Dating (9 Viewers)

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Dago said:
Because nothing makes a better first impression on a woman that being 25 pounds heavier than she expected and instead of a full head of hair, a hairline retreating down his back
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I bet they’re not doing it (‘false’ advertising) for the others, they’re doing it for themselves
I look in the mirror and don’t recognize myself
The last picture I took that looked like me I was late 30s/early 40s, but I’m really the person in the dance photos from my mid 20s
I know it’s ridiculous, and I ‘know’ I look like the overweight, bald lump I present as, but my lizard brain does not acknowledge that
 
guidomerkinsrules said:
I bet they’re not doing it (‘false’ advertising) for the others, they’re doing it for themselves
I look in the mirror and don’t recognize myself
The last picture I took that looked like me I was late 30s/early 40s, but I’m really the person in the dance photos from my mid 20s
I know it’s ridiculous, and I ‘know’ I look like the overweight, bald lump I present as, but my lizard brain does not acknowledge that
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The difference is that you aren't lying to others with the intention to trick them into an in person meeting.
Its a complete lack of consideration and respect for others. Would be no different than if I claimed in my profile that i was 6ft tall in an effort to trick a woman who otherwise would have nothing to do with me into going on a date.
 
Dago said:
The difference is that you aren't lying to others with the intention to trick them into an in person meeting.
Its a complete lack of consideration and respect for others. Would be no different than if I claimed in my profile that i was 6ft tall in an effort to trick a woman who otherwise would have nothing to do with me into going on a date.
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It’s a question I’ve had to wrestle with as my own marriage unraveled - it’s a question i still don’t know the answer to — and I also question is the answer is important
Because of trauma mostly from her teen years, my wife has found it difficult to trust and to be vulnerable
The fallout of that means she has difficulty being honest
The question I’ve wrestled with the last few years is whether my wife is lying to herself or to me
And then I have to ask, since the result of that lying lands on me about the same regardless of intent, does it matter who she’s lying to?

In your example it doesn’t matter - the person receiving the bogus information was lied to - period
I wonder if there’s the possibility of progress if the lie was self-deception
 
Okay, story time...I'll Cliff's Notes it as much as possible. Sorry for the delay, work got stupid then I bailed to go to the gym before rush hour.

About 2 years ago (keep in mind we keep windows open almost year-round here) I heard someone yelling for help in my alley. I went to the back patio and saw an octogenarian walking by herself shouting for help and nobody around. There was a young guy about 20 something down in the alley talking on the phone. I asked him if he was otp with the police. He's all "no". So I'm like k, eff...I'll go down and make sure this lady is okay.

I go to the alley, ask her if she's okay, she says she's abused & doesn't know where her home is, etc. I call police, just before they arrive, here comes her fat azzzz daughter walking down the alley with a fluffy dog saying "ignore her. that's my mom and she's confused and always doing this. Police arrive, I give background and start to head back home when the neighbors who live right around the corner from me (literally if I step on my front patio, I can see their house). They are a really attractive couple. The guy looks mixed with something I can't tell, she looks to be hispanic or pac islander or something. They introduce themselves, ask what's happening then we all start chatting about other stuff. The girl is like "feel free to stop by any time".

Months go by and I had not seen them since that incident & I'm coming back from a walk and I see only the dude. He's parked on the street unloading groceries. He says hi, we chat for a few minutes and through conversation, discover he's a genomics professor at a notable university here & how he's trying to get this gene therapy funded, etc. I was like well I work in cell & gene & happen to know exactly where you can apply for funding for this bc my team has an alliance with them. So he gets my number since I told him to hit me up & I'd connect him with the right people.

Months pass again and I randomly got a text from him asking if I'm going to be home that day (it's a Saturday) & if it was cool to stop by to discuss funding. I reply "I'll be home after 5, y'all are welcome to stop by & chat."

