A father forced 6-year-old son to run on a treadmill. Days later, he left his child to die alone in a hospital (3 Viewers)

[saintmdterps]

I grew up in that situation. I spanked my daughter Ashley once and she is now 30. Never spanked my other two children one time. I don’t believe in the sympathy stuff. People choose to be bad people.

I think that perhaps prior to becoming parents folks need to undergo a psychological battery of tests to determine whether or not they have the ability to be good parents. We take tests to determine our suitability for driving, in my case (and many others) for my profession, and prior to enlisting in the military, etc.

Some folks can't cut it as soldiers, nurses, therapists, doctors, drivers, etc. I'm not sure parenting should be seen as a right. A child is not a car, you can't take a test drive and say "not for me"

 

[DaveXA]

I didn't get that sense from :

It sounds a whole lot like I'm right and those who didn't makes it like me are just bad and worthless.

That's not how I took what he said. It's simply stating his POV. He thinks people simply make poor or bad choices. He's not saying they're worthless or judging them. Just explaining what's behind people's actions. I think it's more complicated than that, but I get his sentiment.

 

[DaveXA]

I think that perhaps prior to becoming parents folks need to undergo a psychological battery of tests to determine whether or not they have the ability to be good parents. We take tests to determine our suitability for driving, in my case (and many others) for my profession, and prior to enlisting in the military, etc.

Some folks can't cut it as soldiers, nurses, therapists, doctors, drivers, etc. I'm not sure parenting should be seen as a right. A child is not a car, you can't take a test drive and say "not for me"

While I get the sentiment, I don't think it's at all practical. And who gets to decide what "good" parenting looks like? I think you open more cons of worms doing this than not.

I wasn't a very good parent in the sense of knowing what I was doing early on, but it was a bit of trial and error and learning what works and what doesn't work for me. All my 4 kids are grown and doing well now, but a lot of it was live and learn.

 

[saintmdterps]

While I get the sentiment, I don't think it's at all practical. And who gets to decide what "good" parenting looks like? I think you open more cons of worms doing this than not.

I wasn't a very good parent in the sense of knowing what I was doing early on, but it was a bit of trial and error and learning what works and what doesn't work for me. All my 4 kids are grown and doing well now, but a lot of it was live and learn.

Oh no, very impractical. Too many variables. Honestly I think most of us would flunk any parent test administered to us in our 20's and even 30's. I'd still have flunked at 41 when my first was born

 

[Semper]

That's not how I took what he said. It's simply stating his POV. He thinks people simply make poor or bad choices. He's not saying they're worthless or judging them. Just explaining what's behind people's actions. I think it's more complicated than that, but I get his sentiment.

thank you!

 

[bigdaddysaints]

I think that perhaps prior to becoming parents folks need to undergo a psychological battery of tests to determine whether or not they have the ability to be good parents. We take tests to determine our suitability for driving, in my case (and many others) for my profession, and prior to enlisting in the military, etc.

Some folks can't cut it as soldiers, nurses, therapists, doctors, drivers, etc. I'm not sure parenting should be seen as a right. A child is not a car, you can't take a test drive and say "not for me"

then there will never be any children born, you can always find a reason to say someone shouldn't have kids,
Nevermind, let me rephrase that, only rich peope would be able to have kids because they'll payy off the ones who do the tests... the US would cease to exist in 60 years

 

[Madmarsha]

A study was done years ago that linked the drop in crime in the early 90's not to the "War on crime, the War on Drugs, or the War on Christmas" but rather to Roe v. Wade, which by way of abortions decreased the umber of unwanted children in the country. Unwanted children, so the theory holds, are more likely to be engaged in crime, drug use, and other unsavory activities. I support this notion.

I just never heard anyone using abortion as a child abuse antidote. So I'll have to think about that. Personally? I don't think that or any of the "War on" programs you mentioned work. People do what they're going to do until they come to their own epiphany, not because they've seen a bumper sticker or a billboard, etc. All it is is a way for whichever group is promulgating whichever "solution" is a way to feel like they're doing something, which is nothing.

I'm neither left or right on abortion. Y'all know I'm a conservative but if Republicans think I stand behind them on their pro life platform, they can step back. I dunno how y'all think about Planned Parenthood; but when I was a young woman, that's where I and a lot of my friends went for our birth control because they had a sliding scale. You paid what you could afford. I had exams and talked with counselors occasionally about things such as nutrition and other general healthcare. The couple of girls I know that had abortions didn't go to PP so that's not what I think of. Now, that was decades ago and, frankly, I don't even know where any PP close to me is now.

But now that abortion is a political matter, it's no longer a matter of a personal healthcare decision which is what it should be. And that's probably all I should say.

