You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations. (14 Viewers)

[guidomerkinsrules]

And I have that same sick feeling as last time

Why isn't there a Children's Day? Has that already been covered?

You're a father everyday just like I'm your child everyday. Why do you get an extra day, as if you did something special or unique. As if you did something I asked you to do.

People complain and talk all kinds of sheet about Valentine's Day. I'm gonna start a movement against Father's Day. Just watch.

*Paging my administrative assistant who's tracking all my dislikes. Jot this one down too*

You only have one assistant for your dislikes?
I think I see a flaw in your system

 

[kizzy821]

You only have one assistant for your dislikes?
I think I see a flaw in your system

You're hinting at a job aren't you.

 

[Goatman Saint]

Honestly, looking back (my son now 29/daughter 24) I can honestly say the vast majority of dads, and parents in general absolutely suck. I guess 26 years in education paired with 27 for my wife has jaded me. I’m not afraid to say my kids are extremely successful, even with the challenges they have had. But the never questioned part is that both my wife and I were absolutely there for them no questions asked.

I see far too much of the guy threatening and intimidating their kids and far too little of the other

 

[kizzy821]

Honestly, looking back (my son now 29/daughter 24) I can honestly say the vast majority of dads, and parents in general absolutely suck. I guess 26 years in education paired with 27 for my wife has jaded me. I’m not afraid to say my kids are extremely successful, even with the challenges they have had. But the never questioned part is that both my wife and I were absolutely there for them no questions asked.

I see far too much of the guy threatening and intimidating their kids and far too little of the other

When you think about parenthood - and how essentially anyone can be one... No licensing. No training. No refresher courses to make sure you're still fit. It's the scariest part of being human.

You're not allowed to operate a forklift without basic training. But you can bring a child onto this planet anytime you please. Talk about a major malfunction in the system.

The parents that trip me out are the ones who dislike their kids because they're just like them.

As if the kid had a choice in how YOU made them.

A bunch of little Frankenstein's monsters running around.

Then we sit back and shake our heads at the state of the world. As if we had absolutely nothing to do with it.

Even people who think their kids turned out ok - do you know if they're raising hell and making it hard for someone else's kid? You don't.

 

[BarBar]

When I was about 12 or 13, my dad gave me a $50 bill to hold while we ran errands before driving to the video store. We eventually made it to the video store and he asked me for the money. I thought I had given it back to him in the car, but I didnt remember for sure. I told him that I thought I had given it back to him after I checked my pockets. He checked his pockets. No $50. He was P'Oed. Irate. We searched the aisles of the video store, then the parking lot, and then the car. All the while he was calling me every name in the book. He was red hot angry. Told the video clerk something to the effect of, "my _______ son lost the damn money". We get in the car and begin driving back in silence. 15 minutes go by. He's too angry to talk anymore. I feel like pure crap, because I can't recall giving him the money back. I had to have right? What the hell did I do with it? God, he's right. I'm a forking idiot. How did I lose that much money? All these thoughts are running through my mind as we ride in silence.

Then, without cause, without so much as a word, he reaches up and pats his shirt. There's a pocket on the right hand side of his t-shirt. He reaches in and finds the missing bill. He pulls it out and looks at it. Pulls over. He turns to me and says the following. I remember it as if it happened yesterday. "You did give it back to me. I called you every name I could think of, I had it the whole time. I'm sorry." My dad apologized to me. He apologized to me.
"That's okay", I say quietly as I still wrestle with the wave of relief sweeping over me and the shock of hearing a remorseful apology from my hero.
"No, it's not. That's on me." We went back to story and got the movies we initially were going to rent. He also let me get a video game which usually never happened. He never told the clerk how we found the money, but I'm guessing the video game rental tipped him off that it wasnt my fault, LOL.

In hindsight, I can say that I gained a lot more respect for my dad that day. I learned a lot too. Sometimes dads make mistakes. Own them.





I dont remember the movies we rented, but I remember the video game rental, Paperboy. Worse video game ever.

My dad was always pretty hard on me. Getting called names was pretty normal.

But I can remember one specific time where he was total A-hole about me not being able to find a tool he sent me out to the shed to get for him.

Later he came to me and apologized. He said he should not expect me to be an adult at 12 years old. This is the only time he ever apologized for anything, but man did that stick with me.

It is amazing that when you are young, you think your parents know everything and have their sheet together just because they are adults. Later, I came to learn they didn't/don't know anything. In the case of my father, he totally ruined his entire life by doing some dumb sheet and ending up in jail...ruining his marriage, losing his house and job....etc.

 

[BarBar]

Oh man, I can tell you some stories. This area is a great place to raise kids, the public schools are among the nation's best it is also very expensive to live here and there are a lot of wealthy, entitled folks here. And some of them do some really stupid things at sporting events.

Back in 2010 or so there was a Bethesda girls team where the parents were so bad they were prohibited from attending the games, they could only drop off and pick up their girls....

