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i really feel like this is all working from a conclusion to explain/accept selfishness and then fit anecdotes around it
biologically there probably shouldn't be a separation of the parent (esp mother)/baby interplay - they seem much more 2 parts of a biological entity than 2 individuals making autonomous choices
i've known too many women explaining some biochemical connection with their child (and seemingly that connection goes both ways) - babies probably aren't making independent choices
I'm not the one who brought up the anecdotal evidence. You did. I'm just explaining why your anecdote is actually evidence we learn to share instead of it being innate in us. And now you are giving more anecdotal evidence about women you know. But again, I think that is evidence that women and babies likely have hormones that produce those mutual feelings. Those hormones override their natural instincts for the protection of both.
Then again, I don't really think anecdotal evidence proves anything and most often can be used to make any point anyone wants to make.