CapitalCitySaint
99% Practice; 1% Theory
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Since we've all known each other for awhile, thought I'd post this as sort of a stream of consciousness since sometimes it helps to not only write things out but to discuss them with unbiased people with varying experiences.
I've been at my company for 6.5 years. I work in life sciences/clinical development. When I was hired , despite my company being a for-profit organization, was funded by a $30M government grant. We were like a start-up within a large global for-profit. The goal of this grant was to subsidize support to other grant funded projects to accelerate development of their therapies as well as for us to grow the ecosystem in this area. It has been really rewarding and I have learned a lot. That being said, it was badly mismanaged since about 2020 to now and my initial team that was created has all been disbanded and absorbed into other business units(after already being reduced to really just me due to attrition & failure to back-fill). Not that there was much of a team left (just my former boss and me). It's honestly tragic that this was not used to create a sustainable model the way it was designed but that's water under the bridge now.
None of the leaders they put in place were ever the right fit to really grow the program since my first boss that hired me into the company and tbh, this is a direct reflection on my VP and how he deflected and fumbled the hiring process for those who held the role over the years (there were 4 since I started) in addition to not holding people accountable. He's really great at a lot of things but people management is not one of them. The last 2 years under my most recent boss were probably the worst in my life professionally. She is a con artist, liar and narcissistic. I could go into detail but it's not relevant.
Since the funding for my team ended in 2024, my boss and I were to move to another business unit more closely aligned with what we do. My VP (knowing exactly how I feel about my boss and never doing anything about any of the very blatant policy violations on top of her not doing any work) asked me if instead of moving with my boss to the new business unit, if I'd like to stay on his team because he really needed my help to manage a program we have with a large government entity. I agreed.
That being said, the options were not ideal: follow Hitler to the new business unit or stay in our current where I am not really inspired/aligned but work for my VP who is sane, honest and 95% great to work for. It's our Consulting arm. I generally find the consultants to do a lot of talking, usually about things they are not qualified to speak on and rarely do they add any value. My VP needed me to run the program because our consultants are not good at all with program management. They are good at over-complicating things, talking a lot and making PPT decks.
The program is so large and complex and there are like 5 of us running it in some capacity, responsibilities are split up - none full time as everyone has other client work to do. I am so bored. While it is a very large and complex project, this stuff is not hard. It's only kind of hard because of the size and how Frankenstein it is with too many chefs in the kitchen and stakeholders to appease.
I make really good money although if things continue the way they are here in Cali, I will be making poverty wages before long. I hate this job, y'all. I'm hesitant to look for something else due to the upcoming presidential change (which could and likely will impact my industry) and all of the people he wants to put in his cabinet that oversee NIH, FDA, DOD etc. My work is fully funded for 2 more years.
I also have grown to hate working a desk job. Sitting on my azzz all day is beginning to wear on me. Working from home is beginning to wear on me. I don't want to work in an office full time but would be good to get in a different environment 1-2 days per week. I'd like a job where I don't have to spend so much time at a desk but would be really tough to make the kind of money I do.
Everyone is very territorial and fighting over things. I literally told this guy who I am mentoring and who is co-managing the program with me when he was complaining about one of the other people on our team doing things I was like "I don't understand this because for me, I just don't care. " If people want to take on more workload so they can seem busy to leadership then cool. The less I have to do, the better off I am. I carried my team on my back almost alone and without support since 2020. While I got 2 promotions from it, publicly I have never gotten any recognition for keeping things in steady state operations, achieving our milestones & exceeding revenue targets while also having to manage the client projects - all by myself. I have never felt more uninspired in my entire life career wise.
Is this a me thing? Is this how we get as we age? Anyone else ever feel like "eff this...I want to switch careers" and if so, did you? How'd it turn out? I don't expect every single day at work to provide evidence of some sort of self-fulfillment but I'd at least like to work where I kind of care about at least some of the things.
This scene from Office Space sums up almost exactly how I feel (though I have way more than 15 minutes of work).
I've been at my company for 6.5 years. I work in life sciences/clinical development. When I was hired , despite my company being a for-profit organization, was funded by a $30M government grant. We were like a start-up within a large global for-profit. The goal of this grant was to subsidize support to other grant funded projects to accelerate development of their therapies as well as for us to grow the ecosystem in this area. It has been really rewarding and I have learned a lot. That being said, it was badly mismanaged since about 2020 to now and my initial team that was created has all been disbanded and absorbed into other business units(after already being reduced to really just me due to attrition & failure to back-fill). Not that there was much of a team left (just my former boss and me). It's honestly tragic that this was not used to create a sustainable model the way it was designed but that's water under the bridge now.
None of the leaders they put in place were ever the right fit to really grow the program since my first boss that hired me into the company and tbh, this is a direct reflection on my VP and how he deflected and fumbled the hiring process for those who held the role over the years (there were 4 since I started) in addition to not holding people accountable. He's really great at a lot of things but people management is not one of them. The last 2 years under my most recent boss were probably the worst in my life professionally. She is a con artist, liar and narcissistic. I could go into detail but it's not relevant.
Since the funding for my team ended in 2024, my boss and I were to move to another business unit more closely aligned with what we do. My VP (knowing exactly how I feel about my boss and never doing anything about any of the very blatant policy violations on top of her not doing any work) asked me if instead of moving with my boss to the new business unit, if I'd like to stay on his team because he really needed my help to manage a program we have with a large government entity. I agreed.
That being said, the options were not ideal: follow Hitler to the new business unit or stay in our current where I am not really inspired/aligned but work for my VP who is sane, honest and 95% great to work for. It's our Consulting arm. I generally find the consultants to do a lot of talking, usually about things they are not qualified to speak on and rarely do they add any value. My VP needed me to run the program because our consultants are not good at all with program management. They are good at over-complicating things, talking a lot and making PPT decks.
The program is so large and complex and there are like 5 of us running it in some capacity, responsibilities are split up - none full time as everyone has other client work to do. I am so bored. While it is a very large and complex project, this stuff is not hard. It's only kind of hard because of the size and how Frankenstein it is with too many chefs in the kitchen and stakeholders to appease.
I make really good money although if things continue the way they are here in Cali, I will be making poverty wages before long. I hate this job, y'all. I'm hesitant to look for something else due to the upcoming presidential change (which could and likely will impact my industry) and all of the people he wants to put in his cabinet that oversee NIH, FDA, DOD etc. My work is fully funded for 2 more years.
I also have grown to hate working a desk job. Sitting on my azzz all day is beginning to wear on me. Working from home is beginning to wear on me. I don't want to work in an office full time but would be good to get in a different environment 1-2 days per week. I'd like a job where I don't have to spend so much time at a desk but would be really tough to make the kind of money I do.
Everyone is very territorial and fighting over things. I literally told this guy who I am mentoring and who is co-managing the program with me when he was complaining about one of the other people on our team doing things I was like "I don't understand this because for me, I just don't care. " If people want to take on more workload so they can seem busy to leadership then cool. The less I have to do, the better off I am. I carried my team on my back almost alone and without support since 2020. While I got 2 promotions from it, publicly I have never gotten any recognition for keeping things in steady state operations, achieving our milestones & exceeding revenue targets while also having to manage the client projects - all by myself. I have never felt more uninspired in my entire life career wise.
Is this a me thing? Is this how we get as we age? Anyone else ever feel like "eff this...I want to switch careers" and if so, did you? How'd it turn out? I don't expect every single day at work to provide evidence of some sort of self-fulfillment but I'd at least like to work where I kind of care about at least some of the things.
This scene from Office Space sums up almost exactly how I feel (though I have way more than 15 minutes of work).
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