Familes that are still together (1 Viewer)

[bigdaddysaints]

I was telling my kids how rare it is that their parents are still together, and both sets of their grandparents are still together.
Of any of thier friends that i know, either their parents are divorced or at least one set of granparents are have been divorced.
To clariy, married and together, same thing... I do know a lot of people have been together for a long time, but never married.

Is that as rare as I think it is?

 

[Devildog]

My wife and I married very young. 30 years. We are still married and it's better than it's ever been. 3 kids all grown and 1 still lives with us while she's in school.

My parents have been together 40 years. It's my step dad because my father died when I was 4 years old. He's been a father to me in every sense of the word. All of my grandparents were still married when they died.

My Wife's parents were divorced. Her grandparents were all still together.

Her parents are forking morons.

 

[guidomerkinsrules]

wife and I married 16 years - 2 kids
my parents and gparents were together unto death (my dad was adopted - his adopted father died in WW2 - when his adopted mom remarried they were together for the duration)
my sister's marriage lasted somewhere between 10-15 years, no kids)

wife's mom and biological dad split early (like she was 2 or something)
mom and 2nd dad were probably heading for divorce when he died in motorcycle accident when she was about 15)

i know national avg is supposed to be around 50%, but my unscientific data says about 75% of my students (20ish years) have mom/dad intact families

 

[CoolBrees]

Been married for 16 years - 2 kids

My parents have been married for 54 years and my brother has been married for over 20.

My wife’s dad died when she was 13 and her mom never remarried.

 

[Sailorsaint]

I'm divorced, but my parents and grandparents were all married for over 50 years. My siblings have also been divorced and remarried at least once. I know it seems that divorce is more common now than with the older generation but I think a lot of those never divorced even though they were unhappy in their marriage and divorce was frowned upon. These days, happiness is considered more important than keeping a marriage going no matter what.

 

[sfidc3]

Married for 32 years, very thankful our boys are 26 and 28 and both have good jobs and are living on their own....

Their grandparents never divorced, my folks were married for 52 years, they both passed away in 2014. My dad was a WW2 vet, (they had me pretty late) which makes me one of the younger boomers out there I suppose.....

My wife's folks are still alive, dad is 93, mom is 88.....they have been married for 64 years.....

 

[SWJJ]

I have been married 15 years. Both my grandparents were married until they passed away and my mother was widowed and never remarried. My wife's family has a lot of divorces. I waited for a long time to get married because I do not want to get divorced and put my kids through that.

Side note: once for a paper in college I did some research on "privilege." We examined race, gender, socioeconomic status, drug/alcohol use in home, and who is the "parents" in the home (single mom, single dad, one parent and grandparents, ect) and we were shocked to find that the greatest privilege a child can have is being raised in a home with both of their biological parents.

Our outcomes were income level, and marriage success.

children raised in divorced households get divorced at a significantly higher rate than people who's parents stayed married and less significantly but still higher than people who's parents where never married.

People (across all socioeconomic statuses) who are raised in a home with both biological parents earned significantly more money than people who did not, and people who's parents were married earned slightly higher than people who lived with both parents and they were not married.

 

[WhoDatPhan78]

The only divorces in my family are one uncle on each side of the family. Other than that, all of my grandparents, aunts and uncles have only gotten married once and stayed married.

My wife's parents did get a divorce 30 years ago, but never stopped living together. I think they did it for some sort of crooked financial reason.

 

[superchuck500]

I’m married, 15 years this August. My parents are still married, had their 50th anniversary in 2019. My in-laws are still married, their 50th is coming up.

I don’t really know but I suspect that data would show that children of long-married couples are less likely to get divorced, but that’s just a hunch. I think some instances will result in divorce no matter what the family lives were like. But I also think that marriage requires work and commitment and perhaps having that long-term marriage as your model puts you in a mindset to see the marriage as something you have fully committed to and it would take something genuinely momentous to challenge it.

 

[guidomerkinsrules]

I’m married, 15 years this August. My parents are still married, had their 50th anniversary in 2019. My in-laws are still married, their 50th is coming up.