He shows up after 5, by himself with a bottle of wine. I was like wtf is this. Maybe he's just trying to be polite bc I am doing him a favor or something. I ask him "where's Riley?" He's all "we are working through some things right now". (insert major eye roll). He is at my house for about 45 minutes (I did not open the wine) then says "I need to go and give someone a key." I said okay well I'll follow you out bc I need to take the dog out.

Once we get to the street, he asks if I'm going to be up later because he 'wants to come back'. At this point I'm very aggravated with this whole bait & switch thing. I'm like I don't know just text me. He did text at like 10:30 and I ignored it. Never spoke to him again.

A few months later, my mom was visiting. I had told her about the p-o-s neighbor and when I was pulling out of the alley, I saw Riley (the gf) standing in their doorway. I was like see mom! I didn't think for one second that Riley was no longer in the picture and I thought it was really bold of him to try to fork the neighbor. Like we literally live 200 feet from each other. Additionally, I met them both together and I really liked her when we were all chatting that day of the old lady incident.

Fast forward to about a month ago I was pulling out of my alley to the main street right where their house is, I see him helping her carrying a baby stroller up the like 4 steps that lead into their front door & the baby was screaming. LOL.

Fast forward to this morning and I had ran out of coffee & was like k, I have a small window between calls from 7a-7:30 to run to the coffee shop down the street and grab some coffee. I walk in & he's there. He looks up and sees me & ignores me. As soon as his order was ready, he grabbed that ish so fast and bailed out of there.

So this thread popping up and running into him today prompted me to tell y'all that story. Also, remember when I said "the most single men I know are married". I assume they got married since that incident a few years ago. At the very least, they now share a child. This is why I just stay single.
 
guidomerkinsrules said:
It’s a question I’ve had to wrestle with as my own marriage unraveled - it’s a question i still don’t know the answer to — and I also question is the answer is important
Because of trauma mostly from her teen years, my wife has found it difficult to trust and to be vulnerable
The fallout of that means she has difficulty being honest
The question I’ve wrestled with the last few years is whether my wife is lying to herself or to me
And then I have to ask, since the result of that lying lands on me about the same regardless of intent, does it matter who she’s lying to?

In your example it doesn’t matter - the person receiving the bogus information was lied to - period
I wonder if there’s the possibility of progress if the lie was self-deception
Click to expand...
Actually I understand that. In 2021 I wasn't able to walk without help, I weighed 300+ pounds (most but not all due to my injuries and depression), had lost my business of 20 years and the 16,000 sf building it was in, and my ex was cheating on me. I felt similar....was the fact that I was a mess physically (and mentally) driving her away?
I had to realize I was too damned focused on things in my life I had no control over. The only thing we can control is how we respond to what life deals us. So I decided I could control what I put in my mouth and lost 120 pounds (which also gave me a personal goal, a sense of accomplishment, and some pride back)
Additionally it wasn't my fault my ex did that. She wasn't willing to do counseling and if she didn't want to be married to me anymore, she owed it to me to talk to me and let me know instead of what she did. She took the easy way out for her
 
CapitalCitySaint said:
Okay, story time...I'll Cliff's Notes it as much as possible. Sorry for the delay, work got stupid then I bailed to go to the gym before rush hour.

About 2 years ago (keep in mind we keep windows open almost year-round here) I heard someone yelling for help in my alley. I went to the back patio and saw an octogenarian walking by herself shouting for help and nobody around. There was a young guy about 20 something down in the alley talking on the phone. I asked him if he was otp with the police. He's all "no". So I'm like k, eff...I'll go down and make sure this lady is okay.

I go to the alley, ask her if she's okay, she says she's abused & doesn't know where her home is, etc. I call police, just before they arrive, here comes her fat azzzz daughter walking down the alley with a fluffy dog saying "ignore her. that's my mom and she's confused and always doing this. Police arrive, I give background and start to head back home when the neighbors who live right around the corner from me (literally if I step on my front patio, I can see their house). They are a really attractive couple. The guy looks mixed with something I can't tell, she looks to be hispanic or pac islander or something. They introduce themselves, ask what's happening then we all start chatting about other stuff. The girl is like "feel free to stop by any time".

