Dating (59 Viewers)

[Madmarsha]

 

[saintmdterps]

This is a good approach. I need a guy that is attractive & hygienic enough that I would want to fork them. But I have found the really attractive guys effin suck because they have never had to work very hard to get attention and tend to be very arrogant and entitled & also lack personality.

Hygenic enough? Is it that they don't bathe, or don't shave? I am puzzle. I always shower, shave, put on deodorant, etc before a date.

Maybe I'm missing something in your comment, but I'd think hygiene would be common sense.

 

[St. Greatness]

Oh I love the shirt out of her - always have. We're both here, both willing to work on it. Not being alone is not the main reason why I'm here, willing to put in the work needed.

I'm no psychologist, but it seems to me that you're more motivated by the fear of being alone (which is understandable) than by love. You say you love her, but the main reason you're willing to put in the work is to keep from being alone. I think that if you were truly operating out of love, the "not being alone" part would've been left out altogether.


Anyway, I haven't posted in a while (to put it lightly), but this thread has been really interesting to read. So, I feel inclined to contribute. I wish I could add something spicy but I can't lol! I just turned 36 last month and the last date I went on was last year with a chick I met on Instagram . It's my fault though, because outside of a few trips I went on, I didn't really go out a ton. I'm looking to change that this year.

I used to be on several dating apps, but I'm only on one now (Hinge). I'm at that place where all of the women who like me, I don't like, and the ones I do like, don't like me. So, that's been mostly miss instead of hit. In the real world, all of my closest friends are either married, or are in serious relationships, so they don't really know any single women who may be interested. I work remotely, so no chance of meeting women there. While a couple of hobbies put me in situations where I'm around women, it's not long enough to make any kind of connections. It's been a struggle for those reasons, but I'm at a place in my life where I'm not pressed about it. If something happens, cool, if not, I'm perfectly content with being in my own company.

 

[0rion]

I'm no psychologist, but it seems to me that you're more motivated by the fear of being alone (which is understandable) than by love. You say you love her, but the main reason you're willing to put in the work is to keep from being alone. I think that if you were truly operating out of love, the "not being alone" part would've been left out altogether.


Anyway, I haven't posted in a while (to put it lightly), but this thread has been really interesting to read. So, I feel inclined to contribute. I wish I could add something spicy but I can't lol! I just turned 36 last month and the last date I went on was last year with a chick I met on Instagram . It's my fault though, because outside of a few trips I went on, I didn't really go out a ton. I'm looking to change that this year.

I used to be on several dating apps, but I'm only on one now (Hinge). I'm at that place where all of the women who like me, I don't like, and the ones I do like, don't like me. So, that's been mostly miss instead of hit. In the real world, all of my closest friends are either married, or are in serious relationships, so they don't really know any single women who may be interested. I work remotely, so no chance of meeting women there. While a couple of hobbies put me in situations where I'm around women, it's not long enough to make any kind of connections. It's been a struggle for those reasons, but I'm at a place in my life where I'm not pressed about it. If something happens, cool, if not, I'm perfectly content with being in my own company.

Where were all these apps when I was young and single? I had to do it the old fashioned way at bars. My son orders arse the way I used to order pizza. Doesn't seem fair.

 

[St. Greatness]

Where were all these apps when I was young and single? I had to do it the old fashioned way at bars. My son orders arse the way I used to order pizza. Doesn't seem fair.

I wish I could say my experience has been the same, but I can't .

 

[saintmdterps]

I'm no psychologist, but it seems to me that you're more motivated by the fear of being alone (which is understandable) than by love. You say you love her, but the main reason you're willing to put in the work is to keep from being alone. I think that if you were truly operating out of love, the "not being alone" part would've been left out altogether.


Anyway, I haven't posted in a while (to put it lightly), but this thread has been really interesting to read. So, I feel inclined to contribute. I wish I could add something spicy but I can't lol! I just turned 36 last month and the last date I went on was last year with a chick I met on Instagram . It's my fault though, because outside of a few trips I went on, I didn't really go out a ton. I'm looking to change that this year.

