Darwin Award Winners (1 Viewer)

[bigdaddysaints]

I saw there were some old single Darwin Award threads, but I figured why not have an ongoing thread for people who deserve Darwin Awards.
If there is already one like it, I apologize. Not to be confused with the Florida Man Thread...

I'll start with a couple

If you are dumb enough to leave a gun out where a 2 years can get it and kill you, you no longer need to reproduce..

2-year-old shoots dad dead while playing with handgun, grandma says​

A dad was shot to death by the 2-year-old son he was feeding when the toddler got his tiny hands on a 40-caliber Glock pistol and fired a fatal shot, according to published reports.

2-year-old shoots dad dead while playing with handgun, grandma says

Indian man stabbed to death by rooster after attaching knife for illegal cockfight​

An Indian man was stabbed to death by his own rooster after he attached a 3-inch knife to its leg for an illegal cockfight, police said Sunday.
atish was hit by the rooster’s knife in his groin and started bleeding heavily,” police inspector B. Jeevan said Sunday, revealing that the victim died on his way to a local hospital.

Indian man stabbed to death by rooster after attaching knife for illegal cockfight

An Indian man was stabbed to death by his own rooster after he attached a 3-inch knife to its leg for an illegal cockfight, police said Sunday. Thangulla Satish, 45, was stabbed in the groin last w…

nypost.com

 

[Dago]

 

[Yatman]

derpa derpa

 

[kizzy821]

I belly-laughed at that rooster headline.

My vote goes to people who deliberately ask for vanilla ice cream.

People who aggressively turn their cigarette box upside down and tap it before opening. I promise you those cigarettes didn't move.

People who enable video on Teams meetings. Because how could we possibly conduct a phone call if I can't see you.

People who open 10 ketchup packets in a row to make a decent-sized ketchup pool. Drizzle that sheet across them fries and be done.

ESL citizens questioning my grammar. How. Dare. You.

The people who wrote, produced and recorded the Macarena.

People who put weenies in their gumbo.

Facilitators who start off training classes with stretching exercises and ice-breakers. It's in those moments, I want nothing more than to possess telekinesis. Arses would hit the floor.

People who try to back into a parking spot when they don't know how. It's very sad to witness their struggle.

Anyone who has ever offered me trail mix.

 

[gboudx]

>>People who aggressively turn their cigarette box upside down and tap it before opening. I promise you those cigarettes didn't move.

The tobacco inside the cigarette moves, ”packing” down and becoming more dense.

 

[Dago]

I belly-laughed at that rooster headline.

My vote goes to people who deliberately ask for vanilla ice cream.

People who aggressively turn their cigarette box upside down and tap it before opening. I promise you those cigarettes didn't move.

People who enable video on Teams meetings. Because how could we possibly conduct a phone call if I can't see you.

People who open 10 ketchup packets in a row to make a decent-sized ketchup pool. Drizzle that sheet across them fries and be done.

ESL citizens questioning my grammar. How. Dare. You.

The people who wrote, produced and recorded the Macarena.

People who put weenies in their gumbo.

Facilitators who start off training classes with stretching exercises and ice-breakers. It's in those moments, I want nothing more than to possess telekinesis. Arses would hit the floor.

People who try to back into a parking spot when they don't know how. It's very sad to witness their struggle.

Anyone who has ever offered me trail mix.

Who in the fork puts weenies in their gumbo and why haven't they been sterilized?

 

[kizzy821]

>>People who aggressively turn their cigarette box upside down and tap it before opening. I promise you those cigarettes didn't move.

The tobacco inside the cigarette moves, ”packing” down and becoming more dense.

Urban legend.

 

[kizzy821]

Who in the fork puts weenies in their gumbo and why haven't they been sterilized?

I have it on good authority that there's a certain faction of Westbank residents who partake in this specific type of voodoo.

 

[brandon8283]

We already have 2 covid threads.

 

[Dago]

I have it on good authority that there's a certain faction of Westbank residents who partake in this specific type of voodoo.

So you are telling me that not only are there horrible people who put weenie pieces in gumbo, it's people native to Louisiana and not some Yankee northeast thing?

 

[0rion]

Urban legend.

Youve obviously never smoked

 

[kizzy821]

Youve obviously never smoked

I'm smoking right now

 

[0rion]

I'm smoking right now

Then you're doing it wrong haha

 

[kizzy821]

Then you're doing it wrong haha

You can take two packs of cigarettes.
Tap, tap, tap one of them.
Smack it up real good.
Leave the other alone.
Open the packs.
Take one out of each.
Compare (identical twins!)
Light em both up.
Smoke simultaneously.

 

[Sailorsaint]

You can take two packs of cigarettes.
Tap, tap, tap one of them.
Smack it up real good.
Leave the other alone.
Open the packs.
Take one out of each.
Compare (identical twins!)
Light em both up.
Smoke simultaneously.

not true. If you "pack" a cigarette, there will be about an eighth of an inch of empty space at the end.