Anti Loneliness Club (1 Viewer)

[0rion]

I don‘t like the average man much, but I’d like the kind of man who joins a “friendship club” even less than I would like the average man.

That's the key....there's just levels of dislike for me.

 

[Madmarsha]

I don‘t like the average man much, but I’d like the kind of man who joins a “friendship club” even less than I would like the average man.

Especially in California.

 

[Madmarsha]

So it’s like a modern version of the Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes?

You need the secret password.

Password

Ack Ack A-Dak

 

[Nisey55]

not to get too gooey, but you people are my anti-loneliness club

Apparently I'm gooey also

 

[Optimus Prime]

In the childhood friend thread, more than one person remarked how difficult tf was for adults to make new friends, especially men

First of all, any theories on why that is?

This club is an interesting idea, curious if it will take off and spread

But as someone said I can see it easily becoming a business networking group like BNI, or guys trying to pick up women "I know you're lonely"

 

[guidomerkinsrules]

In the childhood friend thread, more than one person remarked how difficult tf was for adults to make new friends, especially men

First of all, any theories on why that is?

This club is an interesting idea, curious if it will take off and spread

But as someone said I can see it easily becoming a business networking group like BNI, or guys trying to pick up women "I know you're lonely"

i mean there are probably a good many reasons
i know that my post school friend groups were based on my creative/performance career - this is slightly different than a 'job' in that in rehearsals, et al you are accessing/expressing more aspects of your personality than you normally would 'at work' and there is a vulnerability at play that naturally lead to a supportive environment
and while it's changing a bit, i think most boys/men are still discouraged from being vulnerable and it's just hard to connect with someone if much of your energy is spent being guarded
- also, trying to think on this now, i can't think of how many positive adult male friendships i've seen in popular media??
- 'going out' for me was almost always being in a guy friend group as a way to meet girls (it wasn't necessarily the stated purpose, but that seemed the ostensible reason - and even to this day, the idea of going out with guy friends seems a prelue to something else)

random thoughts

 

[zeetes]

us beinr family, ya"ll have been with me through my wife and everything telse. my 20 anniversary was rhis week and i doegot. it hit me hard. i deel kike the dirst time i ha en't thoughts out her.sigh. going tobbed.

 

[guidomerkinsrules]

us beinr family, ya"ll have been with me through my wife and everything telse. my 20 anniversary was rhis week and i doegot. it hit me hard. i deel kike the dirst time i ha en't thoughts out her.sigh. going tobbed.

Love you

 

[saintmdterps]

You're doing it wrong. You're supposed to sign up early Jan with the rest of the New Year's resolution crowd. Make the gym all crowded for 3-5 weeks, then stop going.

Much is made about fat shaming in gyms. In my 40 years of going to a gym I've never, not once, seen anyone fat shame a person. Most of the gym rats will go out of their way to help new members because we all started somewhere.

The only demographic for which there is disdain are the New Year's resolutioners. I would estimate that 1-2% stick around after the first 1-2 months. If you're serious, you start right away. The ones who begin at Thanksgiving have a much greater chance of success than those who say "I'm going to wait a month, and that month is the fattest month of the year"

Resolutioners, get thee behind me on the leg press

$200 a month for a friendship club membership?
Planet Fitness-$10 per month
Church-free (well sorta)
Meditation group-free
Work-they actually PAY YOU!
You can also take non-credit continuing ed classes at most community colleges for a nominal fee. Art and Music classes are pretty cheap. There are also county rec and parks leagues for softball, basketball, pickleball ( ), etc.

Yes, and all ya'll my people and I wouldn't trade you for the world

 

[Grumpy Old Manatee]

Tried to join, they denied my membership. What am I to do now?

 

[saintmdterps]

In the childhood friend thread, more than one person remarked how difficult tf was for adults to make new friends, especially men

First of all, any theories on why that is?

This club is an interesting idea, curious if it will take off and spread

But as someone said I can see it easily becoming a business networking group like BNI, or guys trying to pick up women "I know you're lonely"

Perhaps because as we age we may not know what we want but we're pretty in tune with what we don't want. Also, politics have divided us further. I'm 62 and won't waste anyone else's time or my own time if I don't enjoy their company,

In short, we meet fewer people because we are busier, long since tired of the bar scene, and thus in many cases our worlds have become smaller.

 

[baarbogast]

 

[guidomerkinsrules]

I was listening to an npr piece this morning about the Nordic apprentice approach and how successful it is and allows for adaptability and how many current CEOs started as apprentices
I told my wife it ****** me off how it seems most every other country can do both simple and complex things so much better than we can

 

[saintmdterps]

I was listening to an npr piece this morning about the Nordic apprentice approach and how successful it is and allows for adaptability and how many current CEOs started as apprentices
I told my wife it ****** me off how it seems most every other country can do both simple and complex things so much better than we can

No other functioning democracy has to navigate special interests like the USA does, because in other countries that's called bribery and people go to jail.

 

[Tapxe]

"Know thyself" - Socrates

If you cannot live with yourself, what makes you think you are ready to live with others?

Most people don't want to be alone because it means they have to face themselves. I spent 5 years alone to get there. Not many people are willing to know themselves so deeply because they are terrified of admitting who they are to themselves. Yes, it's ugly at times when you tear down the illusion you have for yourself. But it's beautiful too when you find something to admire. And better still when you learn how to confront those illusions.

For me, there is nothing inherently wrong or bad about being alone. I think too many use others as a crutch to avoid themselves. I go out to eat alone. I go to movies and concerts alone. And it doesn't bother me at all because I can treat myself right. I have become selective about who I allow into my life and how I allow them to treat me. This isn't lonely, it's self care and more folks should embrace it. If you regularly treat yourself to your fave meal, book, tea, or experience even alone, then you learn that others being around more often detract from your experience.

I feel less lonely now than in 25 years of marriage. I could of course feel the other way, but by learning myself, I know I don't need others to feel valid. I feel happier and healthier with fewer high quality relationships and treating myself well in between.