Fair or Foul (Literally): Farting in front of your Spouse/Significant Other (1 Viewer)

[Brandon13]

Ugh... whatever, Assturd.

 

[sfidc3]

I have always been slim, metabolism I’m told - but I fart like a cow.

One of my best friends, grew up with him, known him since we were 3, tall and skinny....unleashes the worst silent but deadlies in history, no one comes close, he could clear a restaurant.....

 

[LAhotsauce]

I had an ex that would only fart on the toilet.

Little did she know that thing was like a damn megaphone.

 

[Zack Lee]

Please merge with the pretentious names thread. Probably none of them fart.

 

[Nisey55]

I have always been on the skinnier side and can belch the windows out of the house.
Husband doesn't find it offensive at all, sometimes it hurts his ears though.
Other times I think it freaks him out that all that noise can come out of someone so small.

 

[nolaspe]

I put this in the meme thread before but it fits in perfectly here lol...

 

[Zack Lee]

I have always been on the skinnier side and can belch the windows out of the house.
Husband doesn't find it offensive at all, sometimes it hurts his ears though.
Other times I think it freaks him out that all that noise can come out of someone so small.

hole E shirt. Not offensive but if it can hurt ears that is impressive

 

[Nisey55]

hole E shirt. Not offensive but if it can hurt ears that is impressive

It's extremely impressive. I had an aunt that was even louder than me.

 

[sfidc3]

It's extremely impressive. I had an aunt that was even louder than me.

My neice and god-daughter are similarly talented.....

 

[Nisey55]

My neice and god-daughter are similarly talented.....

 

[saintmdterps]

Had a bit of a detour discussing this in the Funny Memes thread, then came across this article

What say you?
==============================================================

The prosecution: Astrid​

It’s offensive, it stinks, it’s disrespectful and it kills the romance between us

I will always go to the bathroom to fart rather than doing it in front of my boyfriend Alex. We’ve been together for eight years and I’ve always followed this rule. I expect him to do the same, but he rarely does.

Farting in front of anyone is not a symptom of societal collapse – but it is morally offensive and kills the romance when you do it in front of your partner. It also signifies a breakdown in respect. That may sound extreme but I stand by it. Farting is also really gross. You could be forcing fecal particles up people’s noses. Ew.

When Alex farts, I have to leave the room for at least five minutes to let it disperse. Alex claims that his farts don’t smell, but they definitely do. There is a total ban on open farts on my side of the relationship, but it’s not upheld by him.

When Alex wants to fart now, he tries to make a joke out of it. He will say: “Oh, those bugs are here again” and pretend to stamp on them. He’ll let out a fart when he’s stamping in an effort to disguise the sound. I’ll ask: “What’s that noise?” And he will say: “Oops! It’s the fart bugs.”

Recently he was trying to fix a doorknob and he said, “Oh no, it’s very squeaky,” and farted as he twisted it. I don’t think it’s all that funny but that’s his latest shtick. He has a very childish sense of humour, even though he’s 32.............

The defence: Alex​

Farting is healthy, and it’s funny, too. Besides, hers smell worse than mine

I hope I’ll continue to laugh about farts until the day I die. Farting is always funny and lightens the mood. I have experienced some great comic moments that were centered on a fart.

Upon reflection, though, I do find it funnier when one of my friends or I fart than when Astrid does. Is that sexist? Probably. But I’m just being honest. I agree with her that it takes away from the sexiness of the relationship. It’s not a good idea to just let rip in front of your partner all the time. But we’ve been together so long now, so it’s kind of like whatever.

Yes, it’s true that I do more of the farting in the relationship but I just can’t help it. She has always stressed that she finds farting in front of each other intolerable, but we’ve been together eight years now and it just sort of happens – better out than in, I always say. I see farting as pretty funny. And it is a completely natural part of being human.

The jokes that I make with the bug noises came about when Astrid and I were travelling in Colombia, and met an older man in a hostel. The guy farted within the first 30 seconds of meeting us. He said, “Oh no, it’s a trumpet-bug!” to lighten the mood and I found it hilarious. It’s stayed with me and I now use that line whenever I need to fart. Astrid is rarely amused, though.

I don’t think I’m the fartiest guy in the world. It just happens when it happens. It’s probably worse to hold them in; it can’t be healthy, so I never do that. I think Astrid saves hers up for when we’re reading in bed at night.............

It's better than letting one rip in church. I remember trying to ease one out and wound up waxing thunderous instead. It abounded and resounded and rebounded off that wooden pew and all around the sanctuary. Ain't nowhere to hide.

 

[Mr. Blue Sky]

I will always go to the bathroom to fart rather than doing it in front of my boyfriend Alex.

Now THIS is the SaintsReport that we all signed up for !

 

[Optimus Prime]

It's better than letting one rip in church. I remember trying to ease one out and wound up waxing thunderous instead. It abounded and resounded and rebounded off that wooden pew and all around the sanctuary. Ain't nowhere to hide.

How did that go over?

Laughs?

Embarrassment from your family?

Shocked gasps, and condemnation, ‘how DARE you?! In the House of God!?’

 

[saintmdterps]

How did that go over?

Laughs?

Embarrassment from your family?

Shocked gasps, and condemnation, ‘how DARE you?! In the House of God!?’

Some sideways glances. Most of them probably thinking "I'm glad it wasn't me done that"

 

[Mr. Blue Sky]

How did that go over?

Im guessing it went over…………. Like a fart in church ?