I used to be on several dating apps, but I'm only on one now (Hinge). I'm at that place where all of the women who like me, I don't like, and the ones I do like, don't like me. So, that's been mostly miss instead of hit. In the real world, all of my closest friends are either married, or are in serious relationships, so they don't really know any single women who may be interested. I work remotely, so no chance of meeting women there. While a couple of hobbies put me in situations where I'm around women, it's not long enough to make any kind of connections. It's been a struggle for those reasons, but I'm at a place in my life where I'm not pressed about it. If something happens, cool, if not, I'm perfectly content with being in my own company.

Fear of being alone is indeed what keeps many couples together. Discomfort with being alone is what drives many back together, or to settle for otherwise unacceptable mates.

However, being lonely within a marriage is a special kind of desolation, and I'll take just being lonely and alone any day.

FWIW, it was just after I truly made my peace with the notion that I may be alone that I met my most recent ex.

edit: and it's good to see you posting again sir!

 

[Madmarsha]

I'm no psychologist, but it seems to me that you're more motivated by the fear of being alone (which is understandable) than by love. You say you love her, but the main reason you're willing to put in the work is to keep from being alone. I think that if you were truly operating out of love, the "not being alone" part would've been left out altogether.


Anyway, I haven't posted in a while (to put it lightly), but this thread has been really interesting to read. So, I feel inclined to contribute. I wish I could add something spicy but I can't lol! I just turned 36 last month and the last date I went on was last year with a chick I met on Instagram . It's my fault though, because outside of a few trips I went on, I didn't really go out a ton. I'm looking to change that this year.

I used to be on several dating apps, but I'm only on one now (Hinge). I'm at that place where all of the women who like me, I don't like, and the ones I do like, don't like me. So, that's been mostly miss instead of hit. In the real world, all of my closest friends are either married, or are in serious relationships, so they don't really know any single women who may be interested. I work remotely, so no chance of meeting women there. While a couple of hobbies put me in situations where I'm around women, it's not long enough to make any kind of connections. It's been a struggle for those reasons, but I'm at a place in my life where I'm not pressed about it. If something happens, cool, if not, I'm perfectly content with being in my own company.

I wish I could introduce you to my niece. She lives in Frederick, is about 37, just bought a house (blonde hair, blue eyes, former Marine).

 

[kcirdor]

 

[saintmdterps]

I wish I could introduce you to my niece. She lives in Frederick, is about 37, just bought a house (blonde hair, blue eyes, former Marine).

Before you set up the late-to-the-game poster, you must first set up the OP

 

[SaintRob]

Before you set up the late-to-the-game poster, you must first set up the OP

 

[CapitalCitySaint]

Hygenic enough? Is it that they don't bathe, or don't shave? I am puzzle. I always shower, shave, put on deodorant, etc before a date.

Maybe I'm missing something in your comment, but I'd think hygiene would be common sense.

A lot of men may appear clean at first glance but they aren’t. They wash clothes, leave them in the washer too long then dry them anyway and they stink, they don’t kept their nails trimmed & clean. They don’t floss their teeth, brush once per day if that & never go to their 2x annual FREE dental cleanings that dental insurance provides. A lot of men need to be using antibacterial soap bc they reek of BO. They wear nasty old man cologne or just way too much cologne in general. They don’t keep their hair cut or at least clean and neat. Their house/apartments and cars (if they have them) are dirty.

Don’t get it twisted, I will not come near a man with bad hygiene but I have guy friends some of these things apply to, friends with husbands/bf who are gross, see these nasty mfa’s at the gym and other places.

Don’t get me wrong, I know there are plenty of filthy women, too. I just don’t date women so I am talking about hygiene for men

 

[bclemms]

I’ve been avoiding this thread since I already have a public life and can keep little private but fork it.

