Why do women do this? Part 2

[LKN H20Girl]

So let me ask some of you who are a lot more wiser than I am. What are the chances she ever talks to me again? It is my hope in time she will learn to realize it was for the best. I felt completely justified in doing what I did, I miss the hell out of her but she made her choice, I made mine, the rest is left up to fate, it is what it is and nothing could have changed the outcome.

Its kinda hard being in a situation where you have to let someone go that you really think the world of but for whatever reason the situation didn't work out in your favor. It is hard to live down, I think about it a lot though.

IMO, she expected you to stick around, be her should to cry on and give her confidence with the new guy. If it didn't work out with him, she'd dangle a little carrott of hope your way getting you to rebuild her lost confidence due to rejection. Then she'd find someone else to chase and repeat the cycle. All the while, you just become increasingly frustrated and feel worse about yourself.

You ruined her fallback plan.

 

[Firecross]

IMO, she expected you to stick around, be her should to cry on and give her confidence with the new guy. If it didn't work out with him, she'd dangle a little carrott of hope your way getting you to rebuild her lost confidence due to rejection. Then she'd find someone else to chase and repeat the cycle. All the while, you just become increasingly frustrated and feel worse about yourself.

You ruined her fallback plan.

Yeah, I figured that, I mean I wondered why I was being kept around. I think it was more of keeping her options open and I was gonna be a last resort. I think it was pretty sinister on her part now that I think about it. At the end of the day I know I am better than she is because I would have never done that to someone, I would have been upfront about it. I really hope it snowballs with the guy she's chasing and kicks herself for screwing up what she had, she doesn't even know how good she had it.

If the unfortunate event ever comes around where she does try to come back around trying to get back into my good graces because it snowballed with the said guy she's going to be in for such a rude awakening. I will demand to know certain things, let her know she has forever lost my trust and will not ever get it back.

 

[Geldo]

This isn't just my girlfriend, this is every girl I've ever dated for any length of time going back to the 8th grade.

Here's the scenario:

I call her up

ME: "Hey, do you want to get together for dinner tonight?"

HER: "Oh, I can't tonight. I have to work late" or "I'm not feeling well" or "I'm going out with some girlfriends tonight" or "I'm really tired, going to bed early" or " I have a big test, need to study" or whatever.

ME: "No problem, we'll do it another time" and it's no problem, I go find something else to do with myself.

The "why women do this" part is when the roles are reversed

HER: "Hey, do you want to get together for dinner tonight?"

ME: "Oh, I can't tonight. I have to work late" or "I'm not feeling well" or "I'm going out with some friends tonight" or "I'm really tired, going to bed early" or " I have a big test, need to study" or whatever.


SHE: (Proceeds to act like her whole world just collapsed, and then gets sad or mad or both)

WHY????

This is absoluteley true. I've seen it with all the girls I've dated, my friends' girlfriends, my female friends and coworkers do it to their boyfriends/husbands.

It confuses me.

You spend Super Bowl week in a jacuzzi with Elvis and three hot women and you complain about how fussy the opposite sex is....man, you just don't know when you got it made do you

 

[Paul]

Yeah, I figured that, I mean I wondered why I was being kept around. I think it was more of keeping her options open and I was gonna be a last resort. I think it was pretty sinister on her part now that I think about it. At the end of the day I know I am better than she is because I would have never done that to someone, I would have been upfront about it. I really hope it snowballs with the guy she's chasing and kicks herself for screwing up what she had, she doesn't even know how good she had it.

Well, you handled your business correctly, IMO, but the reason she did that is women (some, not all), like to have a bird in the hand, if I may. In a woman's mind, once she knows you have feelings for her, you become the "ace" up her sleeve. You're the guy, (not boyfriend or husband) that buys her birthday presents, takes her out from time to time, goes to the spot where she has a flat tire, or picks her up when she needs a ride, etc. etc. etc - the list goes on and on - basically, being used. You're hoping that one day you'll get at least a peck on the lips or a spark or something - and it can drag out forever, or until you decide to cut it off.

Dude, I've seen guys like that my whole teenage-adult life - with my girl cousins, my aunt, hell, even my three sisters. I always felt bad for those dudes.

 

[coldseat]

Well, you handled your business correctly, IMO, but the reason she did that is women (some, not all), like to have a bird in the hand, if I may. In a woman's mind, once she knows you have feelings for her, you become the "ace" up her sleeve. You're the guy, (not boyfriend or husband) that buys her birthday presents, takes her out from time to time, goes to the spot where she has a flat tire, or picks her up when she needs a ride, etc. etc. etc - the list goes on and on - basically, being used. You're hoping that one day you'll get at least a peck on the lips or a spark or something - and it can drag out forever, or until you decide to cut it off.

Dude, I've seen guys like that my whole teenage-adult life - with my girl cousins, my aunt, hell, even my three sisters. I always felt bad for those dudes.

So your basically saying that dude was Forest Gump to her Jenny.

 

[CarMike]

Yep Women are fricken weird, heres my story.

