Coronavirus humor (24 Viewers)

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UndeadSnoopy said:
Fun morning!

For the first and hopefully last time in my life, I set my alarm for 5:00 am to go on a quest for toilet paper and fresh groceries. I was down to my last roll of TP and had gone from nervous to panicked about the situation.

Imagine my surprise to discover that grocery stores that normally open at 5:00 am were now opening at 8:00 am. I hate WalMart with a passion but I knew they opened at 7:00 am, so I stood in line for 30 minutes waiting for the store to open.

They finally open and as I walk in, an employee (they like to be called associates) informs everyone that there is no TP. Couldn't they have sent someone outside to tell everyone that was standing in line that little tidbit of info before? This WalMart has no grocery so I leave.

I go to Food 4 Less and wait in another line for 30 minutes til they open.

I saw my odds of landing TP at roughly 25% at this point.

The thrill of victory:

I score a 12 PACK of DOUBLE ROLL TP. I'm single so this could last me months. Sure, it's Kroger brand TP but the package claims that it is "Plush and Sturdy" and guarantees I will love it. It also says, "Compare to Quilted Northern". That's a bold statement. We shall see. We shall see. Regardless, now I can wipe with a smile on my face instead of a feeling of impending doom.

The agony of defeat:

No eggs. No ground beef. But I did get a pound of ground pork and other ingredients to cook up some good spaghetti.

I'm sleepy.
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I hope that stuff's good. For a single guy, that's at least six months of toilet paper.
 
superchuck500 said:
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I am stealing this... Because I have maintained all along that it should be mandatory radio frequency for national and local emergencies... and operated via the state under Federal Grants... Small radio stations built through out the country... They do not have to be maned.

For Example... all throught the USA am 550 should be the one used... So everyone will know just go to 550 on the dial as an example.

Each station broadcast your basic weather forcasts and local police, county and state notificaion during normal times.... During National emergencies It can be used for National News.. Or for Local News in the event of local disasters such as storms etc.... Information like numbers to call, Medical aid station locations, Food donation areas.. County Emergency instructions. Etc...
 

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