I was in a long relationship, 23 years and have two kids. My significant other lost her mother to suicide 8 years ago snd she spiraled into deep depression and refused to get help. The last 4 years have been brutal and I hung around in basically a roommate situation out of convenience since I’m rarely home and we have kids. I moved out to a sheetty apartment a few months ago and had pretty much decided to be single forever and however I liked.

Fast forward to the beginning of November I flew to Asia for a typhoon and while there decided to hop to a few countries while the weather was slow. In Thailand I met a woman on the second day. Completely organic, chance meeting, she speaks decent English and we start chatting.

The conversation was intense despite the subject being random chit chat. I asked her to dinner, was clear I was just going to be there a few days and outside of having some fun had no intention.

This woman shows up at my hotel that night dressed out, smoking hot while just being so relaxed and funny it was hard not to really enjoy. We had a great night. The next day I had to work and we texted a few times. I showed interest and wanted to see her again but that day was terrible. She kind of got generic at that point and it carried into the next day. Then she sends sends me a text “if you want to see me, just text me and I’ll come to you”. I replied I want to see you, come to me. Two hours later she showed up and took me to some temples, hit some street food, had a couple beers and just everything was lined up. We spent the next 48 hours together. I’ve never experienced anything like this girl. She is checking every box and then some. Our conversations had gotten deep and we really got to know each other fast.

At this point I had to see if something was there. Asked her to go to Bangkok with me for 2 days before I flew out. We drove the 4 hours and changed the scene completely and the energy was the same no matter the situation. Malls, rooftop bars, restaurants, walking the streets, movie theater, hotel room, did not matter. I told her if she wanted to hop a flight to Chiang Mai with me I would push my trip home a week. She did. Once again changed the scene completely. Hit festivals, a candlelight dinner, jumped into the mountains, etc. Drunk, sober and she even wanted to try weed so we got high. Nothing changed.

When it was time to fly home, she told me that she didnt think I would come back to see her. She said she would wait 90 days for me to come back but wasnt going to waste her time in a relationship of maybe. At this point I could bail and forever remember the two weeks or commit. I felt if I did not at least try that I would wake up with what if questions every day forever.

13 days later I met her in Japan, we jumped off to Vietnam and everything was like we had never left. Since then I’ve gone back one more time and even met her family. I’ve never had a woman treat me like this. Never an argument, always sweet and thoughtful. Constantly makes me laugh and supports me when I was up all night working. Of course I treat her like a queen.

Background on her.
35, never married. Has a 10 year old son with a father that bailed before birth.
She has worked quite a few jobs in hospitality (airport, hotels, etc). No debt, some savings, owns some land. No desire to live in US permanently. Wants to build a house near her parents farm and store then makes sure her son gets the best opportunity possible. She hasnt been in a relationship for 10 years. Doesn’t drink, smoke, gamble, etc.

I’m flying her to Panama and will basically go live there for a month or two so time zone and proximity to US makes it easier for me to work.

She quit her job and starts nursing school in March on my suggestion. Plan is to get work visa and spend 6 months in US to make sure she likes it. Then we would spit time.

It feels crazy. I know Thailand is known for women that game western men. It is also known for western men and Thai women having amazing relationships.

I’ve put her in every situation possible to see if I was missing something. I wasnt looking for this. It happened and happened fast. Now we have to pump the brakes some while she gets nursing certificate and starts visa process. If I’m crazy, feel free to tell me.

 

[saintmdterps]

I’ve been avoiding this thread since I already have a public life and can keep little private but fork it.

I was in a long relationship, 23 years and have two kids. My significant other lost her mother to suicide 8 years ago snd she spiraled into deep depression and refused to get help. The last 4 years have been brutal and I hung around in basically a roommate situation out of convenience since I’m rarely home and we have kids. I moved out to a sheetty apartment a few months ago and had pretty much decided to be single forever and however I liked.

Fast forward to the beginning of November I flew to Asia for a typhoon and while there decided to hop to a few countries while the weather was slow. In Thailand I met a woman on the second day. Completely organic, chance meeting, she speaks decent English and we start chatting.

