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saintmdterps
Falling feels like flying til you hit the ground.
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You and I are almost the same age and have had some similar traumatic life experiences, but doesn't almost everyone eventually?I grew up Lutheran, going to church regularly while I still lived at home since my parents are very religious. When I moved away, at first for school, to get married I didn't get to church very often.
Almost 15 years ago I was told that I had stage 2 cancer and I had 50/50 chance of surviving 3 years. At the time I had just turned 30 and I felt invincible. I didn't even feel sick since the cancer was discovered during what was supposed to be a totally routine non urgent procedure. To make a long story short about a very tough year with surgeries and chemo, I pulled through and became one of the lucky ones.
Then a few years later I almost lost my husband, when he contracted an acute infection of the membrane that surrounds the heart, and spend 3 month in hospital. But he managed to survive the infection without any serious permanent damage,
During the process I found God again. Not quite the god of my childhood but a deep and personal religious belief. Until this day I still believe someone was watching out for us.
But because of all this we both try to live our life to the fullest each day. Try to remember the little things that is important and take time to fullfill some of our dreams like hangliding, swimming with sharks, climbing a mountain, or going to a concert with your favorite singer, or a football game with your favorite team. You never know what the day will bring, you can only try to do the best you can and put your faith in God as well.
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You appear to have the kind of Faith that is inspirational and experiential as oposed to dogmatic. Likely we see slightly different aspects of the same immanent God.