There was this woman I liked for a long time, I told her how I felt and she basically told me she was chasing someone else that she had liked, I said fine, I told her thats cool, I understand, a few days later I told her was going to take my leave of her because I would only hinder the situation because I had strong feelings for her and I decided to let her go because it wouldn't be fair to just BS about it say it didn't bother me. I think it would of just led to an ugly situation had I not done that.

She got so emo and mad, I don't know what was expected of me. I thought I handled the situation with class, I complemented her, told her I hope it works out with the said guy because she deserves the very best, I wished her well and said hopefully we can talk again some day down the line.

She went bat S*** insane about it, I don't know what else I could have done. I felt like I did the right thing which I was always brought up to do.

Sounds to me she wanted to keep you on the sideline in case it didn't work out with the guy she really wanted. I think you handled it well. And you completely cut her off it'll make it even better for you. For some odd reason women LOVE it when guys treat them like s***. You ignore her for a while and she'll come running back to you. At least that has happened to me in the past.

 

[Firecross]

I hope so, I have a lot of unpleasant things to say. I have been using it as motivation to finish my weight loss though, It has me mad enough to walk 10 miles a day.

27 more lbs to go!

 

[Optimus Prime]

1. Women want exactly what they want, exactly when they want it and exactly how they want it.

And yet for some reason they refuse to TELL you exactly what they want, exactly when they want it and exactly how they want it

I'm surprised you even got a woman to pick a place to eat. It's always "I don't care you pick", but they do care. They just want you to name off 100 places until they pick the one they want to go to.

I can't even count how many times I've been through this.

In my head, I was thinking, man why doesn't she just say from jump street that she wants a salad from "___________________"? My guess is, some women don't want to seem controlling or demanding so they make you THINK you have a choice or make it seem like you are the one who actually chose the place, since you suggested this.

Could be.

A friend once told me another theory that a woman thinks that she is telling you what she wants and from her point of view couldn't be more obvious about it by dropping "hints" that any fool, certainly anyone who "really loves" and really knows her, should pick up on. And that's why she gets so upset when you don't "know" what she wants

Problem is the "hints" are subtle to the point of non-existance

 

[Optimus Prime]

I have a conference that I'm going to this weekend out of town for work.

I am going to be giving an hour long speech to about 50-60 people.

I've been working on the speech and powerpoint all week. I finished it yesterday well after midnight.

Girlfriend is all pissy saying that I should have spent that time with her and should have finished the speech at the hotel.

WHAT!!!

I should stop working on this very important thing for work and spend that time with you instead and work on it last minute at the hotel, and miss out on seeing some colleages I haven't seen in months just because I'm going away for a few days!! That made me furious

She is also acting like I'm going to be deployed overseas for a year and that I squandered the last precious few hours we have together.

It's FRIDAY and I'm coming back on TUESDAY!!!!!!

 

[SteelMagnola]

I have a conference that I'm going to this weekend out of town for work.

I am going to be giving an hour long speech to about 50-60 people.

I've been working on the speech and powerpoint all week. I finished it yesterday well after midnight.

Girlfriend is all pissy saying that I should have spent that time with her and should have finished the speech at the hotel.

WHAT!!!

I should stop working on this very important thing for work and spend that time with you instead and work on it last minute at the hotel, and miss out on seeing some colleages I haven't seen in months just because I'm going away for a few days!! That made me furious

She is also acting like I'm going to be deployed overseas for a year and that I squandered the last precious few hours we have together.

It's FRIDAY and I'm coming back on TUESDAY!!!!!!

dump her!

 

[Hercule]

dump her!

No, really. All women aren't like that Optimus. Get yourself a cool chick who understands you, or die of a heart attack in ten years. Life's too short, etc.

 

[Sun Wukong]

Yeah, that really isn't normal behavior at all. Every girl I've ever dated has understood the importance of school/work related stuff.

 

[Sackhappysaint]

This isn't just my girlfriend, this is every girl I've ever dated for any length of time going back to the 8th grade.

Here's the scenario:

I call her up

ME: "Hey, do you want to get together for dinner tonight?"

HER: "Oh, I can't tonight. I have to work late" or "I'm not feeling well" or "I'm going out with some girlfriends tonight" or "I'm really tired, going to bed early" or " I have a big test, need to study" or whatever.

ME: "No problem, we'll do it another time" and it's no problem, I go find something else to do with myself.

The "why women do this" part is when the roles are reversed

HER: "Hey, do you want to get together for dinner tonight?"

ME: "Oh, I can't tonight. I have to work late" or "I'm not feeling well" or "I'm going out with some friends tonight" or "I'm really tired, going to bed early" or " I have a big test, need to study" or whatever.


SHE: (Proceeds to act like her whole world just collapsed, and then gets sad or mad or both)

WHY????

This is absolutely true. I've seen it with all the girls I've dated, my friends' girlfriends, my female friends and coworkers do it to their boyfriends/husbands.

It confuses me.

Selfishness and insecurity. Wonderful combo. Luckily I never went after girls like this during my dating year. Well, not for more than one night.

 

[krushing]

Why is the sky blue? Why is the sun hot? Why do the falcons suck? Some questions will never be answered. It is the way it is! Get used to it.