The conversation was intense despite the subject being random chit chat. I asked her to dinner, was clear I was just going to be there a few days and outside of having some fun had no intention.

This woman shows up at my hotel that night dressed out, smoking hot while just being so relaxed and funny it was hard not to really enjoy. We had a great night. The next day I had to work and we texted a few times. I showed interest and wanted to see her again but that day was terrible. She kind of got generic at that point and it carried into the next day. Then she sends sends me a text “if you want to see me, just text me and I’ll come to you”. I replied I want to see you, come to me. Two hours later she showed up and took me to some temples, hit some street food, had a couple beers and just everything was lined up. We spent the next 48 hours together. I’ve never experienced anything like this girl. She is checking every box and then some. Our conversations had gotten deep and we really got to know each other fast.

At this point I had to see if something was there. Asked her to go to Bangkok with me for 2 days before I flew out. We drove the 4 hours and changed the scene completely and the energy was the same no matter the situation. Malls, rooftop bars, restaurants, walking the streets, movie theater, hotel room, did not matter. I told her if she wanted to hop a flight to Chiang Mai with me I would push my trip home a week. She did. Once again changed the scene completely. Hit festivals, a candlelight dinner, jumped into the mountains, etc. Drunk, sober and she even wanted to try weed so we got high. Nothing changed.

When it was time to fly home, she told me that she didnt think I would come back to see her. She said she would wait 90 days for me to come back but wasnt going to waste her time in a relationship of maybe. At this point I could bail and forever remember the two weeks or commit. I felt if I did not at least try that I would wake up with what if questions every day forever.

13 days later I met her in Japan, we jumped off to Vietnam and everything was like we had never left. Since then I’ve gone back one more time and even met her family. I’ve never had a woman treat me like this. Never an argument, always sweet and thoughtful. Constantly makes me laugh and supports me when I was up all night working. Of course I treat her like a queen.

Background on her.
35, never married. Has a 10 year old son with a father that bailed before birth.
She has worked quite a few jobs in hospitality (airport, hotels, etc). No debt, some savings, owns some land. No desire to live in US permanently. Wants to build a house near her parents farm and store then makes sure her son gets the best opportunity possible. She hasnt been in a relationship for 10 years. Doesn’t drink, smoke, gamble, etc.

I’m flying her to Panama and will basically go live there for a month or two so time zone and proximity to US makes it easier for me to work.

She quit her job and starts nursing school in March on my suggestion. Plan is to get work visa and spend 6 months in US to make sure she likes it. Then we would spit time.

It feels crazy. I know Thailand is known for women that game western men. It is also known for western men and Thai women having amazing relationships.

I’ve put her in every situation possible to see if I was missing something. I wasnt looking for this. It happened and happened fast. Now we have to pump the brakes some while she gets nursing certificate and starts visa process. If I’m crazy, feel free to tell me.

Go for it! Don't show restraint like I did

Seriously, that's a great story and I hope it works out for you. Waiting for her to get her nursing certification will give you a chance to catch your breath. There is a fine line between impulsiveness and recklessness. Life is too damn short. I'll err on the side of YOLO, but I'm 63

Does she have a sister?

 

[0rion]

A lot of men may appear clean at first glance but they aren’t. They wash clothes, leave them in the washer too long then dry them anyway and they stink, they don’t kept their nails trimmed & clean. They don’t floss their teeth, brush once per day if that & never go to their 2x annual FREE dental cleanings that dental insurance provides. A lot of men need to be using antibacterial soap bc they reek of BO. They wear nasty old man cologne or just way too much cologne in general. They don’t keep their hair cut or at least clean and neat. Their house/apartments and cars (if they have them) are dirty.

Don’t get it twisted, I will not come near a man with bad hygiene but I have guy friends some of these things apply to, friends with husbands/bf who are gross, see these nasty mfa’s at the gym and other places.