My older son's team played a Potomac team that demanded that we play them in a rematch because our 3-1 win was the result of us providing one of the line judges (one of our parents was a certified ref/line judge). The only problem with that is it is actually in the NCSL rule book that if a line judge is needed one of the team's parents needs to step in (they have to be certified).

Nothing to see here, right? WRONG.....That Potomac team had a very powerful, connected lawyer that threatened multiple NCSL admin folk and they actually made us re-play the game. We beat them 4-1 that time and our coach told the other coach in front of his parents that we would be very happy to beat them a 3rd time if they wanted to re-play again....

I witnessed some similar stuff playing church league and intramural sports. I played basketball and football in Jr/high school and also on the church league for basketball. My father mostly coached us on the church league stuff, but it was all the same players from the high school squads for the most part. More ball is good so it was nice to have BBall 3 nights a week during the season. I was only an average player. Tall and good on defense, but average ball skills....I wasn't anything special and my father certainly didn't treat me like I was special on the team.

But anyway we were playing the best team in the league twice in one day on a double header. Their high school team was also the best in the district. And it's all the same players. The star players dad was the coach for the church league.

Well, game 1 we beat the pants off them. It wasn't even competitive really. Maybe the underestimated us???? Who knows but I remember beating them by like 20 points-ish.

Anyway, there were some words said between the coaches between games. So, we go out in game 2 and it's closer but we also beat the stuffings out of them.

After the game it is customary to line up and shake hands, led by the coaches. Well we all went to shake hands led by my father and the other coach slapped his hand down and said he would never shake the hand of a cheater hahahahahahaha. Sore frickin loser. That was their only 2 losses on the season as I recall. Anyway, I have posted a little bit about my dad, but slapping his hand and calling him a cheater is...let's say unwise....I feel that I am lucky that I didn't witness my father put a beatdown on the guy in front of all the parents. I am pretty sure he only saw white hot rage for about 3 or 4 seconds....thankfully he walked away.


The absolute WORST thing about having your dad be your coach is that during the high school games he was also always screaming from the stands. He would also call me over to the side while the coach talked to the rest of team to coach me...lol. so embarrassing.

 

[BarBar]

Honestly, looking back (my son now 29/daughter 24) I can honestly say the vast majority of dads, and parents in general absolutely suck. I guess 26 years in education paired with 27 for my wife has jaded me. I’m not afraid to say my kids are extremely successful, even with the challenges they have had. But the never questioned part is that both my wife and I were absolutely there for them no questions asked.

I see far too much of the guy threatening and intimidating their kids and far too little of the other

My wife and I are welcoming our first child into the world next year. I am 42 and she is 41.

I honestly think I will be a much better parent now than at age 25-30. I have learned so much in the last decade and a half. I know that in stressful moments I fall back onto the way I was raised. Back then I thought yelling and name calling was normal. But at least I know it and I actively TRY not to act that way.

Sometimes I snap at my wife during an argument the way he used to and it just makes me feel like total crap. I gotta get that TOTALLY under control before the kid comes. I never want to treat my kid the way I was treated.

It's not that my folks were bad people, but they had ZERO idea how to raise a child. It was very much a "spare the rod" kind of upbringing. They thought they were doing it right and I turned out OK in their eyes so they feel justified. They have no idea the baggage I carry from all those experiences.

 

[guidomerkinsrules]

My wife and I are welcoming our first child into the world next year. I am 42 and she is 41.

I honestly think I will be a much better parent now than at age 25-30. I have learned so much in the last decade and a half. I know that in stressful moments I fall back onto the way I was raised. Back then I thought yelling and name calling was normal. But at least I know it and I actively TRY not to act that way.

Sometimes I snap at my wife during an argument the way he used to and it just makes me feel like total crap. I gotta get that TOTALLY under control before the kid comes. I never want to treat my kid the way I was treated.

It's not that my folks were bad people, but they had ZERO idea how to raise a child. It was very much a "spare the rod" kind of upbringing. They thought they were doing it right and I turned out OK in their eyes so they feel justified. They have no idea the baggage I carry from all those experiences.

40 is when I had my first - I might have been able to parent ok in mid 30s but certainly not before that - I still had way too much play in me
I think the major trade off with starting later is having much less energy/stamina for play, et al

I’d caution against trying to eliminate ‘snapping’
You’ll be stressed and exhausted and learned behavior will seep out - no need to add guilt and disappointment on top of that - talk it through with your wife about how to check each other and help quickly navigate away from the behavior you don’t want to display

 

[Optimus Prime]

And I have that same sick feeling as last time

Why isn't there a Children's Day? Has that already been covered?

You're a father everyday just like I'm your child everyday. Why do you get an extra day, as if you did something special or unique. As if you did something I asked you to do.

People complain and talk all kinds of sheet about Valentine's Day. I'm gonna start a movement against Father's Day. Just watch.