Then, of course, there's the discussion about is it more common it is for men to be child abusers who are not the ones having the abortion.

 

[Madmarsha]

Nevermind, let me rephrase that, only rich peope would be able to have kids because they'll payy off the ones who do the tests... the US would cease to exist in 60 years

Oh, I thought you were going into a Handmaid's Tale direction, I.E. having only surrogates birth their children.

 

[Madmarsha]

While I get the sentiment, I don't think it's at all practical. And who gets to decide what "good" parenting looks like? I think you open more cons of worms doing this than not.

I wasn't a very good parent in the sense of knowing what I was doing early on, but it was a bit of trial and error and learning what works and what doesn't work for me. All my 4 kids are grown and doing well now, but a lot of it was live and learn.

I like your typo "cons of worms".

I think it's okay to not know what you're doing at first. After all, kids are people and they tend to be people, I.E. not all the same. I had a great example for parents but I'm sure they didn't know what they were doing at first either. It may take more than, Don't beat your kids, to be a good parent .. but that's a good start.

It's like dogs. I want to give every unwanted dog a home and I just can't. But I could do that easier than I could kids. CPS doesn't work.

 

[Tapxe]

A study was done years ago that linked the drop in crime in the early 90's not to the "War on crime, the War on Drugs, or the War on Christmas" but rather to Roe v. Wade, which by way of abortions decreased the umber of unwanted children in the country. Unwanted children, so the theory holds, are more likely to be engaged in crime, drug use, and other unsavory activities. I support this notion.

At any rate, those who are pro-life need to support the child before and after birth by way of mother/baby well-checks, SNAP and WIC programs, Head Start, paid maternal leave, and every other program that gives a child a fighting chance in this country. To say you're "pro-life" and not support these programs is hypocrisy pure and simple.

I'd also add that one of the bigger drops would be to stop some of the puritan ideas around birth control and sex.

Colorado's success with increasing access to long-acting reversible contraception (LARC) | Department of Public Health & Environment

Colorado’s journey to national leadership in family planning and its success in improving health outcomes while lowering state costs are documented in this report. Read the January 2017 report: Taking the Unintend

cdphe.colorado.gov

Thanks in large part to the Colorado Family Planning Initiative:

• Teen birth rate was nearly cut in half.
• Teen abortion rate was nearly cut in half.
• Births to women without a high school education fell 38 percent.
• Second and higher order births to teens were cut by 57 percent.
• Birth rate among young women ages 20-24 was cut by 20 percent.
• Average age of first birth increased by 1.2 years among all women.
• Rapid repeat births declined by 12 percent among all women.
• Costs avoided: $66.1-$69.6 million.

 

[saintmdterps]

That's not how I took what he said. It's simply stating his POV. He thinks people simply make poor or bad choices. He's not saying they're worthless or judging them. Just explaining what's behind people's actions. I think it's more complicated than that, but I get his sentiment.

People make bad choices for many reasons. Lack of education in the area the choice was made, mental illness which short circuits the decision making process, or blind stupidity are just a few reasons. That the person is just “bad” is likely the least plausible reason for a poor choice.

 

[DaveXA]

People make bad choices for many reasons. Lack of education in the area the choice was made, mental illness which short circuits the decision making process, or blind stupidity are just a few reasons. That the person is just “bad” is likely the least plausible reason for a poor choice.

No doubt. I believe people act badly for all kinds of reasons. I do think most make willful decisions, but certainly there are many where mental illness, stunted growth, environmental influences all can impact that decision making.

 

[saintmdterps]

There is no test for parenting because there is no manual which one can study. I remember bringing our son home from the hospital, laying him on the bed, then looking at each other like "What now??" Thank god my mother-in-law stayed with us for 2 weeks to offer some guidance. Ever the pragmatist, she departed with the sage advice "Good luck!"

 

[bigdaddysaints]

There is no test for parenting because there is no manual which one can study. I remember bringing our son home from the hospital, laying him on the bed, then looking at each other like "What now??" Thank god my mother-in-law stayed with us for 2 weeks to offer some guidance. Ever the pragmatist, she departed with the sage advice "Good luck!"

i hear young people say stuff like "we're gonna wait to have kids until we can afford it".. good luck. if you do that, you'll never have kids..lol you have to learn how to adjust..

 

[Dago]

People make bad choices for many reasons. Lack of education in the area the choice was made, mental illness which short circuits the decision making process, or blind stupidity are just a few reasons. That the person is just “bad” is likely the least plausible reason for a poor choice.

IMO instant gratification, a lack of critical thought, lack of respect and care for those around them, and egocentrism cause the largest amount of bad decisions.