Don’t get me wrong, I know there are plenty of filthy women, too. I just don’t date women so I am talking about hygiene for men

Wait....is drakkar nasty old man cologne because I was thinking of going and buying some for nostalgia purposes.

 

[SaintRob]

I’ve been avoiding this thread since I already have a public life and can keep little private but fork it.

I was in a long relationship, 23 years and have two kids. My significant other lost her mother to suicide 8 years ago snd she spiraled into deep depression and refused to get help. The last 4 years have been brutal and I hung around in basically a roommate situation out of convenience since I’m rarely home and we have kids. I moved out to a sheetty apartment a few months ago and had pretty much decided to be single forever and however I liked.

Fast forward to the beginning of November I flew to Asia for a typhoon and while there decided to hop to a few countries while the weather was slow. In Thailand I met a woman on the second day. Completely organic, chance meeting, she speaks decent English and we start chatting.

The conversation was intense despite the subject being random chit chat. I asked her to dinner, was clear I was just going to be there a few days and outside of having some fun had no intention.

This woman shows up at my hotel that night dressed out, smoking hot while just being so relaxed and funny it was hard not to really enjoy. We had a great night. The next day I had to work and we texted a few times. I showed interest and wanted to see her again but that day was terrible. She kind of got generic at that point and it carried into the next day. Then she sends sends me a text “if you want to see me, just text me and I’ll come to you”. I replied I want to see you, come to me. Two hours later she showed up and took me to some temples, hit some street food, had a couple beers and just everything was lined up. We spent the next 48 hours together. I’ve never experienced anything like this girl. She is checking every box and then some. Our conversations had gotten deep and we really got to know each other fast.

At this point I had to see if something was there. Asked her to go to Bangkok with me for 2 days before I flew out. We drove the 4 hours and changed the scene completely and the energy was the same no matter the situation. Malls, rooftop bars, restaurants, walking the streets, movie theater, hotel room, did not matter. I told her if she wanted to hop a flight to Chiang Mai with me I would push my trip home a week. She did. Once again changed the scene completely. Hit festivals, a candlelight dinner, jumped into the mountains, etc. Drunk, sober and she even wanted to try weed so we got high. Nothing changed.

When it was time to fly home, she told me that she didnt think I would come back to see her. She said she would wait 90 days for me to come back but wasnt going to waste her time in a relationship of maybe. At this point I could bail and forever remember the two weeks or commit. I felt if I did not at least try that I would wake up with what if questions every day forever.

13 days later I met her in Japan, we jumped off to Vietnam and everything was like we had never left. Since then I’ve gone back one more time and even met her family. I’ve never had a woman treat me like this. Never an argument, always sweet and thoughtful. Constantly makes me laugh and supports me when I was up all night working. Of course I treat her like a queen.

Background on her.
35, never married. Has a 10 year old son with a father that bailed before birth.
She has worked quite a few jobs in hospitality (airport, hotels, etc). No debt, some savings, owns some land. No desire to live in US permanently. Wants to build a house near her parents farm and store then makes sure her son gets the best opportunity possible. She hasnt been in a relationship for 10 years. Doesn’t drink, smoke, gamble, etc.

I’m flying her to Panama and will basically go live there for a month or two so time zone and proximity to US makes it easier for me to work.

She quit her job and starts nursing school in March on my suggestion. Plan is to get work visa and spend 6 months in US to make sure she likes it. Then we would spit time.

It feels crazy. I know Thailand is known for women that game western men. It is also known for western men and Thai women having amazing relationships.

I’ve put her in every situation possible to see if I was missing something. I wasnt looking for this. It happened and happened fast. Now we have to pump the brakes some while she gets nursing certificate and starts visa process. If I’m crazy, feel free to tell me.

Life is too short for bad long term relationships. Awesome to find new love! My only advise is to make the kids a priority. A HUGE PRIORITY. Like, THE PRIORITY over everything else. Going to try not preach about it, but being a dad with a presence is just about the most important role a man has. It's doubly important if mom is absent.