Months go by and I had not seen them since that incident & I'm coming back from a walk and I see only the dude. He's parked on the street unloading groceries. He says hi, we chat for a few minutes and through conversation, discover he's a genomics professor at a notable university here & how he's trying to get this gene therapy funded, etc. I was like well I work in cell & gene & happen to know exactly where you can apply for funding for this bc my team has an alliance with them. So he gets my number since I told him to hit me up & I'd connect him with the right people.

Months pass again and I randomly got a text from him asking if I'm going to be home that day (it's a Saturday) & if it was cool to stop by to discuss funding. I reply "I'll be home after 5, y'all are welcome to stop by & chat."

He shows up after 5, by himself with a bottle of wine. I was like wtf is this. Maybe he's just trying to be polite bc I am doing him a favor or something. I ask him "where's Riley?" He's all "we are working through some things right now". (insert major eye roll). He is at my house for about 45 minutes (I did not open the wine) then says "I need to go and give someone a key." I said okay well I'll follow you out bc I need to take the dog out.

Once we get to the street, he asks if I'm going to be up later because he 'wants to come back'. At this point I'm very aggravated with this whole bait & switch thing. I'm like I don't know just text me. He did text at like 10:30 and I ignored it. Never spoke to him again.

A few months later, my mom was visiting. I had told her about the p-o-s neighbor and when I was pulling out of the alley, I saw Riley (the gf) standing in their doorway. I was like see mom! I didn't think for one second that Riley was no longer in the picture and I thought it was really bold of him to try to fork the neighbor. Like we literally live 200 feet from each other. Additionally, I met them both together and I really liked her when we were all chatting that day of the old lady incident.

Fast forward to about a month ago I was pulling out of my alley to the main street right where their house is, I see him helping her carrying a baby stroller up the like 4 steps that lead into their front door & the baby was screaming. LOL.

Fast forward to this morning and I had ran out of coffee & was like k, I have a small window between calls from 7a-7:30 to run to the coffee shop down the street and grab some coffee. I walk in & he's there. He looks up and sees me & ignores me. As soon as his order was ready, he grabbed that ish so fast and bailed out of there.

So this thread popping up and running into him today prompted me to tell y'all that story. Also, remember when I said "the most single men I know are married". I assume they got married since that incident a few years ago. At the very least, they now share a child. This is why I just stay single.
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I had something similar once. Neighbor man (over the fence backyard neighbor) knocked on my door late one evening with a small gift in hand, Oh, did you know my wife and I are broken up? Nope but thanks for the candy. Goodnight.


I guess guys think we should find this flattering but we don't regard it as flattering that because you and your old lady are having issues that you think of a woman that lives alone as your next-door dating buffet. You are now the creepy neighbor. Congrats.
 
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CapitalCitySaint said:
Okay, story time...I'll Cliff's Notes it as much as possible. Sorry for the delay, work got stupid then I bailed to go to the gym before rush hour.

About 2 years ago (keep in mind we keep windows open almost year-round here) I heard someone yelling for help in my alley. I went to the back patio and saw an octogenarian walking by herself shouting for help and nobody around. There was a young guy about 20 something down in the alley talking on the phone. I asked him if he was otp with the police. He's all "no". So I'm like k, eff...I'll go down and make sure this lady is okay.

I go to the alley, ask her if she's okay, she says she's abused & doesn't know where her home is, etc. I call police, just before they arrive, here comes her fat azzzz daughter walking down the alley with a fluffy dog saying "ignore her. that's my mom and she's confused and always doing this. Police arrive, I give background and start to head back home when the neighbors who live right around the corner from me (literally if I step on my front patio, I can see their house). They are a really attractive couple. The guy looks mixed with something I can't tell, she looks to be hispanic or pac islander or something. They introduce themselves, ask what's happening then we all start chatting about other stuff. The girl is like "feel free to stop by any time".

