
Eeyore said:
Early in a relationship you're wearing rose colored glasses. There are no red flags.
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Oh, yes, there are. It's why I once jumped out of a [very] slowly moving car. If a dude on a second date is willing to flick me on my thigh in annoyance at me, that's enough of an "assault" for me to not wait around for a third date.
 
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Madmarsha said:
Oh, yes, there are. It's why I once jumped out of a [very] slowly moving car. If a dude on a second date is willing to flick me on my thigh in annoyance at me, that's enough of an "assault" for me to not wait around for a third date.
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That kind of aggression is a deal breaker at any stage.
 
Eeyore said:
That kind of aggression is a deal breaker at any stage.
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Indeed. And I can't help but wonder for any woman who ends up in a DV relationship if something similar had occurred early on that they either didn't register as a red flag or just ignored it because they wanted the relationship and wanted someone to "fix" as some women do. I don't have that gene, thank heaven.

Now, for men, I'm not sure I can off the top of my head share what might be a red flag you are missing because mine -- early on -- is more about being mindful of my physical safety.
 
I never dated. So I don’t have an opinion.
 
Madmarsha said:
Oh, yes, there are. It's why I once jumped out of a [very] slowly moving car. If a dude on a second date is willing to flick me on my thigh in annoyance at me, that's enough of an "assault" for me to not wait around for a third date.
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My last relationship was a DV victim. Over 20 years of verbal and physical assaults, and she finally fled with 2 of her 3 children. The third was in college. Her youngest daughter, now 16, goes to counseling but Melissa never went. Said she attended a few of her daughter's sessions and then quit.

I have a friend who is a counselor with a background in DV as well as her own personal experience. Megan said Melissa's behavior was textbook. Get involved with someone very quickly, but get scared by her own emotions so she seizes on anything as a reason to end the relationship. It stinks. I hope she gets the help she needs for her sake as well as her kids.

Yes, I will be wary of red flags.
 
CapitalCitySaint said:
Well y'all know my story from November. I do not do online dating - if I don't meet people organically, it doesn't happen.

On Sunday, I went to the beach to walk the beach and catch the sunset. As I was walking back to my car, I heard "excuse me" (there had not been anyone in my vicinity prior to that). I turned around and this really handsome guy was approaching. He was like "hi, I just wanted to say that you are really beautiful and I was wondering if I could get your number?'

While he was very handsome and had great teeth, I immediately was like "oh I don't know". He's all what does that mean, I don't know. I said how old are you because I guarantee you I am way too old for you. He says "I'm 31 and there's no way you're that much older than me".

People often assume I am in my early 30's. I said I am 45 years old and I am too old for you. He was persistent and was like come on, it's just a number. Age doesn't matter. blah blah blah So, against my better judgment, I gave him my number thinking like well, maybe I could like him enough to just want to fork. That was literally the extent of our exchange.

He texted me before I could even pull out of the parking lot. His spelling immediately pissed me off. He sent a text: I wanna take u on a nice date! He had not even bothered to ask me anything about myself at this point. Nor did he ask about my interests, etc. We literally exchanged like 3 texts each that evening then before I went to bed, he had texted me "goodnight beauty". I never replied to that.

Y'all....I cannot. Like sir, we are strangers. Do not start this sheet. It's way too soon to be sending goodnight messages and pet names. I met you 4 hours ago.

Then he texted the next day and asked what I was up to so I asked what he was doing in return after telling him I was prepping for a meeting in the morning. He said he was working. I asked what he did for work, he said advertising (very vague) and has a side gig at night but did not say what that was. He then asked what I do so I was vague and said I worked in biotech. Y'all, this kid replies "I'm not getting scientist vibes so I'm thinking you are management". It was at that moment that I was like I am so done with these exchanges. Now, he's not wrong but it was the fact that he jumped to conclusions and said what he did that I found off-putting. So I did reply and told him I was a molecular biologist. LOL He was like "Oh wow. Brains and beauty." I didn't reply to that and he later asked what I was up to Saturday night. I didn't reply to that either. Thinking that he got the picture that I was not feeling this situation, I received a text from him today saying "Morning beauty".

I want to shoot myself. I should have upheld my boundary with not giving my number to a child. lol
Click to expand...
Just like management
 
CapitalCitySaint said:
Well y'all know my story from November. I do not do online dating - if I don't meet people organically, it doesn't happen.

On Sunday, I went to the beach to walk the beach and catch the sunset. As I was walking back to my car, I heard "excuse me" (there had not been anyone in my vicinity prior to that). I turned around and this really handsome guy was approaching. He was like "hi, I just wanted to say that you are really beautiful and I was wondering if I could get your number?'

While he was very handsome and had great teeth, I immediately was like "oh I don't know". He's all what does that mean, I don't know. I said how old are you because I guarantee you I am way too old for you. He says "I'm 31 and there's no way you're that much older than me".

People often assume I am in my early 30's. I said I am 45 years old and I am too old for you. He was persistent and was like come on, it's just a number. Age doesn't matter. blah blah blah So, against my better judgment, I gave him my number thinking like well, maybe I could like him enough to just want to fork. That was literally the extent of our exchange.

He texted me before I could even pull out of the parking lot. His spelling immediately pissed me off. He sent a text: I wanna take u on a nice date! He had not even bothered to ask me anything about myself at this point. Nor did he ask about my interests, etc. We literally exchanged like 3 texts each that evening then before I went to bed, he had texted me "goodnight beauty". I never replied to that.

Y'all....I cannot. Like sir, we are strangers. Do not start this sheet. It's way too soon to be sending goodnight messages and pet names. I met you 4 hours ago.

Then he texted the next day and asked what I was up to so I asked what he was doing in return after telling him I was prepping for a meeting in the morning. He said he was working. I asked what he did for work, he said advertising (very vague) and has a side gig at night but did not say what that was. He then asked what I do so I was vague and said I worked in biotech. Y'all, this kid replies "I'm not getting scientist vibes so I'm thinking you are management". It was at that moment that I was like I am so done with these exchanges. Now, he's not wrong but it was the fact that he jumped to conclusions and said what he did that I found off-putting. So I did reply and told him I was a molecular biologist. LOL He was like "Oh wow. Brains and beauty." I didn't reply to that and he later asked what I was up to Saturday night. I didn't reply to that either. Thinking that he got the picture that I was not feeling this situation, I received a text from him today saying "Morning beauty".

I want to shoot myself. I should have upheld my boundary with not giving my number to a child. lol
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I honestly thought this post was gonna end with. “… and we had hot monkey sex and i am typing this post from bed”…. I am disappoint . :mad:







.
 
saintmdterps said:
The woman I'm seeing tomorrow lost her husband to cancer, but she alluded to finding out something after his demise that really upset her. I'll go with the most likely scenario which is infidelity. She spoke about not being able to trust again, and the frustration of being unable to confront him about it and her ensuing anger.

I don't know exactly what transpired. I didn't push her on it. She'll tell me if and when she's comfortable.
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Soviet spy
 

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