Dating (1 Viewer)

[saintmdterps]

It seems many of us are in @guidomerkinsrules situation. Ergo, we may be looking to enter the dating world albeit sometimes against our will. I'm 63 and this is not how I drew it up in the sand. My second relationship in this millennium self-immolated after one month right before Thanksgiving.

I'm not fond of online dating, so I'm back to the old-fashioned way. I did try Facebook Dating because it was free and let me dip my toes in the pool. I got no matches in my hometown. Everyone was from 1-5 hours away. I got two dates from it but no second dates with either. One lived 2.5 hours away and the other generated no spark.

Last week I connected on Facebook with an old coworker whose husband passed away from cancer just over a year ago. She has popped in and out of my life and we have a lot in common. Odd thing is that I have not actually seen her in about 4 years, and her Facebook photos are older than that. At any rate, we're meeting at a local bar tomorrow for a couple drinks and appetizers. I have no expectations.

Happiness is reality minus expectations.

How do you folks navigate the brave new world of dating? Especially if you're older and coming off a long marriage. Like I said, I've had two relationships in this millennium and one was my 21 year marriage

 

[guidomerkinsrules]

It seems many of us are in @guidomerkinsrules situation. Ergo, we may be looking to enter the dating world albeit sometimes against our will. I'm 63 and this is not how I drew it up in the sand. My second relationship in this millennium self-immolated after one month right before Thanksgiving.

I'm not fond of online dating, so I'm back to the old-fashioned way. I did try Facebook Dating because it was free and let me dip my toes in the pool. I got no matches in my hometown. Everyone was from 1-5 hours away. I got tow dates from it but no second dates with either. one lived 2.5 hours away and the other generated no spark.

Last week I connected on Facebook with an old coworker whose husband passed away from cancer just over a year ago. She has popped in and out of my life and we have a lot in common. Odd thing is that I have not seen her in about 4 years. At any rate, we're meeting at a local bar tomorrow for a couple drinks and appetizers. I have no expectations. we'll see.. Happiness is reality minus expectations.

How do you folks navigate the brave new world of dating? Especially if you're older and coming off a long marriage. Like I said, I've had two relationships in this millennium and one was my 21 year marriage

Is it time for ‘the talk’ young man?

 

[saintmdterps]

Is it time for ‘the talk’ young man?

That horse done bolted the stable back in Early November

Not gonna lie, she was fun. However, I learned several things:
1) Do not ignore red flags
2) I like being in a relationship. The physical and emotional closeness were both fulfilling.

 

[CapitalCitySaint]

Well y'all know my story from November. I do not do online dating - if I don't meet people organically, it doesn't happen.

On Sunday, I went to the beach to walk the beach and catch the sunset. As I was walking back to my car, I heard "excuse me" (there had not been anyone in my vicinity prior to that). I turned around and this really handsome guy was approaching. He was like "hi, I just wanted to say that you are really beautiful and I was wondering if I could get your number?'

While he was very handsome and had great teeth, I immediately was like "oh I don't know". He's all what does that mean, I don't know. I said how old are you because I guarantee you I am way too old for you. He says "I'm 31 and there's no way you're that much older than me".

People often assume I am in my early 30's. I said I am 45 years old and I am too old for you. He was persistent and was like come on, it's just a number. Age doesn't matter. blah blah blah So, against my better judgment, I gave him my number thinking like well, maybe I could like him enough to just want to fork. That was literally the extent of our exchange.

He texted me before I could even pull out of the parking lot. His spelling immediately pissed me off. He sent a text: I wanna take u on a nice date! He had not even bothered to ask me anything about myself at this point. Nor did he ask about my interests, etc. We literally exchanged like 3 texts each that evening then before I went to bed, he had texted me "goodnight beauty". I never replied to that.

Y'all....I cannot. Like sir, we are strangers. Do not start this sheet. It's way too soon to be sending goodnight messages and pet names. I met you 4 hours ago.

Then he texted the next day and asked what I was up to so I asked what he was doing in return after telling him I was prepping for a meeting in the morning. He said he was working. I asked what he did for work, he said advertising (very vague) and has a side gig at night but did not say what that was. He then asked what I do so I was vague and said I worked in biotech. Y'all, this kid replies "I'm not getting scientist vibes so I'm thinking you are management". It was at that moment that I was like I am so done with these exchanges. Now, he's not wrong but it was the fact that he jumped to conclusions and said what he did that I found off-putting. So I did reply and told him I was a molecular biologist. LOL He was like "Oh wow. Brains and beauty." I didn't reply to that and he later asked what I was up to Saturday night. I didn't reply to that either. Thinking that he got the picture that I was not feeling this situation, I received a text from him today saying "Morning beauty".

I want to shoot myself. I should have upheld my boundary with not giving my number to a child. lol

 

[Eeyore]

Early in a relationship you're wearing rose colored glasses. There are no red flags.

 

[CapitalCitySaint]

Early in a relationship you're wearing rose colored glasses. There are no red flags.

Only if you’re a dummy.

 

[Jeff]

It seems many of us are in @guidomerkinsrules situation. Ergo, we may be looking to enter the dating world albeit sometimes against our will. I'm 63 and this is not how I drew it up in the sand. My second relationship in this millennium self-immolated after one month right before Thanksgiving.

