Why do women do this? Part 2 (3 Viewers)

[Paul]

Yeah, I figured that, I mean I wondered why I was being kept around. I think it was more of keeping her options open and I was gonna be a last resort. I think it was pretty sinister on her part now that I think about it. At the end of the day I know I am better than she is because I would have never done that to someone, I would have been upfront about it. I really hope it snowballs with the guy she's chasing and kicks herself for screwing up what she had, she doesn't even know how good she had it.

Well, you handled your business correctly, IMO, but the reason she did that is women (some, not all), like to have a bird in the hand, if I may. In a woman's mind, once she knows you have feelings for her, you become the "ace" up her sleeve. You're the guy, (not boyfriend or husband) that buys her birthday presents, takes her out from time to time, goes to the spot where she has a flat tire, or picks her up when she needs a ride, etc. etc. etc - the list goes on and on - basically, being used. You're hoping that one day you'll get at least a peck on the lips or a spark or something - and it can drag out forever, or until you decide to cut it off.

Dude, I've seen guys like that my whole teenage-adult life - with my girl cousins, my aunt, hell, even my three sisters. I always felt bad for those dudes.

 

[coldseat]

Well, you handled your business correctly, IMO, but the reason she did that is women (some, not all), like to have a bird in the hand, if I may. In a woman's mind, once she knows you have feelings for her, you become the "ace" up her sleeve. You're the guy, (not boyfriend or husband) that buys her birthday presents, takes her out from time to time, goes to the spot where she has a flat tire, or picks her up when she needs a ride, etc. etc. etc - the list goes on and on - basically, being used. You're hoping that one day you'll get at least a peck on the lips or a spark or something - and it can drag out forever, or until you decide to cut it off.

Dude, I've seen guys like that my whole teenage-adult life - with my girl cousins, my aunt, hell, even my three sisters. I always felt bad for those dudes.

So your basically saying that dude was Forest Gump to her Jenny.

 

[CarMike]

Yep Women are fricken weird, heres my story.

There was this woman I liked for a long time, I told her how I felt and she basically told me she was chasing someone else that she had liked, I said fine, I told her thats cool, I understand, a few days later I told her was going to take my leave of her because I would only hinder the situation because I had strong feelings for her and I decided to let her go because it wouldn't be fair to just BS about it say it didn't bother me. I think it would of just led to an ugly situation had I not done that.

She got so emo and mad, I don't know what was expected of me. I thought I handled the situation with class, I complemented her, told her I hope it works out with the said guy because she deserves the very best, I wished her well and said hopefully we can talk again some day down the line.

She went bat S*** insane about it, I don't know what else I could have done. I felt like I did the right thing which I was always brought up to do.

Sounds to me she wanted to keep you on the sideline in case it didn't work out with the guy she really wanted. I think you handled it well. And you completely cut her off it'll make it even better for you. For some odd reason women LOVE it when guys treat them like s***. You ignore her for a while and she'll come running back to you. At least that has happened to me in the past.

 

[Firecross]

I hope so, I have a lot of unpleasant things to say. I have been using it as motivation to finish my weight loss though, It has me mad enough to walk 10 miles a day.

27 more lbs to go!

 

[Optimus Prime]

1. Women want exactly what they want, exactly when they want it and exactly how they want it.

And yet for some reason they refuse to TELL you exactly what they want, exactly when they want it and exactly how they want it

I'm surprised you even got a woman to pick a place to eat. It's always "I don't care you pick", but they do care. They just want you to name off 100 places until they pick the one they want to go to.

I can't even count how many times I've been through this.

In my head, I was thinking, man why doesn't she just say from jump street that she wants a salad from "___________________"? My guess is, some women don't want to seem controlling or demanding so they make you THINK you have a choice or make it seem like you are the one who actually chose the place, since you suggested this.

Could be.

A friend once told me another theory that a woman thinks that she is telling you what she wants and from her point of view couldn't be more obvious about it by dropping "hints" that any fool, certainly anyone who "really loves" and really knows her, should pick up on. And that's why she gets so upset when you don't "know" what she wants

Problem is the "hints" are subtle to the point of non-existance

 

[Optimus Prime]

I have a conference that I'm going to this weekend out of town for work.

I am going to be giving an hour long speech to about 50-60 people.

I've been working on the speech and powerpoint all week. I finished it yesterday well after midnight.

Girlfriend is all pissy saying that I should have spent that time with her and should have finished the speech at the hotel.

WHAT!!!

I should stop working on this very important thing for work and spend that time with you instead and work on it last minute at the hotel, and miss out on seeing some colleages I haven't seen in months just because I'm going away for a few days!! That made me furious

She is also acting like I'm going to be deployed overseas for a year and that I squandered the last precious few hours we have together.

It's FRIDAY and I'm coming back on TUESDAY!!!!!!

 

[SteelMagnola]

I have a conference that I'm going to this weekend out of town for work.

I am going to be giving an hour long speech to about 50-60 people.

I've been working on the speech and powerpoint all week. I finished it yesterday well after midnight.

Girlfriend is all pissy saying that I should have spent that time with her and should have finished the speech at the hotel.

WHAT!!!

I should stop working on this very important thing for work and spend that time with you instead and work on it last minute at the hotel, and miss out on seeing some colleages I haven't seen in months just because I'm going away for a few days!! That made me furious

She is also acting like I'm going to be deployed overseas for a year and that I squandered the last precious few hours we have together.

It's FRIDAY and I'm coming back on TUESDAY!!!!!!

dump her!

 

[Hercule]

dump her!

No, really. All women aren't like that Optimus. Get yourself a cool chick who understands you, or die of a heart attack in ten years. Life's too short, etc.

 

[Sun Wukong]

Yeah, that really isn't normal behavior at all. Every girl I've ever dated has understood the importance of school/work related stuff.

 

[Sackhappysaint]

This isn't just my girlfriend, this is every girl I've ever dated for any length of time going back to the 8th grade.

Here's the scenario:

I call her up

ME: "Hey, do you want to get together for dinner tonight?"

HER: "Oh, I can't tonight. I have to work late" or "I'm not feeling well" or "I'm going out with some girlfriends tonight" or "I'm really tired, going to bed early" or " I have a big test, need to study" or whatever.

ME: "No problem, we'll do it another time" and it's no problem, I go find something else to do with myself.

The "why women do this" part is when the roles are reversed

HER: "Hey, do you want to get together for dinner tonight?"

ME: "Oh, I can't tonight. I have to work late" or "I'm not feeling well" or "I'm going out with some friends tonight" or "I'm really tired, going to bed early" or " I have a big test, need to study" or whatever.


SHE: (Proceeds to act like her whole world just collapsed, and then gets sad or mad or both)

WHY????

This is absolutely true. I've seen it with all the girls I've dated, my friends' girlfriends, my female friends and coworkers do it to their boyfriends/husbands.

It confuses me.

Selfishness and insecurity. Wonderful combo. Luckily I never went after girls like this during my dating year. Well, not for more than one night.

 

[krushing]

Why is the sky blue? Why is the sun hot? Why do the falcons suck? Some questions will never be answered. It is the way it is! Get used to it.

 

[parlorcitysaint]

Without reading the thread, I'll take a stab at an answer to "Why do Women do This?"

It's "The Technique". You're doing it wrong.

Talk to Ross. Maybe he can give you a refresher.

 

[TheDeparted]

If it Flies, Floats or ***** -- rent it.