Months go by and I had not seen them since that incident & I'm coming back from a walk and I see only the dude. He's parked on the street unloading groceries. He says hi, we chat for a few minutes and through conversation, discover he's a genomics professor at a notable university here & how he's trying to get this gene therapy funded, etc. I was like well I work in cell & gene & happen to know exactly where you can apply for funding for this bc my team has an alliance with them. So he gets my number since I told him to hit me up & I'd connect him with the right people.

Months pass again and I randomly got a text from him asking if I'm going to be home that day (it's a Saturday) & if it was cool to stop by to discuss funding. I reply "I'll be home after 5, y'all are welcome to stop by & chat."

He shows up after 5, by himself with a bottle of wine. I was like wtf is this. Maybe he's just trying to be polite bc I am doing him a favor or something. I ask him "where's Riley?" He's all "we are working through some things right now". (insert major eye roll). He is at my house for about 45 minutes (I did not open the wine) then says "I need to go and give someone a key." I said okay well I'll follow you out bc I need to take the dog out.

Once we get to the street, he asks if I'm going to be up later because he 'wants to come back'. At this point I'm very aggravated with this whole bait & switch thing. I'm like I don't know just text me. He did text at like 10:30 and I ignored it. Never spoke to him again.

A few months later, my mom was visiting. I had told her about the p-o-s neighbor and when I was pulling out of the alley, I saw Riley (the gf) standing in their doorway. I was like see mom! I didn't think for one second that Riley was no longer in the picture and I thought it was really bold of him to try to fork the neighbor. Like we literally live 200 feet from each other. Additionally, I met them both together and I really liked her when we were all chatting that day of the old lady incident.

Fast forward to about a month ago I was pulling out of my alley to the main street right where their house is, I see him helping her carrying a baby stroller up the like 4 steps that lead into their front door & the baby was screaming. LOL.

Fast forward to this morning and I had ran out of coffee & was like k, I have a small window between calls from 7a-7:30 to run to the coffee shop down the street and grab some coffee. I walk in & he's there. He looks up and sees me & ignores me. As soon as his order was ready, he grabbed that ish so fast and bailed out of there.

So this thread popping up and running into him today prompted me to tell y'all that story. Also, remember when I said "the most single men I know are married". I assume they got married since that incident a few years ago. At the very least, they now share a child. This is why I just stay single.
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What were his teeth like?
 
CapitalCitySaint said:
I go to the alley, ask her if she's okay, she says she's abused & doesn't know where her home is, etc. I call police, just before they arrive, here comes her fat azzzz daughter walking down the alley with a fluffy dog saying "ignore her. that's my mom and she's confused and always doing this. Police arrive, I give background and start to head back home when the neighbors who live right around the corner from me (literally if I step on my front patio, I can see their house). They are a really attractive couple. The guy looks mixed with something I can't tell, she looks to be hispanic or pac islander or something. They introduce themselves, ask what's happening then we all start chatting about other stuff. The girl is like "feel free to stop by any time".
Click to expand...




This is the part where i was sure you were gonna tell us that they had some sort of open marriage, swinger type thing going on… Once again, just like when I thought u were having hot monkey sex - i was wrong…….
 
This stuff happens to men too. It happened to me even so if it happened to me it could happen to anyone.
After my first marriage ended I worked with a girl. She was hot but also married. After work I would stop by a bar and shoot pool and have a few beers. She started going there with me and flirted with me quite a bit. She started buying me stuff like cologne and shirts and what not. I was very tempted ...she was really good looking and nice. I just couldn't with a married woman. My first wife cheated and I just kept thinking about her husband. I finally told her I wasn't interested and told her why. She ended up sleeping with some other guy at work and I moved on from that place at some point. She wasn't interested in me ...she was interested in anyone that wasn't her husband.
 

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