I'm not fond of online dating, so I'm back to the old-fashioned way. I did try Facebook Dating because it was free and let me dip my toes in the pool. I got no matches in my hometown. Everyone was from 1-5 hours away. I got tow dates from it but no second dates with either. one lived 2.5 hours away and the other generated no spark.

Last week I connected on Facebook with an old coworker whose husband passed away from cancer just over a year ago. She has popped in and out of my life and we have a lot in common. Odd thing is that I have not seen her in about 4 years. At any rate, we're meeting at a local bar tomorrow for a couple drinks and appetizers. I have no expectations. we'll see.. Happiness is reality minus expectations.

How do you folks navigate the brave new world of dating? Especially if you're older and coming off a long marriage. Like I said, I've had two relationships in this millennium and one was my 21 year marriage

I wish I had something useful to add. I really haven't tried overly much to reenter the dating scene since losing my wife back in '22 (to cancer). A brief foray did end with "not wanting to be someone's second choice". Not sure what I did to trigger it but at the same time, if that's their perception, valid enough for me. I think Widowhood can be a pretty sensitive situation for both parties. Best of luck. I think, "Happiness is reality minus expectations" is a great mantra for this...or any endeavor, really.

 

[kcirdor]

Well y'all know my story from November. I do not do online dating - if I don't meet people organically, it doesn't happen.

On Sunday, I went to the beach to walk the beach and catch the sunset. As I was walking back to my car, I heard "excuse me" (there had not been anyone in my vicinity prior to that). I turned around and this really handsome guy was approaching. He was like "hi, I just wanted to say that you are really beautiful and I was wondering if I could get your number?'

While he was very handsome and had great teeth, I immediately was like "oh I don't know". He's all what does that mean, I don't know. I said how old are you because I guarantee you I am way too old for you. He says "I'm 31 and there's no way you're that much older than me".

People often assume I am in my early 30's. I said I am 45 years old and I am too old for you. He was persistent and was like come on, it's just a number. Age doesn't matter. blah blah blah So, against my better judgment, I gave him my number thinking like well, maybe I could like him enough to just want to fork. That was literally the extent of our exchange.

He texted me before I could even pull out of the parking lot. His spelling immediately pissed me off. He sent a text: I wanna take u on a nice date! He had not even bothered to ask me anything about myself at this point. Nor did he ask about my interests, etc. We literally exchanged like 3 texts each that evening then before I went to bed, he had texted me "goodnight beauty". I never replied to that.

Y'all....I cannot. Like sir, we are strangers. Do not start this sheet. It's way too soon to be sending goodnight messages and pet names. I met you 4 hours ago.

Then he texted the next day and asked what I was up to so I asked what he was doing in return after telling him I was prepping for a meeting in the morning. He said he was working. I asked what he did for work, he said advertising (very vague) and has a side gig at night but did not say what that was. He then asked what I do so I was vague and said I worked in biotech. Y'all, this kid replies "I'm not getting scientist vibes so I'm thinking you are management". It was at that moment that I was like I am so done with these exchanges. Now, he's not wrong but it was the fact that he jumped to conclusions and said what he did that I found off-putting. So I did reply and told him I was a molecular biologist. LOL He was like "Oh wow. Brains and beauty." I didn't reply to that and he later asked what I was up to Saturday night. I didn't reply to that either. Thinking that he got the picture that I was not feeling this situation, I received a text from him today saying "Morning beauty".

I want to shoot myself. I should have upheld my boundary with not giving my number to a child. lol

Tell us how the date goes... lol

 

[zeetes]

fork dating.

 

[Grumpy Old Manatee]

fork dating.

Carbon and tree rings wish to have a word with you…

 

[CapitalCitySaint]

Tell us how the date goes... lol

lol. There will be no date.

 

[saintmdterps]

lol. There will be no date.

I believe CCS has spoken.

 

[saintmdterps]

I wish I had something useful to add. I really haven't tried overly much to reenter the dating scene since losing my wife back in '22 (to cancer). A brief foray did end with "not wanting to be someone's second choice". Not sure what I did to trigger it but at the same time, if that's their perception, valid enough for me. I think Widowhood can be a pretty sensitive situation for both parties. Best of luck. I think, "Happiness is reality minus expectations" is a great mantra for this...or any endeavor, really.

The woman I'm seeing tomorrow lost her husband to cancer, but she alluded to finding out something after his demise that really upset her. I'll go with the most likely scenario which is infidelity. She spoke about not being able to trust again, and the frustration of being unable to confront him about it and her ensuing anger.

I don't know exactly what transpired. I didn't push her on it. She'll tell me if and when she's comfortable.

Damn brother, I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[CapitalCitySaint]

The woman I'm seeing tomorrow lost her husband to cancer, but she alluded to finding out something after his demise that really upset her. I'll go with the most likely scenario which is infidelity. She spoke about not being able to trust again, and the frustration of being unable to confront him about it and her ensuing anger.

I don't know exactly what transpired. I didn't push her on it. She'll tell me if and when she's comfortable.

Damn brother, I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[Jeff]

The woman I'm seeing tomorrow lost her husband to cancer, but she alluded to finding out something after his demise that really upset her. I'll go with the most likely scenario which is infidelity. She spoke about not being able to trust again, and the frustration of being unable to confront him about it and her ensuing anger.

I don't know exactly what transpired. I didn't push her on it. She'll tell me if and when she's comfortable.

Damn brother, I'm sorry for your loss.

Thanks. Thankfully, I never had the above on my bingo card. Can't even begin to imagine.