*Paging my administrative assistant who's tracking all my dislikes. Jot this one down too*

If a child asks his or her mother or father

“There’s a Mothers Day and a Fathers Day, why isn’t there a Childrens Day?”

There is a 99% chance the parent will respond with:

“Every day is Childrens Day”

 

[kizzy821]

If a child asks his or her mother or father

“There’s a Mothers Day and a Fathers Day, why isn’t there a Childrens Day?”

There is a 99% chance the parent will respond with:

“Every day is Childrens Day”

OMG, I know. But they're wrong! LMAO.

They 'bought' us, in a sense. Like a purse or a car.

And now there are these days where we're supposed to celebrate them for buying us.

Helllllo? We must be pretty darned special for you to go seek us out. Recognize us and put some Respeck on our names

 

[0rion]

My wife and I are welcoming our first child into the world next year. I am 42 and she is 41.

I honestly think I will be a much better parent now than at age 25-30. I have learned so much in the last decade and a half. I know that in stressful moments I fall back onto the way I was raised. Back then I thought yelling and name calling was normal. But at least I know it and I actively TRY not to act that way.

Sometimes I snap at my wife during an argument the way he used to and it just makes me feel like total crap. I gotta get that TOTALLY under control before the kid comes. I never want to treat my kid the way I was treated.

It's not that my folks were bad people, but they had ZERO idea how to raise a child. It was very much a "spare the rod" kind of upbringing. They thought they were doing it right and I turned out OK in their eyes so they feel justified. They have no idea the baggage I carry from all those experiences.

Congrats on the upcoming baby. Patience is key with a kid and fortunately the older you get the more patience you have. Unfortunately the older you get the less energy you have haha. You and your wife will sleep good haha

 

[BarBar]

Congrats on the upcoming baby. Patience is key with a kid and fortunately the older you get the more patience you have. Unfortunately the older you get the less energy you have haha. You and your wife will sleep good haha

I am already experiencing this phenomenon. Stuff I could do all day 10 years ago just wipes me out for a couple of days now.

 

[0rion]

I am already experiencing this phenomenon. Stuff I could do all day 10 years ago just wipes me out for a couple of days now.

I'm a slow learner....I tore my Achilles TWICE before I learned I can no longer run around playing soccer with my daughter. In my defense though I tore it the 2nd time running for a pop fly playing softball with her. Makes a very distinct "pop" when it lets go haha

 

[Goatman Saint]

If a child asks his or her mother or father

“There’s a Mothers Day and a Fathers Day, why isn’t there a Childrens Day?”

There is a 99% chance the parent will respond with:

“Every day is Childrens Day”

Well, it would seem looking at who pays for gas, coffee, meals when we together both of my kids seem to still think so. And they both well into 6 figures

 

[sfidc3]

I witnessed some similar stuff playing church league and intramural sports. I played basketball and football in Jr/high school and also on the church league for basketball. My father mostly coached us on the church league stuff, but it was all the same players from the high school squads for the most part. More ball is good so it was nice to have BBall 3 nights a week during the season. I was only an average player. Tall and good on defense, but average ball skills....I wasn't anything special and my father certainly didn't treat me like I was special on the team.

But anyway we were playing the best team in the league twice in one day on a double header. Their high school team was also the best in the district. And it's all the same players. The star players dad was the coach for the church league.

Well, game 1 we beat the pants off them. It wasn't even competitive really. Maybe the underestimated us???? Who knows but I remember beating them by like 20 points-ish.

Anyway, there were some words said between the coaches between games. So, we go out in game 2 and it's closer but we also beat the stuffings out of them.

After the game it is customary to line up and shake hands, led by the coaches. Well we all went to shake hands led by my father and the other coach slapped his hand down and said he would never shake the hand of a cheater hahahahahahaha. Sore frickin loser. That was their only 2 losses on the season as I recall. Anyway, I have posted a little bit about my dad, but slapping his hand and calling him a cheater is...let's say unwise....I feel that I am lucky that I didn't witness my father put a beatdown on the guy in front of all the parents. I am pretty sure he only saw white hot rage for about 3 or 4 seconds....thankfully he walked away.


The absolute WORST thing about having your dad be your coach is that during the high school games he was also always screaming from the stands. He would also call me over to the side while the coach talked to the rest of team to coach me...lol. so embarrassing.

Yep….we were playing in a soccer winter league….we played a Div 1 team that was most older kids….we were a Div 2 NCSL team at the time….we beat them 2-1….there loud-mouthed jerky British coach wouldn’t shake hands with our coach….he turned around and said to him “you wanna know what’s really funny? You being paid thousands of dollars a year to coach a very talented older squad and me doing it for free and beating you guys? Priceless!!!!!!

No offense, but your Dad (as a coach) should have known better….total disrespect to the coach and team….he would not have lasted as a parent around our squads….that stuff was nipped in the bud, lost out on more than a few good kids because of that….