Dating (2 Viewers)

[Mr. Blue Sky]

The worst was dating someone for 2 months and finding out she was married.

Recently found out that a woman ive been seeing has had a live-in boyfriend the entire time we’ve been together.. Luckily i wasnt that into her and she had been acting a little too clingy; if that were not the case, and if id had strong feelings for her- id be devastated… still, the sheer depth and variety of the lies she had to tell is pretty breathtaking.. it’s remarkable actually.. im kinda curious how she pulled it off, but not curious enough to re-establish contact and ask her .. just gonna take it as a lesson, and live and learn .. more than anyhting, i feel bad for the boyfriend, who has no idea his live-in gf (and possibly fiancee’ ?) is basically living a double life .

 

[guidomerkinsrules]

I knew you guys would think I was making fun. I'm not actually making fun @saintmdterps. I'm slightly more empathetic than that.

Ah, then I retract maybe 37% of the charge

Now, if YOU post something like that @guidomerkinsrules , I'd be slightly LESS empathetic than that. We have a friendly feud to keep up after all.

It’s our like language

 

[CapitalCitySaint]

wait wait wait
Terps was genuinely sharing his experience and y’all want to clown him?

Not at all. But I do have a bad habit of pointing out the obvious- when I’m not the one in the situation. It’s hard to see things for what they are and balance your perspective when you’re the one in it. Also, when it comes to red flags in relationships that are new, I am an expert because I’ve already done all that ish myself. I am happy to say that I no longer fall for these traps. The pendulum has probably swing a little too far in the opposite direction for me but it does save me a lot of time and unnecessary grief.

Any feedback provided is out of love for our Saints Brethren

 

[guidomerkinsrules]

Recently found out that a woman ive been seeing has had a live-in boyfriend the entire time we’ve been together.. Luckily i wasnt that into her and she had been coming on too strong; if that were not the case, and if id had strong feelings for her- id be devastated… still, the sheer depth and variety of the lies she had to tell is pretty breathtaking.. it’s remarkable actually.. im kinda curious how she pulled it off, but not curious enough to re-establish contact and ask her .. just gonna take it as a lesson, and live and learn .

I’d dated a woman who was separated from her husband but bc of NYC rent they still lived together
In time I realized that she was using me to help cushion her fall
all in all I didn’t mind

 

[saintmdterps]

I have not heard that one before.

Fixt. Freudian slip...

 

[saintmdterps]

Wait, I just read this post again in its entirety.

Y’all met and she let you in her house the same day you met her? Kissed in the park until you had chapped lips?

All that comes to mind when I read this was to burst out in song with Frank Ocean’s Sierra Leone when he says “we’re behaving like teenagers” lol

Lol this was a lot dude.

I do real estate signings as a side job. She was a client at 8am on a Saturday morning. We hit it off and went out that evening. Yes it was reckless. I needed it and wanted it after being in the Sahara for years

Splitting hairs maybe, but rash, impetuous, or impulsive may all be better terms.

 

[Mr. Blue Sky]

I’d dated a woman who was separated from her husband but bc of NYC rent they still lived together
In time I realized that she was using me to help cushion her fall
all in all I didn’t mind

Yeah that’s not so bad.. in my situation, i minded b/c of the deception.. she finally came clean at the end (after i sorta busted her) and said she’d been dating the guy for two years and living together for a year .. “Oh”, i thought “THAT”s why she never invited me over !”… duh.. i thought b/c i live in the city and she’s in the burbs, she just liked coming here to hang out lol…. We actually had a few weeks where we were “on a break” and in that time i was dating someone else- but not at the same time, and DEFINITELY not living together .

 

[saintmdterps]

There’s love and then there’s being reckless.

You do realize you're talking to an ex-drag racer? If I had the money I'd be at the track this weekend.

Adrenaline rushes take many forms. Falling in love fits into those same dopamine receptors. Looks like it's back to the 12-step program...

 

[saintmdterps]

Not at all. But I do have a bad habit of pointing out the obvious- when I’m not the one in the situation. It’s hard to see things for what they are and balance your perspective when you’re the one in it. Also, when it comes to red flags in relationships that are new, I am an expert because I’ve already done all that ish myself. I am happy to say that I no longer fall for these traps. The pendulum has probably swing a little too far in the opposite direction for me but it does save me a lot of time and unnecessary grief.

Any feedback provided is out of love for our Saints Brethren

And yet you're the one who handed out her phone number to a parking lot dude she just met whose only immediate qualification was good teeth. That was reckless behavior

I appreciate what all y'all say, and the vein in which you say it. No offense intended and none taken.

 

[Madmarsha]

And yet you're the one who handed out her phone number to a parking lot dude with the good teeth she just met. That was reckless behavior

Even Jada thinks you've made a good point.

 

[sfidc3]

My point was only in the similar nature of the text, not the appropriateness of the text. He was way off base.

It’s been a long time since I did this. Yeah we jumped the gun. She led, I followed in that regard. After living in an emotional desert the last couple years of my marriage, this was like drinking from a fire hose.

Love does have a different timetable for different folks.

Though we were almost certainly doomed, it sure was fun while it lasted and had some beautiful moments

This is similar to an experience one of my best friends had.....he was married to a horrible woman, honestly, one of the worst persons I've ever met (male or female).....she was a control freak, had multiple issues, selfish to the point of trying to freeze him out of everything, I had to convince him to get a divorce lawyer.....they had 2 kids that were both college aged when it all went down, she couldn't have cared less about them....he was the parent that actually parented....

Once he did things got better for him almost immediately, and shortly after the divorce he met a woman I knew wasn't good for him but he had been as Terp said "in the desert for so long" it didn't matter.....it started, was good for him while it lasted and it ended.....

I'm not one to judge, his were hard shoes to be in at the time....he came out of it mostly unscathed, which is what I was most concerned about and now he is fine, he reconnected with his 1st ever girlfriend and they started seeing each other over 4 years ago, still going strong.....she is literally the opposite of his ex.....I'm happy for him.....hope you find happiness soon to my man Terp.....

 

[CapitalCitySaint]

And yet you're the one who handed out her phone number to a parking lot dude with the good teeth she just met. That was reckless behavior

I appreciate what all y'all say, and the vein in which you say it. No offense intended and none taken.

Handing out a phone number is quite different than letting someone I don't know, know where I live and have them inside the place I live. This is how we end up dead.

I did google his phone number and learned that he is a real estate agent. Given what you just said above about your side gig....

He did have really great teeth. Like some of the nicest natural teeth I've ever seen. I had adult orthodontia so my appreciation of great teeth runs deep. LOL

 

[CapitalCitySaint]

Even Jada thinks you've made a good point.

Genuinely curious as to how exchanging phone numbers considered reckless?

 

[CapitalCitySaint]

If I had the money I'd be at the track this weekend.

You could always go back to work in corporate America