I don’t really know but I suspect that data would show that children of long-married couples are less likely to get divorced, but that’s just a hunch. I think some instances will result in divorce no matter what the family lives were like. But I also think that marriage requires work and commitment and perhaps having that long-term marriage as your model puts you in a mindset to see the marriage as something you have fully committed to and it would take something genuine momentous to challenge it.

Playing pop analyst …:
I wonder if kids from homes of divorce might crave stability in relationships and might jump at bad choices too quickly
Then bc they’ve seen simple solutions (or haven’t seen the slogging through the rough patches) it’s easier to make the choice to leave

I know that having watched my mom put up with a LOT from dad has given me more stamina to navigate choppy waters

 

[CajunInVA]

Married 15 years (in three weeks) and have three kids together.

My parents divorced when I was 8. My paternal grandparents married for life. My maternal grandmother died when my mom was 13 and grandfather subsequently went through four other marriages (he was not a good father to my mom). My sister has been divorced but also remarried a wonderful man.

My wife’s parents are still married. Her maternal grandparents were divorced and on paternal side her grandfather died when her dad was young. Her grandmother never remarried but had a friend for many years until he passed away.

My parents’ divorce sucked at the time, but my stepdad has been one of the most influential people in my life. And I do have a good relationship with my half siblings.

 

[saintmdterps]

Separated after 21 years of marriage. Second marriage for both of us. My parents were married 23 years until dad died in 1984. Mom followed him in 1988.

My wife’s parents were married for 44 years until her dad committed suicide in 2015.

Sigh…I have nothing further at this time. Writing it down still stings. All four events

 

[superchuck500]

Playing pop analyst …:
I wonder if kids from homes of divorce might crave stability in relationships and might jump at bad choices too quickly
Then bc they’ve seen simple solutions (or haven’t seen the slogging through the rough patches) it’s easier to make the choice to leave

I know that having watched my mom put up with a LOT from dad has given me more stamina to navigate choppy waters

Of course these data and analyses are across a macro universe of huge numbers - so they do not control anything and there will always be anecdotes of the complete opposite happening.

But:

Research shows that children of divorce are more likely to experience a divorce themselves. The statistics vary, but one study by researchers Paul Amato and Danelle Deboer indicated that if a woman’s parents divorced, her odds of divorce increased 69%, while if both a husband and wife’s parents divorced, the risk of divorce increased by 189%. They cite 10 other longitudinal studies over 20 years that reached similar results. Put plainly, they explain that, “parental divorce is one of the best documented risk factors for marriage dissolution” (Amato & Deboer, 2001, p. 1038).

If My Parents Are Divorced, Is My Marriage Doomed to Fail?

Does having divorced parents increase your likelihood of divorce? If so, why? And what can I do to protect my relationship, even if my parents got divorced?

www.psychologytoday.com

 

[efil4stnias]

Wife and I make 23 years this month- 18th.

Both of us come from divorced parents. So we bucked the odds in that article @superchuck500 just posted.

I do believe i had the mindset to NOT do as my father which i think paved the road for me ahead in navigating our ever-evolving relationship. And listened a ton to my mom. Plus i didnt marry til 30. So i had gotten all the "wild oats" out my system by then lol

 

[guidomerkinsrules]

Of course these data and analyses are across a macro universe of huge numbers - so they do not control anything and there will always be anecdotes of the complete opposite happening.

But:

Research shows that children of divorce are more likely to experience a divorce themselves. The statistics vary, but one study by researchers Paul Amato and Danelle Deboer indicated that if a woman’s parents divorced, her odds of divorce increased 69%, while if both a husband and wife’s parents divorced, the risk of divorce increased by 189%. They cite 10 other longitudinal studies over 20 years that reached similar results. Put plainly, they explain that, “parental divorce is one of the best documented risk factors for marriage dissolution” (Amato & Deboer, 2001, p. 1038).

If My Parents Are Divorced, Is My Marriage Doomed to Fail?

Does having divorced parents increase your likelihood of divorce? If so, why? And what can I do to protect my relationship, even if my parents got divorced?

www.psychologytoday.com

i'm pretty good at math and this says that for every marriage someone will divorce 189 times