Suicidal thoughts? (2 Viewers)

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general suicide thoughts, yes. Specific plan, no. That is the first two questions when they check you in. Drinking bad for some of us.

Tony, given the gravity of the thread, I must ask. Is this just a discussion topic or are you struggling? never mind, I see this answer in 2nd post
 
Zack Lee said:
general suicide thoughts, yes. Specific plan, no. That is the first two questions when they check you in. Drinking bad for some of us.

Tony, given the gravity of the thread, I must ask. Is this just a discussion topic or are you struggling? never mind, I see this answer in 2nd post
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same here....I have had general thoughts, but nothing planned or specific. I probably just don't have the guts for it lol

too concerned about what it would do to the people around me

I would imagine that the majority of people have contemplated it at one time or another....just a matter of to what degree
 
What a downer thread. I know suicide is ticking up due to the times, so it's worth discussing.

I think what's important if you are going through difficult times, is ask yourself, what do you still have that is worth living for?

If you focus on that, then whatever issue you are going through, it doesn't really matter. Everyone goes through difficult times, so it's how you respond to them.

No matter how dark a time or a season lasts, God and the Bible is my lock on life.
 
When I was younger I had them quite often. I self medicated with pot at the time. I've come to realize it was more about trying to manipulate others into showing care for me since I had an abusive family who treated me as the punching bag. I'd like to say I had no plan, but I picked out the .45 ACP round I was going to use.

I got over it recently by removing everyone from my life who was toxic and spending enough time with myself to realize I am worthy of love despite the treatment in my youth.
 
I started dealing with terrible anxiety in 2004. I didn't really know what it was, and I had a negative, ignorant, immature opinion of mental disease. As time went on, it would get worse, and bring me to some dark places mentally. Did I have them? Sure. But it was always the thought that I would do something irrational, like I wouldn't be in control of my actions. I came to grips that I was suffering with mental illness, that it was legit and nothing to be ashamed of. I got on some meds and they helped immensely. I'm still on them today, and while I do still get bouts of anxiety, I don't go into a downward spiral into dark places. If you're really asking for yourself, then get help. If asking for someone else, advise them to get help. It's worth it.
 
Tapxe said:
When I was younger I had them quite often. I self medicated with pot at the time. I've come to realize it was more about trying to manipulate others into showing care for me since I had an abusive family who treated me as the punching bag. I'd like to say I had no plan, but I picked out the .45 ACP round I was going to use.

I got over it recently by removing everyone from my life who was toxic and spending enough time with myself to realize I am worthy of love despite the treatment in my youth.
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Good on you man
 
I could write an actual book filled with my suicidal attempts, thoughts, plans, timelines and revisions.

I daydream about a universe where you could make an appointment, pay a fee, sign some papers and punch out.

Knowing I could (successfully) leave whenever I want would make my life worth living.

But not having a solid out or an escape route consumes me. Like living in a house with no windows and one tiny door that you can't easily fit through.

So yes I've had them. No, they'll never go away. It's satisfying and tortuous at the same time. Knowing exactly who you are and what you want. But having no (good) idea about how to achieve it.
 
kizzy821 said:
I could write an actual book filled with my suicidal attempts, thoughts, plans, timelines and revisions.

I daydream about a universe where you could make an appointment, pay a fee, sign some papers and punch out.

Knowing I could (successfully) leave whenever I want would make my life worth living.

But not having a solid out or an escape route consumes me. Like living in a house with no windows and one tiny door that you can't easily fit through.

So yes I've had them. No, they'll never go away. It's satisfying and tortuous at the same time. Knowing exactly who you are and what you want. But having no (good) idea about how to achieve it.
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You sound close to nirvana.

Is the next step to understand that it doesn't matter what you do next? Would it solve your achievement problem if you simply try something you think will get you there? If it's not right and you're still breathing, do you try again until you get it or you leave knowing you never gave up? Never let life beat ya mentally?

It'll beat you physically, but not mentally. That unless you give up, you tie the universe?
 
Tapxe said:
You sound close to nirvana.

Is the next step to understand that it doesn't matter what you do next? Would it solve your achievement problem if you simply try something you think will get you there? If it's not right and you're still breathing, do you try again until you get it or you leave knowing you never gave up? Never let life beat ya mentally?

It'll beat you physically, but not mentally. That unless you give up, you tie the universe?
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I don't quite know what you mean, but trying and failing at this point is unacceptable.

I have the worst luck. I would jump off a bridge and get stuck on a tree. Arse hanging there all night without proper blood circulation. Leg would die, need to be amputated and the rest of me would be just fine.

Use a gun? Would miss my ENTIRE head and shoot a hole through a pipe in the ceiling. How would I explain it to the plumber?

I have the weakest stomach known to man. Anything I ingest is gonna come right back up and land in the middle of my kitchen floor.

I have thought of it all. I'm stuck! It could be a comedy film. Then at the end, when I finally accept my fate and stop trying - I die in my sleep.

Oh and I've tried that too. To pretend like I don't want to die so I could "trick" the universe into letting me die. Yes... I've tried reverse psychology - on the universe.

I'm convinced that when it's all said and done, I will be the longest living human being on record. That's my kinda luck. SMH.
 
kizzy821 said:
I don't quite know what you mean, but trying and failing at this point is unacceptable.

I have the worst luck. I would jump off a bridge and get stuck on a tree. Arse hanging there all night without proper blood circulation. Leg would die, need to be amputated and the rest of me would be just fine.

Use a gun? Would miss my ENTIRE head and shoot a hole through a pipe in the ceiling. How would I explain it to the plumber?

I have the weakest stomach known to man. Anything I ingest is gonna come right back up and land in the middle of my kitchen floor.

I have thought of it all. I'm stuck! It could be a comedy film. Then at the end, when I finally accept my fate and stop trying - I die in my sleep.

Oh and I've tried that too. To pretend like I don't want to die so I could "trick" the universe into letting me die. Yes... I've tried reverse psychology - on the universe.

I'm convinced that when it's all said and done, I will be the longest living human being on record. That's my kinda luck. SMH.
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I laughed out loud.

We're happy you're here.
 

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